Ika 1 ng Agosto 2008

TGIF...... even on a rainy day. Ironically, this is also the first day of the month. And beginnings are like the spring in life's seasons....... eagerly awaited for its promise. On this rainy morning, I woke up to the promise of the last workday of the week.

It started out rather frantically with me scouting for things that my son needs for his science and art class. I read about the art materials in his diary last night. But I was surprised about the science requirements that my son told me only this morning. They would be dissecting a frog today. He needs an aluminum pan lined with candle wax. Apparently, his Dad was informed about it last night but he forgot to buy it. So we had to 'steal' his sister's baking pan. My son said that I should be accountable to his sister for this. Anyway, hubby should buy the replacement because it was his fault he forgot to buy one. I called up my eldest daughter from her dorm to ask about her spare dissecting kit. She told me it's in her room. I couldn't find it though.

While my son was having breakfast, I was preparing the stuffs that he needs while my helper lined the pan with candle wax. My son prepared for school after breakfast. We got his things ready just before the bus arrived. His dad gave him money to buy the dissecting kit from the school bookstore.

These frenzied mornings are no longer new to me. But my son telling me that he needs those things is......... He has always been unmindful about school stuffs until lately. Science is his favorite subject. So maybe that can partly explain it. But he has been showing some sense of responsibility a number of times..... like he would remember when his PE uniform is needed or art materials he needs to bring. He would tell us though and we still have to prepare these things. In due time, he would have to learn to do it himself. At least, he is dressing by himself now. I used to hang around his room giving him what he needs until about the first few days of this school year. Slowly, I let him dress by himself. I just check for what he missed just before he leaves. He still forgets something at times. My goal is to make him entirely independent of my "mothering" by this school year. He has shown great promise...... I know in time, my baby will be his own man.

I left the house feeling good. Wearing my hooded black jacket, I thought I look great too as I have seen myself so so on some days. I love the rain for it quenches the earth's thirst. It is refreshing after the long hot summer days. After the rain, a new day is dawning when everything comes in full bloom once again. Just as the last day of the workweek promises me a weekend of bliss in my home.

PS: Habang nakasakay ako sa tricycle, nadaanan ko ang isang batang naka kapoteng kulay pink. Di ko maiwasang di tignan ang bata. Naalala ko nung kabataan ko na masayang masaya ako na nakakapote pag umuulan. Halos ayaw ko hubarin ito at pakiramdam ko ligtas ako sa anumang panganib na dala ng ulan.

Ang tag-ulan ay panahon din kung kailan tumutubo ang damuhan sa dinadaanan naming magkakapatid at magpipinsan na riles ng tren pauwi ng bahay galing eskwelahan. Sa mga damuhan na ito, pumipitas ako ng maliliit na bulaklak na pasalubong ko sa nanay ko pa-uwi. Lalagyan ko pa ito ng masangsang na pabango ng tatay ko bago ko ibigay sa nanay ko. Para sa isang bata, ito ang paraan ko ng pagsisipsip nung araw. Siguro napasaya ko rin ang nanay ko dahil dito. Wala na ang nanay ko pero eto ang mga alala ng yugto ng buhay na minsan kumukurot pa rin sa puso.

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Ika 31 ng Hulyo 2008

July ended today..... Quite a month for me. Home life is always chaotic but continues to bring warmth in my life. My family is always there for solace and will never be traded nor compromised for anything else. So are my friends who are my source of strength and comfort on those times........ School settled down somehow after its opening in June. I got into the hang of my daily grind. Work is hectic as always. My office continues to pose the challenge of bringing back the magic of novelty and dealing with various characters and influences. I started a new teaching job which have somehow revved up the tempo of my routine. I drew an inspiration which got me into the writing mode once again with this blog.

So what can I expect with August? I guess it won't be any different from the ordinary and the mundane stuff I need to deal with each and every day of my life. With the unexpected continuing to faze me and unsettling my routine, I shall always look forward with anticipation to what each day will lead me . I will continue to live my ordinary life striving to be a decent person toiling a living and loving people I hold dear. After all, life may not necessarily be fair all the time but has been good enough for living.

Even with the big headache I have coming to office, I am here reporting for duty on this last day of July.

PS: Nararamdaman ko ang pagkakulang ng tulog ko nitong mga nakaraang araw at lagi ako nakakatulog sa sasakyan kahit minsan ayaw ko matulog. Gaya kanina na nagbabasa ako ng libro ko para sa klase ko mamayang gabi, nakatulog ako. Kasalanan ko rin minsan kasi di ko maiwasang magpuyat sa panonood ng TV. Kagabi ay palabas ang CSI Miami and nung isang gabi ay CSI New York naman. Pinanonood ko to kahit na paminsan minsan naiidlip ako at nakakaligtaan ang ibang eksena. Meron din CSI Las Vegas na pinakauna sa mga CSI series pero di ko pinapanood ito.

Pakiramdam ko nagiging irresponsable din ako dahil pinagpapalit ko ang tulog sa panonood. Pero tao lang naman ako na kailangan din ng aliw. Ayoko rin naman maging masyadong higpitan ang sarili ko sa mga bagay na nagbibigay aliw at kulay sa buhay. Minsan lang naman tayo mabuhay, di ba........ At dahil sa pinagbigyan ko ang hilig ko, eto ngayon ang pakiramdam ko......

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Ika 30 ng Hulyo 2008

An ordinary Wednesday morning tending to my son who didn't finish his Math homework on base numbers........ What the heck is that! He did his English homework last night. His Dad helped him out on the Math. My son got tired so his Dad let him off the hook to sleep.

So we were trying to finish his homework as I was figuring out how to work out the calculation at the same time. I tried looking at the examples in his book and ended up confused on some of the answers hubby taught him. We paused for a while to eat breakfast. When he finished, he went to his bedroom to prepare for school. I told him to ask his Dad who was also preparing for work why we have different interpretations of base numbers. I actually didn't read his book.

When hubby came down for breakfast, he asked if I read the book. Actually, I browsed briefly. He explained to me the concept. It was not really that hard. He read it, that why he understood. I called out to my son to hurry up so he can still finish his homework. I had to tell him also that his Dad got it right this time. We continued to answer his homework. His bus arrived shortly and he didn't finish his homework. So I told him to finish his homework in school. I told him to ask his Math teacher too what base numbers are used for.

The moral of my story is learn to read because you can't know everything. Also, having no knowledge is better than giving wrong information. Learning my lesson the hard way today, I plunged to my ultimate adventure. I went to the office with a new found knowledge of base numbers whose application are best appreciated by computers and other computing devices.

PS: Kaninang sumakay ako sa van, nakasabay ko ang isang magkasintahan na kasabay ko rin kagabi. Natandaan ko sila dahil sa kanilang pagiging malambing sa isa't isa na parang pwede silang langgamin. Kagabi ay katapat ko sila at di ko mapigilan di mapatingin sa kanilang PDA o "public display of affection" na sa mga nakakapanood ay pwede maging "predisposed to drool over this attraction". Hindi naman ako naattract sa kanila, nadistract pa nga. Siguro yun iba rin na nakasakay sa van kagabi. Nagrorosaryo pa naman yun katabi nilang babae. Baka nga naipagdasal na sila.

Wala nga kaming pakialam dun at sarili nilang diskarte yun. Pero naman kasi pampublikong sasakyan pa rin yan. Di naman ako masyadong makalumang tao. Pero siguro naman me lugar para sa mga ganyan bagay. At kung me respeto sila sa isa't isa, pwede naman nilang ipakita ito hindi sa pakikipagulayaw nila sa isa't isa sa harapan ng maraming tao. Sa ibang kultura siguro natatanggap ang ganyan. Pero dito sa tin, hindi pa tayo handa sa ganyan klaseng pagbabago.

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Ika 29 ng Hulyo 2008

While the morning started lightly for me, it was not to be......

I rode in a red van with guess who, my favorite Mr. RV driver. I didn't realize it was him as my thoughts were on something else, i.e. the exams I will give to my students later which I have not prepared, when i rode the van and sat between him and a male passenger. I tried to sleep as his driving was unbelievably smooth. I couldn't. I tried to let my subconscious do as it wanted closing my eyes. I could only think of the many things I have been neglecting to do lately like organizing my stuff and following up on certain hanging matters. Hence, I feel my life has been chaotic lately........

I was a follower of this show on lifestyle channel. mission organization. It doesn't air currently but I still hope to catch it soon. The show features cluttered living spaces and the mission is to get it uncluttered through organizing. I have been inspired by the show to adopt some of the techniques used. I gained some measure of success in my effort. The downside is I get resentment at times for being "inflexible" about some of the organization requirements from some of my household members who are not consistent and maybe dislike order. Still, I have to acknowledge that the effort paid off as our stuffs have proper places and can readily be found. Even files in our hard drives btw need to be organized in a way that suits us. Since I am the organizer, I have to patiently guide my household members on where to find our things all the time. Not that I am complaining......

Lately, I have been remiss particularly in our study area. The trouble with being negligent about our duties is getting our momentum back. And the more I let things file up, the greater amount of effort is needed to go back to the organization mode. With my to-do list already filing up, I have the tendency to further slack off. I read the single tasking philosophy from zenhabits. It all boils down to the fact that you can only do so much from your list. The key is being able to identify and prioritize which things need to be done immediately. We can actually determine how this can work for us. At certain times, I would pick out the most difficult tasks from my list. Other times, I'll start with those which can easily be done in a shorter time. Whatever suits you, the important thing is get started, or restarted for some of us.

