Graduating with Honor

My son's graduation is unlike any other hubby and I have been used to. In ED's graduation from HS, hubby and I have seats reserved for parents of students with honors. A monoblock chair never felt so good. MD's graduation from elementary would have been capped with honors if not for the dirty politics played by some teachers and their guidance office. She managed to land being on the top 16 of the graduating class with the top 15 being the last of the honor's lot. Before that unfortunate last year in elementary, she was a consistent academic and conduct awardee. She more than made up for that 'not so good' finish in elementary. Barring any similar untoward incident is almost assured of an honor spot comes graduation next school year. She is in the top 6 slot of the juniors. In contrast to my girls' achievement in school, we didn't have any expectations as to my son's academic performance. We would jokingly asked him if he has an honor. He would shyly say, "lots....... my honor". I couldn't agree more.

His school is not big. There were about 50 graduating elementary students and roughly 70 or so high school students. My son's class would produce the batch's first honor and third honor (I think). I wasn't paying too much attention as I was focused on my son the entire time.

Let's review my son's performance in the school the past three years. He was in grade four when he first entered that school as part of the resource class with regular exposure to regular class. The same program was given to him in grade five but he was attending regular classes in all subjects. In grade six, he was fully mainstreamed in the regular class. In all years, there will be difficulty in adjustment the first few months but he would cope. All those years, he would mostly do his homework by himself with some supervision until the middle of the term. Towards the end, he would be more independent. In his last year, he demonstrated autonomy in many aspects of his student life. As to academics, his learning is selective. He was good in subjects he likes like science and civics. He refused to exert effort on subjects he loathes like math and Filipino. All the other subjects would fall in between. He would show varied interests in his art subject depending on the project. On the behavioral aspect, vast improvement was detected for him to be mainstreamed in the last year. From the tantrum throwing boy when he entered school, he had learned how to moderate his own behavior and would know how to give and take, wait for his turn, learn how to control and restrain himself in appropriate circumstances, learn to adapt to the more demanding environment of his higher level class, and learn to belong. As he is learning all these behavioral modifications on his own, he must be struggling with the physical development he is undergoing as well. I, his sisters, or our female helpers can no longer enter his bathroom or bedroom when he is dressing up.

As they sang their graduation song, I surged ahead along with a throng of parents jockeying for position to take a picture-perfect shot. He would play to the camera and pose for me..... I was delighted. In the blink of an eye, I would see him wrestling arms with a classmate.... soon, they were at each other .... and I was at a distance, helpless. The exit would break them up somehow but their was still the peril of a real fight erupting.... and I tried hard to get near. I asked him what the fight was all about. He would demonstrate that his classmate twisted his arm. By the time they were back to their seats, he would eye his classmates. In a while, he couldn't contain his emotion and he would break down and cry quietly. His other classmates would be disheartened. I sat in front of him, trying to pacify him and hurting inside. I was also on the verge of tears. I couldn't meddle in a children's fight specially because it involves my own. His adviser told me it's alright, he'll cool down in a while..... He was still sore for sometime. I stayed close until the end of the ceremony...... just in case.

As the ceremony neared its end, his mood would somehow changed. At the end of the ceremony, he tossed his cap into the air..... only not being able to locate where it landed and he would look around and smile at me as if asking where it fell. A teacher would come to the rescue telling him where it landed and even offered assistance in getting the cap. His mood has completely changed by this time.

As his adviser called their class to come to the stage for a graduation picture, I was wary about him being near his classmate he had an altercation earlier. The mother instinct in me tried to be close in case another incident happen. There were instances, he might somehow try to get even....... but to his credit, he just avoided his classmate and posed with the rest of the class for me to take for his picture perfect shot.

In retrospect, my son's progress is more phenomenal compared to the norm..... Because inspite of the odds, he finished his elementary not with flying colors but with the dignity of learning how to live with honor. In the car, on the way home to fetch his granny for his graduation dinner, he would proudly tell me, "I told you I would graduate from elementary." I retorted, "now you have to do it again in high school". To this, he would nod in deep thought........