Ika 11 ng Mayo 2009: Send Off

Time flies so fast........ as plans become reality. I recall how my brother would tell us about their plan to go somewhere. We would tease about him being unable to do so because he can't leave me. This went on for a while. I never took him seriously. Seasons changed and the plan remained the same..... until about a few months back. His plan became more concrete. He was scouting for a travel agency. Then, he bought their tickets.... A few weeks back, he started buying pasalubong for family and loved ones where they are headed for..... Yesterday, we had his send off party in our home..... Tomorrow is the realization of his plan, his dreams, his aspirations....

Just like the many people who mattered in my life who left to pursue their dreams or for their eternal journey, he is giving me another life-altering moment. I am both happy and sad for my brother. I am happy that his dream has been fulfilled and they would move on to what I hope and pray would be a better life for them. I am surely gonna miss him..... the helping hand he extended without expecting anything in return...... the joys and the memories of the gatherings we have..... what would Christmas be without him and his family in our home.... I would miss the petnames we call each other; the endless taunting and teasing, the laughter, the updates a.k.a. gossiping, the no holds bar secret conversations that only siblings who understand each other can have..... We never have tears because emotions are something we can't seem to show..... that makes this parting difficult......

MS would miss him and his cousin, my brother's son, whom he has learned to love as the brother he does not have. I would always cherish the memory of MS with his small cousin sitting on his lap or beside him on an oversized office chair in the study room playing their computer games; running around the house; or watching TV in his room. He would always ask my brother to allow his cousin to sleepover in the house but it has not happened because his cousin does not want to be left in our house without his mom. My brother and his wife cannot leave their home without anybody. These two boys would always look forward to seeing each other. My brother's son would only look for MS whenever and wherever he sees me. I chanced upon him and his mom in a bus terminal last year and the only words that came out of his mouth was, "where is kuya ....?" Already, MS is avoiding talks on his cousin's travel because he would be hurt by his loss.

Some good thing about their departure is that their sleepover is finally happening tonight. MS is excited about this..... I am glad too that my brother chose to spend their last night here with us.....

PS: Hindi ko na napigilan ang nag-aalab na damdamin at bumigay na ako sa temtasyon kahit hindi nararapat....... Hindi ko na kayang hintayin pa ang mangyayari sa isang linggo...... na malalaman ko kung nagawa o magagawa pa ng technician ang luma kong TV. Matapos ang masusing pag-iisip at pagmumuni-muni, nabuo na ang isip at loob ko. Kahapon pagkatapos naming mananghalian ay umalis ako ng bahay kasama ang pangalawa at bunso kong anak. Nagpunta kami sa mall at dumerecho sa aplliances center..... at matapos ang pagkukumpara sa napakaraming alternatibo at pagpupulong naming mag-iina..... ako ay bumili ng isang Samsung LCD TV...... yahoo!