Just when I have decided that the next weekend is going to be devoted to organizing and tying up loose ends or at least get started, I was falling asleep. Since Mr. RV driver continued to give me a good ride, I fell asleep until about the time I reached my destination. As I take my final ride to the office, I realized too that my mission just started at this moment as I need to finish an exam before my classes tonight.... Lunch break is going to be pretty hectic today.

PS: Me mga araw na dumadaan na parang walang nagyari sa buhay kahit ang daming ginagawa. Dahil kaya sa wala talagang kwenta ang pinaggagagawa ko? Hindi naman siguro. Kasi kung di naman gagawin to, lalong malaking problema.

Kelangan ko siguro ng bakasyon. Ang tagal ko nang di nakapagbakasyon na talagang bakasyon. Una, dahil me trabaho ako, me klase ako, dami trabaho..... Nandyan pa yun me pasok ang mga bata, walang magbabantay sa bahay, walang mag-aalaga sa mga alagang hayop, me gagawin sa bahay at marami pang ibang dahilan.

Pero lahat tayo kailangan din magbakasyon paminsan minsan. Mahirap nang maging permanente ang bakasyon natin.

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Ika 28 ng Hulyo 2008

Uh..... This is exactly how Monday mornings feel like on a stormy morning. It didn't help that my middle daughter and son who are in high school and elementary respectively have no classes today due to Typhoon "Igme" supposedly. Actually, my two daughters and I were contemplating about the possibility of classes being suspended since Friday as today President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo will deliver her State of the Nation Address. Sure enough, classes in elementary and high school have been suspended due to the typhoon last night.

My college daughter and hubby left early. My eldest daughter must be feeling the curse of adulthood. Well, I was.... Only a little a year ago, she was rejoicing with her sister and brother over such good news. They would have a double celebration if their Dad gave them their allowances for the week as he couldn't expect a refund in such an event.

I had to do some soul searching on whether I should subject myself to the tortures of the job. With much effort, I left the house but not without being further aggravated by my son who said that I smell "weird" after he kissed me goodbye and my middle daughter who commented that my clothes look like a baro't saya and she didn't mean it in a good way. Now that's really a damper on my day. My son must be so used to seeing me in my disheveled state after sleeping. My middle daughter, who is my regular shopping companion, got me thinking though. I AM NOT IN A NATIONAL COSTUME, OK. Not that there's anything wrong with it, I just picked out an old white top in my closet to go with my slacks. I was too lazy to dress up. These things happen. I know when I am not in my best and this must be one of those days.

I arrived at the terminal only to be told that I could no longer be accommodated in the last van. Uhhhh..... So I proceeded to Alabang to take a bus. At least, my fare was cheaper by P30. Soon, I was walking to my office thinking how a day like this will turn out.

Just like the many inaccurate predictions of PAGASA Weather Bureau, the skies are clear. Please don't blame our weather bureau for their lapses. They could use budget augmentation to improve their weather forecasts. So it appears that my middle daughter and son are celebrating by this time while I am here agonizing the rest of my day.

PS: Nitong nakaraang weekend ay naging busy kami sa pag-aayos ng kapaligiran. Pero mahirap maglinis pag umuulan. Ni hindi makatuyo ng damit na nilabhan. Maputik ang paligid kaya di makalabas.

Dahil sa maulan na panahon, nagkaron din ako ng pagkakataon na makapaggawa ng mga bagong playlists ng mga paborito kong kanta sa youtube. Sarap sanang gawin to maghapon pero laging me mga sumisingit na trabaho sa bahay. Nasingitan pa ako ng panganay na anak ko ng magprint siya ng project sa eskwelahan. Lalo kong naappreciate ang teknolohiya sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. Me mga kanta kasing talagang mga mahirap makita na o "hard to find". Ang musika ay isa sa mga nagsisilbing aliw ko sa buhay. Minsan lang nasasakop na ng napakaraming dibersiyon ang oras ko at nakakalimutan ko ang halaga nito sa buhay.

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Ika 27 ng Hulyo 2008

Brainchild's break......how I wish I could be actually watching this out there ....

PS: Gising na.... Dapat pahinga ang Linggo at dapat mangiling. Pero bakit ba hindi mangyari to? Sa halip pagod na pagod ako sa dami ng dapat gawin. Sa sobrang bilis ng takbo ng buhay, nagiging alipin tayo ng panahon.........

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Ika 26 ng Hulyo 2008

Brainchild's break,,,,,,, really now....

PS: Marami akong experimentong ginagawa sa site na to para mas maging kaaya aya tignan. Sana wala ako magawang malaking pagkakamali at maiiyak ako.

Iniisip ko pa lang gagawin sa araw na to, napapagod na ako. Napakarami pero dapat mag-umpisa na. Sana ay matapos ko lahat.

Good luck to me.

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Ika 25 ng Hulyo 2005

Today my blog is one month old! So far, I am immensely enjoying myself blogging about life. I am pleased that I have made some people happy through some of my posts. I have made some cry, tears of joy. I got some good praises and gratitude. As they say, in life there should be balance. There is good and evil. For every positive, there should necessarily be a negative. And there have been complaints from some of my subjects whose rather funny and strange habits and ways I have inadvertently unearthed from obscurity. To them, my apology today and for future posts. Rest assured that your anonymous identities will remain as they are for as long as you are not recognized by people who know you through your own unusual actions. I hope we will continue to remain loving families and good friends even as i continue to blog. I noticed though a remarkable change in your personalities whenever I am around. Peace to you all.

Life indeed has a uncanny means of making things happen at the most unexpected moment. I have been wanting to write something that can probably be considered a journal of an active life observer experiencing joy, excitement, pain, sorrow, guilt, pleasure, uncertainties, fears, and a whole gamut of emotions we all go through living life. Just when I least expected it, circumstances have given me the chance to document life as it happens using this great medium. Thanks to the wonders of technology, aspiring writers like me are given the chance to use our talents in creative ideas expressed unbridled......the endless possibilities are beckoning me to further explore and widen my horizon at the same time.

I have probably not made much impact at this time. But what matters is I have now greater freedom to express my ideas and feelings. Repressed thoughts can have devastating consequences. To loved ones, friends and readers of this blog, I would encourage you to share with me your thoughts and feelings on your favorite topics. Who knows? This could lead us to lesser conflicts, better understanding, and stronger bonds.

This is brainchild unveiled.

PS: Isang buwan na ang blog na to at pang 50 kong post ito. Pag binabasa ko ang mga posts dito, parang di ako makapaniwala na kaya pala gawin ito kung gusto natin ang ginagawa natin. Ang trabaho ko ay halos puro sulat din ng kung ano ano gaya ng thesis, research paper, report, letter, memo, position paper, speech, terms of reference, contract, review ng mga dokumento, at marami pang iba. Yun mga ginagawa ko sa trabaho na panulat, kadalasan kailangan ko ng matinding pananaliksik at panunuri para maisulat ang mga ito. Napansin ko lang na pag gusto mo ang ginagawa mo, madali humanap ng inspirasyon para makalikha. Mabilis din gawin to kasi yun daloy ng ideya ay natural at walang pagpupunyagi (kinailangan ko kumunsulta sa English Tagalog dictionary dito, pati rin sa research and analyis). Madalas ang mga ganitong sinulat natin ang nagbibigay kasayahan sa buhay natin at minsan ay nagiging daan para gumaan ang mga dinadala sa buhay.

Maligayang pag-iisang buwan brainchild!

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The Art of War with the BOSS

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will fight without danger in battles.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.

Many of real life battles have drawn inspiration from Sun Tzu’s classic “The Art of War”. From the battleground to life’s struggles, Sun Tzu’ teachings have given military strategists, management experts and life coaches the proper knowledge and skills in battling the enemy. Sun Tzu was the first to recognize the importance of positioning in strategy and that position is affected both by objective conditions in the physical environment and the subjective opinions of competitive actors in that environment. He taught that strategy was not planning in the sense of working through a to-do list, but requires quick and appropriate responses to changing conditions. He added that planning works in a controlled environment, but in a competitive environment, competing plans collide, creating unexpected situations.

The art of war is governed by five constant factors to guide the warrior-strategist. These are:

The MORAL LAW causes the people to be in complete accord with their ruler, so that they will follow him regardless of their lives, undismayed by any danger.

HEAVEN signifies night and day, cold and heat, times and seasons.

EARTH comprises distances, great and small; danger and security; open ground and narrow passes; the chances of life and death.

The COMMANDER stands for the virtues of wisdom, sincerity, benevolence, courage and strictness.

By METHOD AND DISCIPLINE are to be understood the marshaling of the army in its proper subdivisions, the graduations of rank among the officers, the maintenance of roads by which supplies may reach the army, and the control of military expenditure.

So very true even in the work environment. In our professional lives, we would need to apply all these rules to get ahead and succeed in our goal to create a successful organization. The ruler is one key element to the strategy as espoused by Sun Tzu. But what if the enemy is the boss? And you have suddenly found yourself in the precarious spot of having to fight with your boss?

Then, you have been dealt with a handicap by Sun Tzu’s strategy because suddenly the enemy is closer to home. It is a lonely place and you would usually be alone. Your ruler ceased to be your comrade and may actually cause you your life , your job. You might have to strategize on your own. What do you do?

Having had first-hand experience, I believe I earned some authority and gained some respect on the subject of dealing with a difficult boss and fighting him/her if it becomes necessary.

I would go by Sun Tzu’s philosophy on knowing thyself. Ask yourself the following questions while contemplating on fighting with the boss:

1. How important is your job to you in terms of your survival and that of your family?
2. How marketable are your skills in the event that you lose your job?
3. How much resources are you willing to stake if the fight would escalate?
4. Do you have a back-up plan in case you misfire?
5. Are you capable of defending yourself?
6. Do you have a network that could prove useful later?
7. Do you have access to the higher-ups?
8. Do you have the strength of character to fight a difficult battle?
9. Do you have skeletons in the closet that can prove detrimental?
10. Do you have a support system once the battle starts?
11. Can your family withstand the pressure and pain that can be brought by your battle?
12. Are you willing and ready to fight with your boss?

The answers to these difficult questions can empower you in your battle. Once, you are sure about yourself, people who will be affected should be informed about your decision. If you cannot gain their support, you are defeated even before you started the fight. For some, conflicts might arise at this stage particularly if the means of living is affected. It is important that prior preparations are made to explore employment possibilities elsewhere. To the extent that options are open to you, support systems are enhanced and your action may even be acceptable. It is pointless to fight a battle if you are half-hearted about it. It becomes a losing proposition if your loved ones are not with you in this battle.

When all things about yourself have been sorted out and you still are willing to take the hard choice of fighting with your boss, you need to assess the strengths and capabilities of your enemy.

1. What kind of a person is your boss?
2. Is your boss a fair fighter?
3. Does your boss possess the power to eliminate you?
4. How close is your boss to the power that be?
5. How important is your boss to the organization?
6. What is your boss reputation in the organization?
7. Who belongs in your boss’s network?
8. Does your boss have the resources in case the fight escalates?
9. Does your boss have spies in the office?
10. Where does your boss source his/her information?
11. Does your boss resort to dirty tactics when fighting?
12. Does your boss cheat or lie?
13. Does your boss have something on her sleeves on you?

The answers to these questions will be important inputs in the strategy you will formulate. The person in your boss should be the basis in crafting your strategy. It will be ideal to fight a fair boss but it is rare that you will fight such a boss. Once you made your boss an enemy, judgment is clouded and you become a live target. Bosses with poor reputation may be easier to tackle but will not necessarily back out of a battle. On the contrary, these bosses will employ means, both fair and foul, to get back at you. She/He will bait you into doing things that may jeopardize your battle. The difficulty of your battle would also hinge on your boss’s clout and connections in your office.

After carefully assessing your options and you decide to take a stand, be ready for the real fight.

1. Prepare well and arm yourself

Be ready to document the issues that you want to raise against your boss. Research is necessary. Stick to the most important issue. The side issues would weaken your case. If you have to fight for the other issues, do this one at a time. Get help from the experts if necessary.

2. Go through the proper channels

Determine the appropriate channels to air your grievance against your boss. Start discussing the problem with the cause of the problem, your boss. If this proves to be a futile exercise, formalize your complaint through a memo or letter and request for desired action from your boss. Always be open to a workable solution as you do this. The boss may either initiate favorable action or take you on. In the case of the latter, you suddenly will find yourself living hell in your office.

The arena will have to be moved outside your organization. If things get out of hand, be ready to elevate your concerns to your boss’s immediate superior. Depending on the action taken, elevating your complaint to the next higher position should be pursued to ensure that all administrative remedies were explored. If you remain dissatisfied with how your complaint was handled by your top management, a legal battle may be an option. A labor lawyer can help you prepare appropriate charges. The labor department or appropriate government body may also be requested to intervene.

3. Generate support for your cause

In the course of your battle, try to gain support among people in the organization with the same values and maybe hatred for your boss. They may be valuable sources of information that can prove incriminating for your boss (use of spies).

Try to win people from the top. Find a way to personally discuss your problem with a member of the top management. Ensure that the person will understand the situation. Winning the support of such a person can greatly improve the chances of success. However, be very cautious in doing this bearing in mind that top management protects their own kind. There is always the possibility that a member of top management does not like your boss. Once you know this, immediately take advantage of the opportunity.

Unions or employees associations may also help you in your fight. Let them in on your battle.

4. Control your emotions but do not repress

Fight fairly even if your boss is not a fair fighter. Do not try to get even. No name-calling. People are always sympathetic to the underdog. If the boss is harassing you, let him/her do it. This can actually be used to your advantage.

Stand by the truth no matter how difficult it may seem. Truth always prevails.

5. Be ready to face the consequences

Be magnanimous in victory and gracious in defeat. There is a great chance that you would lose. As mentioned, It is always wise for the top management to protect their own rather than rock the boat. Give it your best shot, hope for the best but expect the worst. Even if faced with the prospect of continuing to work for the boss under this unfortunate event, continue to do the right thing. Believe in the law of karma. You wouldn’t know when the time will come for good to triumph. That is the time to reap your just reward.


It will be a difficult and long battle but believe me you will come out of it a wiser and better person. It is not easy to repress deep-seated emotions that could eat you up and cause anxiety and health-related problems later on. It is better to be true to yourself and fight for what you believe in.

There you have it…… A practical guide to would-be boss fighters from a battle-scarred employee who learned to fight a boss in my own terms. If this helps you, I would be happy to know that somebody chose to take a stand. Add to my list your own unique ways in dealing with your difficult boss.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. - Galatians 6:9

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Ika 24 ng Hulyo 2008

I didn't have to wake up my son today. He went to my room and woke me up instead. I gave him a hug. What a good way to start a morning! He did his homework too with the help of hubby last night. I told him I would follow him downstairs. I have been oversleeping lately. I can't get up quickly as my alarm goes off. The bed is just so comfy and mornings are cooler.

I left the house after my morning rituals and rode a waiting grey van. I sat right in front. It gave me a bird's eye view of the things we passed by. The road looked relaxed with fewer cars. One is less stressed out with a light traffic. I wasn't sleepy. I was looking at the billboards along the highway. It gives you an idea of who is in or out in the entertainment scene. Well, there's Juday, Angel Locsin, Dr. Vicky Belo, Maja Salvador, Dingdong Dantes, and a host of commercial model wannabes. I even saw Manny Pacquiao on a mobile ad. Judging from the number of billboards to her credit, the 'it' girl at the moment is Marian Rivera, Angel Locsin's heir apparent. What used to be Angel's spot has been taken over by Dyezebel. I don't watch soaps but I am updated on what's happening in the entertainment scene, locally and internationally. Correction, soap is forced on me during my bus trips on the way home. Not really an assault, it's a fun way to while away the hour or so ride. Although, there were times I would like to give my two-cents' worth to the show writers but balk for fear that I might be assaulted by other passengers. It also doesn't take much to browse the entertainment column in the daily.

Marian is also the sexiest Pinay today. Eat your heart out, Katrina Halili and Iwa Moto. Katrina recently said that she wants to reclaim the spot. Let's just say that their five minutes are up. In showbiz, fame is fleeting like everything else in this life. Marian was a nobody before she was plucked out from obscurity because of the void left by Angel, former GMA 7 prize catch who transferred to ABS 2. Angel's move was interpreted by some as bereft of debt of gratitude. Among Pinoys, being an ingrate is a mortal sin. GMA 7 ensured that Marian would ably fill in Angel's shoes. She did. Marian's shows are top raters while Angel has lost her magic. Maybe, it was good for her too as Angel also claimed that she wants some work-life balance. She must have found it now and soon it may even tilt in a direction she might regret. 'It' girl, Marian, is simply hot, hot, hot and she continues to sizzle. Oh, I am in no way a fan of Marian. I am just exhibiting a typical Pinoy trait, being a gossip. Hey, I am allowed some tackiness in life. Life, after all, isn't supposed to be taken so seriously.

By the time we reach Makati, I was getting sleepy. Probably due to the stimulation I got looking at all those colorful images. I fell asleep as the van weaves its way through urban traffic making sure that I opened my eyes occasionally to check my location. I was dizzy as I alighted at my destination. I have to stop dreaming and live out my nightmare.

PS: Nitong mga nakaraang araw, panay ang pakikipag-umayam ko sa mga kaibigan. Sa dami ng mga organisasyon na naging parte ng aking buhay, marami rami rin akong nakilalang tao at me ilan na naging kaibigan ko. Di ko maituturing na napakarami ng kaibigan ko. Pero sigurado akong tunay na kaibigan ang mga kaibigan na meron ako. Me kaibigan ako sa high school at elementarya (isang eskwelahan lang ang pinasukan ko), sa kolehiyo, sa mga naging trabaho ko, sa kapitbahay, at kahit sa mga pagkakataong di inaasahan.

Di katulad ng kamag-anak na di natin mapili, ang kaibigan ay pinili natin na maging parte ng atin buhay sa iba't ibang dahilan minsan sa buhay natin. Maari na kailangan natin sila minsan sa buhay natin o sila nangangailangan sa tin. Sa pag-usad ng panahon, pinagtitibay ang pagkakaibigan. Minsan kahit di mo na sila kailangan, nandiyan pa rin sila. Me ibang kaibigan na nawala na. Meron din sigurong di na kaibigan at nagbago na kami ng pananaw sa buhay. Meron din na nawala na pero bumalik ulit. Meron din ilan na ituturing kong higit pa sa kaibigan. Hindi ko na kailangan na pangalanan pa sila dahil alam kong alam nila kung ano sila sa buhay ko. Kahit ano pa ang kalagayan natin sa buhay, lahat tayo nangangailangan ng isang kaibigan.

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ika 23 ng Hulyo 2008

I made up with my son today. He woke up whimpering when I told him to finish his homework. He worked on it last night but left some items unfinished. He initially told me, "you woke me up for this?". I said yes. I asked why he didn't ask for her sister's help. He said he did but she couldn't help him with it. I explained to him the uses of pronouns in sentences and guided him in developing some sets for English and Math respectively. He must be pleased he finished his homework. He was in a jovial mood when we had our breakfast.

While having breakfast, hubby came to join us. Well, what do you know he read my post and was asking me why I was home. If I had responded to that, it could have started a war. I let it go. But at the back of my mind, I was thinking how could I trust a man who forgot to feed his infant child, my middle daughter, many years back when I left them to take a qualifying exams for a course I would undertake. I left appropriate food and proper utensils for him and our two young daughters. Everything was in order when I left the house. There was no household help that time. When I came back and asked if they ate, he said yes. I wasn't quite comfortable as something seemed amiss and I asked if he fed our then youngest daughter. He was dumbfounded and threw me back a question, "She needed to be fed?" Now tell me if my instincts are wrong?

Well, I made up with my son. So The rest of the day should be fine. I am not on a tight sked today. I want to go to the office on a rather leisurely pace coming from a cramped day yesterday. While I love their company, my lunch with my friends took longer than expected. Everything was chaotic after that lunch. I was also late for school coming with an unfinished presentation materials. The day ended with me feeling exhausted.

So here I am about to make this day interesting......

PS: Gaya ng inanasahan, masaya ang naging tanghalian naming magkakaibigan kahapon. Masaya dahil di kaming mga taga Pilipinas and nagbayad. Dahil mapilit siya, pinaubaya namin sa taga Amerika.

Hindi lang naman dahil libre ang lunch namin kaya masaya yun. Apat na taon na pala nakalipas ng huling umuwi ang kaibigan namin. Namiss na rin namin ang isa't isa. Dahil sa mabilis na takbo ng buhay, bihira na kaming magkita-kita....... iba iba na ang aming landas at ang isa nga ay nasa Amerika na nga. Kahit komunikasyon ay nabawasan na. Kaya hindi ko ipagpapalit ang aming pagkikita sa kahit anumang opisyal na bagay.

Ang kaibigan namin na to ay ang tanging lalaki sa barkada namin. Nung kompleto pa kami sa opisina kung saan kami nagkakilala at nagkasama-sama, me mga pagkakataon na lumalabas kami at nagsasaya. Di maiwasan na minsan ay iinom kami at magkwekwentuhan ng mga buhay buhay. Tinatawag namin tong "over over". Dahil apat na babae kami, yun barkada namin na lalaki ang nagsisilbing "bodyguard" namin kahit siya pinakabata sa min. Pakiramdam kasi namin ang gaganda namin at kelangan ng proteksiyon. Me isang pagkakataon na ewan ko ba at nalasing ang mga babae at nagsuka pa ang dalawa sa amin (di ko sasabihin kung kasama ako dito sa nalasing at baka mapagalitan na naman ako eh nakalipas na naman yun). Itong barkada namin lalaki ang naglinis ng kinalatan namin. Ganyan ang role niya sa min: "protector", tagapakinig, minsan minsan nagbibigay payo na akala mo mas magaling pa siya sa min, komiko rin, tagakanta, tagasayaw, at marami pang iba.........Kaya di namin siya makakalimutan dahil sa malaking parte siya ng buhay namin. At parang nakakabatang kapatid ang turing namin lahat sa kanya. Paminsan minsan parang mas matanda pa siya sa min.

Marami ng nangyari sa buhay namin. Nagkapamilya na ang kaibigan namin at kami rin kung saan saan na napadpad sa daan ng buhay. Pero me mga samahan na di mo na makakalasan kahit ano pa mangyari. At kahit magkakalayo na kami, laging hahanap ng pagkakataaon para muling magkasama-sama at sariwain ang masayang nakaraan.

Have a safe trip back and keep in touch, my friend.

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Ika 22 ng Hulyo 2008

Another bad start. I had to be a little hard on my son for being irresponsible about school work. He was complaining and crying at the same time as I was scolding him. It's too much. He had exceeded his limits. His punishment is deprivation of gaming privileges during the weekend. He hates being scolded. He hates losing his gaming privileges. He also hates me right now. But sometimes, moms have to be hated to make their love work in a good way.

I don't like having a bad start. I certainly dislike scolding and hurting my son. But I guess some days are meant to be like that. This is one of those days. I had to leave early too. I slept during my travel on a too uncomfortable seat, actually the space between two seats, in a hot van. It's not smuggled, it was just hot. I arrived in my destination tired and soggy.

I am still thinking of my son. In fairness to him, he doesn't really have the heart to hate me permanently. He is reactive to any stimulus but is too sweet for strong negative emotions. Tomorrow, I hope the smoke has settled between us and we can go back to having a nice breakfast together.

PS: Mamayang tanghalian ay magkikita kita kaming magbabarkada sa isang resto dahil nandito ang isa namin kabarkada na sa Amerika na naninirahan kasama ng asawa niyang nurse at ng anak nila. Matagal na rin kaming walang komunikasyon sa kaibigan namin na to. Nagpapadala ako email sa kanya subali't panay forwarded lang. Wala na rin akong nakukuhang komunikasyon sa kanya. Kaya nagulat ako ng tumawag siya kahapon at binalitang nandito sila ng pamilya niya at niyaya kaming makipagkita bago sila umalis. Inaasahan kong magiging masaya ang aming pagkikita. Siguradong magkukuhanan kami ng litrato na ipopost sa aming mga multiply at iba pang personal sites.

Tinawagan din ako ng kaklase ko sa high school kani kanina lang na niyayaya din akong lumabas mamayang gabi kasama ang aming mga kaklase. Isa dito ay galing Australia. Gustong-gusto kong makipagkita subalit di pwede kasi me klase ako mamayang gabi.

Masayang okasyon tuwing nagkikita ang mga magkakaibigan na nagkalayo layo na. Me iba na patuloy pa rin ang komunikasyon at me iba rin na naputol na nang tuluyan. Ngunit pag bumibisita sila sa Pilipinas, hindi pwedeng di magkita kita. At kahit di alam minsan kung saan lupalot na hahagilapin ang kaibigan , ang teknolohiya ay nagsisilbing importanteng paraan upang matunton ang bawa't isa.

Isa sa matalik kong kaibigan na nasa Amerika na ngayon ay dati kong kamag-aral sa elementarya. Hindi kami magkaibigan noon subalit nang muling magtagpo ang landas namin sa pamamagitan ng isang website sa mga dating kaklase ay namuo ang isang pagkakaibigan.

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Ika 21 ng Hulyo 2008

It was a relatively peaceful morning for me. I slept well. I didn't have to deal with grumpiness. I wasn't harassed. There was a short queue at the terminal but the van arrived shortly. Everything fell into place until the dispatcher collected our fare which is now P70, an increase of P10. Could I still escape the wrath of inflation?

There was also a tiny bit of misfortune unearthed. Hubby scolded me for draining his car battery many months ago through a text message. He discovered it through one of my recent postings. It was his fault actually because he turned on his headlights and forgot to turn it off when he got off the car. I brought him to the airport at the break of dawn. The sun was up by the time I returned home. Sure, there was a chime that was warning me that I probably left something undone. I thought I was hearing angels telling me something. It wasn't my car. How am I supposed to know which sounds correspond with what!!!??? Besides, I solved the problem. I have gone into hiding and won't return home until hubby develops alzheimers.

To hubby, please take care of our kids. Be patient in dealing with their day-to-day quirks. Be gentle with them. Be careful not to warp their personalities in disciplining them to become responsible and caring human beings. I most especially appeal to you to be very careful in dealing with our son. Learn how to deal with his regular emotional outbreaks particularly in the morning. Make sure that the right amount of discipline and love are applied to ensure that he would turn out to be a well-rounded person like her mom. Always remind him about me.

The girls have their own peculiarities too which you have to discover little by little. You need to demonstrate love as you deal with these unpredictable and intense personality malfunctions appropriately. Please ensure that they will be able to reach their full potential at the right time.

Of course, you need to take care of the entire household including managing our helpers to ensure your, your mom, our kids, and other household members' survival as well as our various pets. Make sure that everything is efficiently run in accordance with our standards. Do not forget to inject values even as you attempt to run an efficient household. Don't encourage wasteful consumption. Teach all members of the household how to be smart in doing things around the house. Inculcate security-consciousness in everyone to keep our home safe from theft, accidents, fire, and other fortuitous events.

I think by now you know this is a tall order for a man with a regular job and with other social concerns and incapable of multitasking. You better forget about your car battery and beg me to come home tonight. I know you realize your mistake by now.

It's the start of the week. Monday is a most dreaded day. And I am here in my office hoping to make it through the week.

PS: Nung Biernes ay nagbus ako pauwi. Inapply na pala ang pagtaas ng pamasahe. Kaya yun binayad ko sa mga sinakyan ko ng araw na yun ay parang kasingmahal na rin ng pagsakay sa shuttle service. Dahil di pa nagtataas ang shuttle service non.

Napadaan pa ako sa mall dahil dun ako sumasakay ng jeep o tricycle pauwi bahay. Me mga karatulang "sale" na nung araw ay isang senyales sa kin para maging galante sa sarili ko at sa mga mahal ko sa buhay. Di ako umiiwas sa sale non at ginagawa kong rason para bumili ng kung ano ano kahit di ko kailangan. Me mga gamit ako na binili ko dahil "sale" at hindi ko nga nagamit kahit minsan. Karamihan ng binibili ko mga "branded".

Nagbago na rin ako sa pag-usad ng panahon. Ayoko na maging alipin ng materialismo. Naging responsable at maingat na ako sa pagpili at pagbili ng mga bagay. Hindi na tatak ang tinitignan ko kundi ang gamit nito sa buhay namin. Paminsan minsan bumibigay pa rin. Ito ay isang pagsubok araw-araw.

Subalit ngayon......... hindi lang dahil sa pagbabago kaya di ko na tinitignan ang "sale". Sadya yatang mahirap ang buhay. Nagkakagulo sa Haiti, Africa at iba't ibang parte ng mundo dahil sa kakulangan ng pagkain at taas ng presyo ng langis. Pati America nagrereklamo na at di na nila matustusan ang pamumuhay na kinasanayan nila.

San kaya tayo papunta?

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Ika 20 ng Hulyo 2008

Woke up late because it's brainchild's break and I just slept.

PS: Hindi pa rin ako makaiwas sa mga utos ng mga amo ko. Kahit puyat ako, kelangan mamalengke. Darating din ang kapatid ko at ang pamilya niya kaya kelangan magluto. Kinailangan din asikasuhin lahat ng aso ko at darating ang kanilang vet. Kailangan malinis na sila pagbigay ng ineksyon. Tanghalian na ng matapos ang vet sa mga aso. Naubos ang pera ko sa pagbabayad ng ineksiyon nila at ng nanay nila.

Kelan kaya magiging pahinga talaga ang weekend sa kin? HIndi na ako sumama sa mga amo ko sa mall na me bibilhin sabay hatid na rin sa sakayan sa kapatid ko. Mamaya ay manonood ako ng isa sa paborito kong programang CSI, yun NY at Miami lang. Di ko type ang Vegas. Back to back episode to na pinalabas na ng nakaraang linggo. Kadalasan ay nakakatulugan ko ito pag pinapalabas tuwing Martes at Merkules kaya pag linggo ko na lang pinapanood. Ayoko man isipin pero bukas ay simula na naman kumayod.....

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To Be 50 in this Wonderful World

Tonight, hubby, my middle daughter, and I attended the 50th birthday celebration of my neighbor, Captain Marlon Glarino, held at a cozy family diner in a nearby village. His wife told me that it was a surprise birthday party they had planned for him when she handed me the invitation. It was to be quite an ordeal to put up with the preparations and some of their friends nearly spilling the beans.

We arrived at the venue just in time. True enough in keeping with the secrecy of the event, the place was dark that we almost missed it if not for the celebrant's daughter who was waiting outside. Soon the celebrant came in, shocked but composed, to see his family, friends, neighbors, colleagues joining him on this special day. The party revealed a lot of things.

For one, I am certain now that he is older than me by............ never mind. Suffice it to say that in a few years I would be a golden girl myself.

Many of the invitees were actually part of the celebration itself. The program was casual but unforeseen glitches were quickly filled in by willing family members and friends providing impromptu entertainment. Songs and dances by immediate families delighted not only the celebrant but the other guests.

His children, Abby, Ako, Nikko, and Camille, were full of love for this jolly man whose deep voice fills an entire house. My friend, Mae, always the devoted wife, was pretty in her cocktail dress tonight for the love of her life is turning another leaf. His in-laws, Mamang and Papang who complete their household, had to push back their bedtime to be in this happy occassion.

His sisters, brothers, niece, nephews, grandnephews, grandnieces flew in from Bacolod and elsewhere. Neighbors had no problem joining them and some were part of the event management committee. Colleagues were there for him as well. Marlon was a picture of a man with his heart hanging out sometimes shedding tears of joy seeing his loved ones and friends on this special day.

His family prepared well. Young and old, they performed with gusto for the man they love. I was an engaged spectator lost in my thoughts as I watched his family and some friends danced and sing for him, paise him for being a great person to those he love.

I was thinking as I see his children stand by him all these years when they are all grown up, what a good father this man is. I have seen these kids grow right before my eyes. With the kind of society we have, their family is a rarity. Marlon and Mae have done a good job. Carry on, Captain and Co-captain.

This love extends to his brothers and sisters and their families. I couldn't help but notice how closely knit their family is to this day when siblings fight over properties and power. Some killing each other for greed. His family is truly refreshing as they demonstrate a sweet and sincere love only demonstrated by siblings raised in a loving home.

Our families have been intertwined for the past 16 or so years. We saw each other through sunny days and the storms of life. What I like about them is that they care for us in a non-intrusive way and respect our privacy. We hardly talk to each other because of so many preoccupations. Yet, we manage to stay tuned to each other. New Year's Day, the eve particularly, has been a tradition as our families toast to a brand new year every year since I can recall. We missed them last year as they had to spend the holiday in Bacolod. New Year's eve was not the same without our neighbors. Our new year's toast is exclusive only to the Glarinos.

I remember too well how their family welcomed us into their home one New Year's eve two years back. We just moved back into our home a few days before Christmas after we vacated it to be reconstructed. Our stuff were all over the place as construction was still ongoing. For more than a week, we had to eat at the mall daily. My children were complaining as they miss home cooking. Christmas time, we had noche buena at Jollibee, being the only open resto. It really, really felt so weird...... So on that New Year's eve, we were ready to retire once the last of the firecrackers was heard. Then, they were calling us back to join them in their media noche. We were embarassed but they were too gracious. For the first time that holiday season, I, maybe we, felt the spirit of Christmas in the home of our neighbor.

In many instances, the celebrant and his family would give real meaning to the word 'neighbor'. They are there when you need them. I recall two experiences on how Marlon had been virtually our knight in shining armor.

In one devastating typhoon, the cotton tree at the side of our house split and one half was swaying ferociously, threatening to fall on our home and the electric cables. Hubby was not home. I called for help. The electric utility people could not immediately come to the rescue. My son was asking if rescue was coming. It did..... in Marlon and his son, Ako. He sent his son up the tree to tie it together. He was at the bottom all wet taking charge of the situation without regard for their own safety. They got us safe through a dark stormy night.

There was a time when the risk was not as great as it would simply be to deal with a husband's rage. After bringing hubby to airport at dawn, I took the wheel. I didn't realize that the light was on and forgot it as I parked the car outside our garage as the sun had risen. I left for office shortly. By nighttime, my daughter informed me that the car headlights were on,,,,,drats, I could see hubby's ears spewing smoke. I told her to turn it off. When I arrived, I tried to start the car but the battery was drained. I needed a car the following day. Hubby's car has automatic transmission and I parked it right in front of the other car. My luck perhaps that I couldn't use any of these cars. Marlon and Ako happened to pass by as they were driving home and I was checking out the car a little bit panicky. Of course, he was my only hope and I had to ask for help. He was visibly tired. He asked and gave instructions to Ako on what to do but was back minutes later to oversee the work. We didn't have proper equipment so he suggested getting a car mechanic to work on it. He sent Ako to get the mechanic. The mechanic expectedly was able to make the battery work. Again, my neighbor saved me from the perils of a raging husband who does not have any idea up to now that his battery got drained then. When hubby inquired about his radio getting reset once he got back, I pretended not to hear him (PS: Tito Marlon, I might need you again).

From the man himself, he is the ever reliable neighbor to everyone in the community. He is our emcee for our programs. He can be a singer or maybe even a dancer if the need arises. He couldn't stop singing, though, when given the mike. So please cut off the videoke from the outlet. He is our lecter-commentator, bible bearer, a potential altar boy for our Sunday masses. He is the ambulance for emergencies. He is your all-around and ever reliable neighbor who will be there for you when you need him. Our small community will not be complete without him.

When the floor was given to him for his birthday message, I was not surprise at all when he said that on the day of his birthday which is July 12, he and his crew were helping flood victims in Iloilo get on with their lives. I guess it won't be him if he did not do that.

At some point in the party, he sang with his brothers.....


I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you................

..........The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying "How do you do."
Thay really say: "I love you!"

......I hear babies crying I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
...........Yes, I think to myself:
"What a wonderful world!"

I think God blest me to have a neighbor like them. And as the song goes...... "What a wonderful world". It truly is in the small community we call home.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOLDEN BOY!

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Ika 19 ng Hulyo 2008

Brainchild's break I hope.

Well not exactly..... I had to do errands in the morning as follows:

1. dog registration
2. get our rice at my office
3. grocery

In the evening, we heard mass. There was some activities and a lot of youths were present....which was quite a surprise. We would know that the World Youth Day is being celebrated today in Sydney, Australia. The priest said that we were actually interlinked with them.

I remember we had the same celebration here in Manila when Pope John Paul visited in 1995. The song stills rings in my ears......

.....Let us tell the world of his love
The greatest love the world has known
Search the world for those who have walk
Astray and lead them home.......

We were watching the proceedings on TV and I even took pictures of my two young daughters, then 5 and 2, while Pope John Paul was on the screen. The event would probably be one of the most well-received by our Filipino Catholics. I felt the air of holiness so strongly just watching the proceedings on TV.

After mass, we headed for a friend's birthday party. So I am gonna party tonight.

PS: Kahit sabado kapansin pansin na maluwag ang kalye. Talaga sigurong marami ng Pinoy and di na gumagamit ng kanilang sasakyan sa mahal ng gasolina. Di ko na mga tinitignan minsan ang presyo. Gaya kanina yun anak ko na lang ang pumuna. ang huli kong karga ng gasolina ay mga dalawang linggo na nakakaraan. Ang sasakyan ko na tuwing weekend ko lang ginagamit, parang ayaw ko na rin gamitin. Kaya pag lumalakad gusto ko gawin na lahat ng gagawin sa madaraanan at sayang ang gasolina.

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The Diary

I dread opening and reading the diary…….. my son’s diary that is.

In elementary school, the student’s diary is an all-powerful tool that serves as the assignment, reminder, miscellaneous notebook and communication channel between parents and teachers. Its use depends on the kind of student your daughter or your son is. It can mainly be an assignment or reminder notebook for a conscientious student. Parent’s intrusion would be very minimal if not downright perfunctory. Such was the case with my two girls and we hardly matter except for signing privileges to acknowledge certain information or evidence that we read and understood the entry.

My son’s case is different. More often, the diary was a testimony to various lapses he had in school as described and ascribed to by his teacher adviser. It was to serve as our reference in monitoring his performance and behavior in school. I have not seen so many writings by a teacher in a diary in my past experiences with my two girls. When something was written on the girls’ diaries, it was usually a source of pride and joy.

There was a time we took it all hook, line, and sinker to preserve my son. It was a low point in our lives. One teacher had to write very forcibly on my son’s diary that one can feel her anger with the deep creases created by her note about my son’s fight with another student adding that the boy whom my son had a fight with is a quiet boy. She was therefore presuming innocence of the boy. I couldn’t describe the anger for the teacher I felt then but I pitied my son more for being unfairly penalized because he was different from the others. This difference would make him the initiator or the guilty one in any fight. According to him, he didn’t start it but that was immaterial. His teacher acted as a trial attorney and a biased judge who declared my son guilty and meted his penalty in one swoop.

But hold it…….. I just couldn’t take such injustice sitting down. Risking my son’s continued stay in that school and my own being a part-time professor there that time, I had to fight for him for the first time. There would be more battles after that first time. Each time, I would be weary but stronger in my resolve to fight for him. Eventually, he would be dealt with one of his biggest blows as a child by being unceremoniously kicked out of that school for being different…….not due to any offense that would merit expulsion but a paranoid fear for other students’ ‘safety’ and things they think that a nine-year old might do……so they say. Or was it just unwillingness on the part of some teachers to get out of their comfort zones to deal with a ‘different’ child? We had no inkling it would happen. The school authorities did not care how my son would deal with it. He told me he tried his best to behave to fit their norms and to please me. We were both crying in the car as we learned about the decision and school authorities would refuse our request for an audience.

In hindsight, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise with the realization of the adverse effect on him of his continued stay in that school. Why would we undeservedly harm our beautiful son by insisting that he stay with vultures and crocodiles? A school that treats a kid like that is damned as it failed to accomplish what it was supposed to do……. to teach young minds to become good, compassionate, and responsible persons. It failed bigtime. I kept all correspondence and notes on this event as a reminder of the crime they committed against my son and how we tried even if it was futile to protect him.

He transferred school but we still cannot evade the diary. Many of the bad news reached us through the diary. I hate opening the diary and glancing at long notes particularly when these are report on bad behavior. I have the unenviable task of extracting both good and bad news and relaying it to all concerned family members. Everyday is a mystery waiting to unfold but we learned to take things in stride. The school requires that all entries are signed by parents. We should be cooperative for the sake of my son. Just as his homework are written in the diary, my homework is to read it, make sure what’s asked is done, and seal it with my signature.

Some happy moments like an improvement in his performance or being cooperative and attentive or containing his anger are written by his teachers as well. …….small but sweet victories that come rarely. His participation in a science contest in his old school; his being cast as a Royal Guard for their school play “Cinderella”; his club activities as well as other school activities were relayed to us through the diary…………pleasant entries which serve as a silver lining on a dark sky.

Lately, I have used the power of the diary to assert my motherhood and appeal for greater patience and understanding from his mentors.

I keep all of my children’s diaries in our storage cabinet. These diaries are good memorabilia comes homecoming time. They serve to remind us of past failures and glories. The diary has so much valuable information on love, devotion, trial, triumphs, failures, and hope. While the diaries are my girls’ memento of their achievements, it is my son’s treasure box of experiences. Thanks to these experiences, my son is a sweet and caring young man with a deep love for his family, relatives, friends, pets, and even stray animals.

My son’s diary will always be a testament to how a mother dealt with their struggles and fought hard for him at a time when the going was rough. The writings in his diary will be preserved forever in my heart.

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Ika 18 ng Hulyo 2008

This is the day that the Philippines will have a mega earthquake according to a South American seer.

Can this explain why my son was grumpy again when I woke him up this cool morning? I left him and went back to my room. Moments later he went downstairs. Since the table was set when I came down, I told him to have breakfast. He was still in a fighting mood and would resist. I told him I would smack him if he doesn't stop acting up. Of course, I won't and I can't. He answered back that he would smack me too. Now, that deserves smacking, right? I didn't mind him and in a while he was his fine self eating his breakfast. He would stop awhile and play with his current favorite puppy, Toby. I would tell him to hurry up.

Soon everyone was out of the house. I wanted to leave early but there's a gazillion things to do. With the rains the past days, the house and surroundings look a bit scruffy and I want some things done right. There's a game of cat and mouse you have with helpers and I have grown tired of inculcating responsibility among them. When the cat goes out the door, the mice would simply rest and play. I might as well do it or at least be there to oversee. The sun was shining today and the house and our stuff need a good sun exposure to get the muggy look and smell out.

My short role reversal at home caused me to miss the last van at the terminal. They were all gone so early. A lot of people must be feeling lazy and decided to take a break. I was forced to take a bus at Alabang. Seated by the window with the curtain drawn, I was claustrophobic and had to pull back the grey, errrrrrrrr green curtain. A group of hawkers taking a break came into view as the bus was filling up with passengers. Soon, the bus departed. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't as I wasn't very comfortable with the guy beside me. Pardon my prejudice but I have loads of experience in commuting and you just can't trust anybody. It's not just thieves, there are muggers, maniacs, and all sorts of crazy people all around us. One can never be too cautious.

I tried to relax during the trip but there is this loud blare of the radio with a noisy DJ talking nonsense, reminiscent of my jeepney-riding days in college. I hate these radio stations where DJs talk more than play music. When he played his music, I thought that maybe he should just continue talking. He played this Taglish adaptation of a pop song. I don't like the original and I hate the adaptation. My internal iPod can't simply drown out the noise. I had to endure this. There were a couple of songs played till I reach my destination. Good thing, the trip was fast.

I came to the office with a big headache. Maybe, I need a good shake after all. We have been assured that no one can predict an earthquake but there's nothing wrong with seeking God's protection all the time. Perhaps, we all need that today and always.

PS: Nung isang linggo nagpunta ako sa bangko bandang alas tres ng hapon. Pagbalik ko opisina, tamang tama na meryenda na rin kaya bumili ako ng turon sa jolijeep. And jolijeep ay mga maliliit na tindahan ng murang pagkain na gawa sa stainless steel na nasa mga side street at mga di gaanong magulong lugar sa Makati. Masaya na ako sa meryenda ko at bumalik na ako opisina.

Nang malapit na ako sa opisina ay me nadaanan akong isang magpuputo na nagbebenta sa isang babae. Ito yun nakalagay sa mga latang lalagyan na nilalako sa tin nung mga bata tayo katulad ng taho. Nakita ko na pinapahiran na ng gatas na kinaramelized yun puto. Bagama't me meryenda na ako, di ko napigilan ang sarili ko na bumili ng puto sa mama magpuputo. Pagkuha ko ng puto sa mama, nakita ko ang kukong hinlalaki niya na sobrang haba...... mga isa't kalahating pulgada siguro ang haba. Pero sa sobrang kasabikan ko sa puto di ko na pinansin to. Bumalik ako sa opisina na parang nakakita ng ginto sa paanan ng bahaghari.

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Ika 17 ng Hulyo 2008

I had to spend a few minutes regaining my composure before I left home for work. Rachel Ray was on while I was preparing for work and I found myself in tears in one of its segment. I have always prided myself into thinking that I am not melancholic and will not cry over corny, mindless TV dramas or soap operas. I have always been known as a no-nonsense "astig" or a toughie. I was able to hold the tears in my younger age. But lately, I don't know what has been eating me up that I cry even over romantic comedies.

What made me cry today is a guy named Joey who took the unimaginable choice of taking care of the three children of his twin sister gone wrong whose kids were taken by social services and were about to be put in a foster home. He fought a bitter custody battle when he was barely out of his teens and got the kids when he was 20. He is 24 now and a medical intern with hardly enough money to keep his brood of three children live on a day-to-day basis and support his studies. What he gained is the understanding and support of three bestfriends who have been helping him rear these children. Most importantly, he earned the unconditional love of the children who look to him not as their uncle but their father. I couldn't help but cry watching as one of the children cried as he was leaving for work leaving them to the care of his friend. He hugged the child like a good dad would do to a beloved son.

I didn't mind that I spent some extra minutes watching a great person and the lovable people around him. I didn't mind that I cried over this real life drama. I didn't mind that I have a runny nose leaving my home. I mind that many of our young ones today have been wasting their time, their lives with their meaningless existence. I mind how obsessed we have become with material acquisition that we tend to overlook what matters like family and friends. I dread the world that my children will inherit with our selfish ways and motives. I am full of hope that they will be able to rise above their limitations to help make ours a better world.

I have always admired people who lived life with a purpose. These people think beyond themselves and selflessly give love in the most ordinary way. As Joey said " ..........I still don't believe that I'm doing anything big. I'm doing what I have to do for my family." Rachel together with pal, Valerie Bertinelli, the 70s girl next door star who was once married to rocker Eddie Van Halen, played virtual fairy godmother to Joey. He deserves all these gifts. But I think all these gifts pale in comparison to the priceless gift of untarnished and unrelenting love he gets from his children.

Today, I didn't mind being late for work because I was reacquianted with what matters most in life.

PS: Matagal tagal na rin akong commuter at maraming klaseng drivers na rin akong nasakyan. Mapapansin natin na madalas di marunong umintindi ng batas trapiko ang mga pampublikong drivers. Kaya madalas na di nila sinusunod ang mga batas trapiko. Karamihan sa mga ito ay natutong magmaneho sa tulong ng tatay o kaibigan nila na isa ring driver.

Me mga pagkakataong na nakasakay ako sa mga drivers na bihasa sa pagcut sa mga kapwa drivers at pagsingit singit sa mga sasakyan na maraanan na parang me hinahabol na magnanakaw. Minsan nasa harap ako na sakay ng isang FX na ang driver ay ganito magmaneho. Sa istilo pa ng pagmamaneho niya ay parang di siya masyadong natrain ng tatay niya. Kaya pagsingit niya ay napapapreno din ako sa pwesto ko habang nakikita ko ang mga bus at jeep na halos sumalpok sa kanyang sasakyan.

Minsan din bigla na lang ihihinto ang sasakyan nila kahit saan para sumagot sa tawag ng kalikasan. Yun nasakyan kong tricycle kanina, bigla na lang huminto ng walang sabi sabi at nawala ang driver. Nagtago sa likod ng isang nakaparadang sasakyan at yun dun ibinuhos ang kanyang saloobin. Marami ring jeepney drivers na ganyan. Minsan di mo rin masisi. Kokonti lang kasi ang mga pampublikong palikuran at me mga lugar na wala pa.

Ang mga bus nman ay parang mga kabayong pangarera sa kahabaan ng ating mga highway. Pag kuha o pagrenew ng driver's license, me drug test na isinasagawa. Naiisip ko pano kaya nalulusutan ito ng ibang pampublikong drivers. Minsan mamula mula pa ang mata habang nagmamaneho.

Hay naku, kelan kaya tayo madidisiplina sa ating mga kalye.

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Ika 16 ng Hulyo 2008

Why does a rainy day feel like a drag? My nice comfy bed beckoned me back to its irresistible charm...... I almost wrapped myself under its spell but quickly realized my son failed to do his homework in Math again. And suddenly, I was all awake with a big headache.

Rousing my son from sleep, I tried patience and told him to do his homework in Math while I fixed the bed explaining to him the concept of exponents and how to perform division of exponential numbers. Do you know? Then, we can probably join "Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader" and reach the million dollar question. I was also scolding him on not telling his sister that he needs art materials for his classes so we could have bought these the previous night. Haughtily, he told me, "Why when is art ba?.... Tomorrow pa ang art no". Like I should know....huh. Hubby was amused as he witnessed my face-losing moment with our son.

He wasn't quite done with his homework when we went down for breakfast. I told him to finish the work first before we eat. I was feeding the puppies as I was scolding him loudly because he couldn't get my instructions. He was protesting my shouting at him. Realizing my mistake, I said "I'm sorry". I grabbed patience once more and explained for the nth time what he was supposed to do. When he finished most items, I told him to have his breakfast already.

He took his bath after breakfast. After dressing up, I told him to go down and finish his work. His school bus came shortly. My middle daughter and hubby left earlier. My eldest daughter who came home last night from her dorm will leave later for her afternoon classes.

I left later than my usual time. When I arrived at the terminal, I was surprised that there was a long queue at the terminal. It was raining and traffic must be bad. I heard that only two vans were returning. I made sure that I would be riding these vans and counted the passengers. I was rider number 18. 'I'm safe'............ I felt like a contestant on AI being sent to the bench, not the stool. About an hour passed until the first van arrived. It was a small van and I would not make it here. My legs were weary from standing. The other passengers were just as restless. Finally, salvation arrived. I slept the entire trip. By the time we reached our destination, I decided to delay going to the office and do all my errands and have lunch with a friend.

I went to the bank to pay my credit card. When I arrived, there were three people in line. I filled up a form and when I reached the line, there were about ten persons already and only one counter. Waiting time again...... it was snail pace. I couldn't help but see that the guy in front of me would have multiple transactions. The bank manager decided to assign another teller to receive bills payment.... Thank God. It's about time. As we were lined up, the other counters were vacant and nobody took the initiative of easing up the line until the manager stepped in.

After paying my bill, I went to another bank to deposit a check, the fruit of my labor, my first pay check for my new teaching job. When I arrived, there were only two people in line with two counters servicing. I filled up a deposit slip and by the time I got to the line, I'm client number five. The first two clients had fast transactions. The two other clients ahead of me took time as they had multiple transactions. I was like an anxious kid waiting for my turn alternately seeing who finishes ahead of the other. Finally, I was called by the teller.

With my legs stressed out from all the queuing I did, I called my friend to meet me at a Chicken Inasal resto. We had a nice chicken lunch and enjoyed catching up. After lunch, we parted ways. Since my legs have been so numbed, I thought that maybe I should just go all the way and walk to go to my office which is a block away. That way, I would have a complete leg work-out...........and I did just that.

PS: Napanood niyo ba ang pagtatanggol ni Kris Aquino sa asawang si James Yap sa pagsipa ke Terrence Leather? Ito ang balitang showbiz ng masakay ako sa bus nito lang linggong ito. Sabi ni Kris sa basketball daw, ang maging physical na pwedeng tawaging rough play ay natural lang at parte ng isang laro na malapit ang scores ng magkatunggali. Kung naaalala niyo ang mga Toyota-Crispa match nung araw, marami mga ganitong pangyayari. Si Jaworski ay isang basketball legend na aking hinangaan ay lagi nasasangkot sa ganito. Ang katwiran niya, pisikal siya at kaya rin niyang tumanggap ng mga pisikal na laro. Gusto kong klaruhin na tagahanga ako ni Jaworski bilang basketball player at hindi bilang isang senador kung saan naging parang legend na lang din siya.

Sa laro ng Purefoods at Talk n Text, nagkaron ng rough play si Leather at Jonjon Salvador, na kasama ni Yap sa team, na nagresulta ng gulo kung saan binato ng bola ni Leather si Salvador. Dahil dito, sinipa ni James si Leather na ikinagalit nito. Kung kaya't si James ang binalingan at hinabol sa korte. Siyanga pala, ang bilis tumakbo ni James kaya di ito lumampas sa pansin ng mga namamahala sa larangan ng track and field.

Sa dami ng mga pumuna rito, nanghingi ng patawad si James Yap pagkatapos patawan ito ng parusa ng mga opisyal ng basketball. Pero di natapos diyan ang kwento. Dugtong pa sa sinabi ni Kris Aquino na sa basketball daw natural lang maging pisikal, si James daw bilang 'pinakasikat' na player ay biktima ng mga maling tawag at paghuhusga. Ano raw? Ms. Kris Aquino, ang mali ay mali kahit pagbali baligtarin mo. Wag mo sanang gamitin ang celebrity status mo para ipagtanggol ang kamalian. Mabuti pa si James at nagpakumbaba na sa pagkakamali. Hindi mo na sana dinugtungan ng pagkairreverent mo para namatay na lang ang issue.

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Ika 15 ng Hulyo 2008

This looked like a regular day to me. I thought I slept well. I didn't have the feeling of hangover I have on some days for lack of sleep. Come to think of it, I have not had a full eight hour sleep for a looooooooooong time. That seem like a good wish to have on any given night. Wake up..........it's not going to happen soon. I get an average of five hours on a good night. They say that as you grow old you need less hours of sleep...... You need? or is it more like you can afford only few hours of sleep. So age must be creeping on me. I need to find a way to sleep more.

Two days in a row not counting last week's, my son woke up without whining........which is rather unusual. Has he done something wrong? When we came down, breakfast is not yet ready. I went over his stuff because I forgot to do this the previous night. I wonder when he will be able to prepare his stuff by himself. His sisters have been openly complaining why I should do this for him when they were preparing their stuffs at a much earlier age. These girls' rants in the morning can be a source of headache. I often wonder as well why my pre-teen son is not as responsible as his sisters. But good parenting does not allow us to compare our kids. Each one should be treated as a unique individual. So here I was checking his diary and arranging books and notebooks that should be brought to school today. I would gently remind him though to be more responsible.

When everybody's gone, I quickly took a shower and dressed up. I picked an attire that would work well for my school later. There is a certain way I'd like to dress up when I have classes.....not exactly power dressing. It shouldn't be too flashy to distract nor too drab that I would blend with the wall. It should have just the right punch to deliver your message across and not come out as a trying hard copycat of a runway model. I chose this modern chinese styled short sleeve printed blouse over a pair of burgundy slacks. Since the weather has not cleared up, I brought a short denim trench coat to go with my outfit. Off I went......

What do you know..... I couldn't avoid Mr. RV Driver this time. With an imaginary lighted bulb in my mind, I knew that he will once again be mentioned in today's post. I read my module for my classes tonight and fell asleep midway through it. I woke up as we were entering Makati as Mr. RV Driver was warning passengers that traffic enforcers are swarming the place. He singled out my destination when they were all over the place. I couldn't care less. To my mind, he would deliver me where I was supposed to get off. I continued my reading. Luckily for him, the situation eased up but after he put us through a different route and got caught in a bottleneck in Amorsolo. So my expectation for a relaxed pace going to my office was crushed under Mr. RV Driver's wheels as I clocked in at 9:43 am.


PS: Sumakay ako sa jeep na huling sakay ko bago makarating sa opisina. Kaagad akong nagbayad ke Manong Driver. Pag balik niya ng sukli ay napansin ko ang madumi nyang kuko, kamay na nadikit sa palad ko. Swerte ko naman talaga. Di ko na rin napigil tignan ang buo niyang pagkatao na mukang kakabangon lang sa higaan na di man lang nagsuklay at dali daling sinuot ang uniporme nilang asul na di man lang naplantsa. Medyo me distancia rin ako sa kanya kaya di ko naman siya naamoy. Mabuti na lang.

Di ba me ordinansa si Bayani na bawal ang mga me BBB sa mga drivers at konduktor. Ang BBB ay bad breath, BO o body odor, at baho in general. Sana ay ipagbawal na rin ang gusgusing itsura. Kaming mga pasahero ay naglilinis ng katawan kaya sana bilang mga drivers at kundoktor na naghahatid sa min ay maisip din nila na maganda rin na maging malinis sila sa katawan di lamang sa min o para sa sarili ngunit higit dahil ginawa naman tayong malinis ng Diyos.

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Ika 14 ng Hulyo 2008

I was so lazy to get up. My whole being was being lured to stay curled up under the sheet on this rainy morning. I had to wake up at 3:00am to check if all windows are closed as our bedroom floors can easily be ruined by water. I dragged myself into doing my 10-minute workout for the not so serious fitness buff falling asleep in between each count. The routine consists of sit-ups, upper body lifts and a facial exercise I got from a Chinoy friend who told me that the 1 – minute routine is responsible for Chinese in mainland China not needing eyeglasses. Schools in China make students do the facial exercise daily. I instantly subscribed to the routine the moment I heard about the Chinese phenomenon. The sit ups and lift ups have been part of my routine for a long time. With the facial exercise, I have a complete body work-out or so it seems. I’ve seen myself in better shape though. A friend, a reader of my blog, has been convincing me to go to the gym but I always find an excuse. Truth is I’m so lazy to do work-outs. So my early morning work-outs plus my daily walk comprise my modest fitness regimen. I also play badminton but have not done so for a long time. As for the vaunted facial massage, err exercise, I do need reading glasses but I can still read what I am typing right now using font 11 without any glasses. Given the efficacy of my self-developed work-out, I can’t miss it for anything lest somebody’s looking.

My son needed no coaxing nor threat when I went to his bedroom to wake him up. He easily rolled out of bed and went downstairs for our breakfast. I also gave the puppies fresh milk as they started barking in their little voices the moment they saw me. I fixed my son’s plate and went on to have breakfast. Everyone was rushing. My eldest daughter is calling to her Dad to hurry up so he can drop her at the bus terminal to make it to her 7:00am class. Mondays mornings are my Achilles’ heels as everything is cumbersome. I couldn’t leave the house without a barrage of instructions to my helpers.

I left the house after much struggling with my lazy self. I took the shuttle service and sat between the driver and another passenger. Intending to read my lecture for tomorrow’s class, my better self gave way to laziness and I found myself dousing off with the cool air blowing on my face as I was going through the difference between a flexible and fixed exchange rates. I wanted the ride to last a little longer but here I was at my destination ready to face another day.

PS: Nung biernes habang nakasakay kami ng anak ko sa bus papauwi, napansin ko ang isang banyaga na nakatayo na tila wala sa sarili na nakikipagtalo sa isang pasahero. Nung tignan ko kung kanino nakatuon ang pansin niya ay me isang bata na mga 2 taong gulang na nagsasalita at medyo naglilikot na nakatayo sa hita ng kanyang tatay. Ito ang kaaway ng banyaga.

Sa pagusad ng byahe, nanahimik sandali ang banyaga hanggang sa makaupo ito. Unang una niyang ginawa ay ang buksan ang vent ng aircon na padabog. Isinara ito ng babae na nasa tapat ng aircon. Binuksan ulit ng banyaga at isinara ulit ng babae. Sumesenyas ang banyaga na mainit. Kaming mga nasa bus ay nalalamigan. Mga dalawang beses pa nangyari ang ganitong eksena. Huminto na ang babae sa pagsara ng vent ng aircon at wala naman ibang nakialam. Pasalamat ang banyagang ito at di ako ang katabi niya at makakarinig siya sa kin.

Nakakataka lang na likas sa tin mga Pilipino ang magtiis na lang sa ganitong mga pagkakataon kahit sa bansa natin. Pinoy tayo kaya giniginaw tayo sa konting ulan o lamig. Banyaga siya kaya kelangan makibagay siya. Ganon din naman tayo pag nasa ibang bansa, nagtitits at nagtitiyagang makibagay.

Naalala ko ang karanasan ko sa isang sikat na service center ng electronic appliances sa me Alabang. Pagkapasok ko pinakuha ako ng number at pinaupo para hintayin ang customer representative na magiging libre. Maya maya ay dumating ang isang banyaga at ng binibigyan ng number, sinabi na “I don’t have time to wait” at dire direcho sa counter. Sa puntong ito, naging mapagmasid na ako at tinitignan ko ang gagawin ng mga taga service center na yon. Nagulat ako ng asikasuhin ng kanilang customer service. Dahil di ko pinapalagpas ang ganitong pangyayari, tumayo ako at sinabing wala rin akong oras maghintay na pinarinig ko sa bantaga. Dahil ayaw ng mga ito ng gulo, napilitan silang harapin na rin ako na di tama para sa ibang naghihintay. Sinabihan ko ang babaeng nagasikaso sa kin na di tama yun ginawa nila. Kaya trinatrato tayong ganyan ay dahil di nila kayang ipatupag ang patakaran sa mga banyagang ganito na patuloy tayong inaabuso. Gaya sa bus, pinabayaan lang ang banyaga na makuha ang gusto niya ng wala tayong kalaban laban.

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Ika 13 ng Hulyo 2008

Brainchild's break, I wish.

PS: Dahil masakit ang katawan ko at pinandigan ko ang aking panatang linisin ang banyo ko, tanghali na ako nagising. Pagkatapos ng almusal ay sinama na ako ng amo kong lalaki para mamalengke. Dahil sa tanghali na ay halos wala na mabili sa palengke kaya kung ano ano na lang nadampot ko.

Hindi pa rin ako makakapahinga at nagpaligo kami ng mga aso namin na sa ngayon at me bilang na siyam. Pag weekend, parang nagpapaspa ang mga aso namin at kompleto serbisyo. sa garden namin pinaliguan. Nagbabadya ang ulan kaya medyo naging mabilisan ang ginawa namin pagpapaligo at baka magkasakit ang mga aso.

At dahil di pa ako nakakabawi, nadagdagan lalo ang sakit ng katawan ko. Siguradong tinatamad na naman ako pumasok sa mahal kong trabaho bukas.

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Ika 12 ng Hulyo 2008

Brainchild's break but not so.

PS: Sarap sana magpahinga pero kelangan linisin na ang banyo ko. Dapat nung isang linggo kaso me party nga kami. Di naman talaga marumi ang banyo ko dahil araw araw ay pinupunasan ko naman pagkatapos gamitin. Subali't kinaugalian ko na linisin ito tuwing ikalawang linggo. Gusto ko kasi ang amoy ng bagong linis na banyo. Yun ibang banyo ay nililinis ng aming kasambahay pero pinili ko na ako na maglinis ng sari kong banyo dahil ako'y isang OC........

Inumpisahan ko sa pagbababad sa chlorox sa umaga at pagkuskos sa tub. Pinuno ko ng tubig ang tub. Pagkatapos magtanghalian ay pilit kong minotivate ang sarili kong gawin ang nakakatamad na gawain. Kinuskos ko ng sabon ang mga tiles, lababo, toilet bowl. Naligo na ako pagkatapos at nagbabad sandali sa tub. Yun ginamit na tubig sa tub ang ginamit kong pambanlaw sa banyo. At natapos na rin ang nakakatamad na gawain. Ito pala ay isa rin tip para makatipid sa tubig.

Kinagabihan ay ang sakit ng katawan ko.

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