Ika 8 ng Pebrero 2009: The Relatives

Brainchild's break............

I am still thinking about going to my cousin's funeral or not...... maybe not...... lest my cousin who lives in this part of the city calls me and gives me a ride. I thought about not attending the funeral yesterday. That's why hubby, the kids, and I went to the wake yesterday.

I was there ahead of hubby and the kids. I learned that MIL asked hubby to bring her to BIL's home in Marikina yesterday. So hubby couldn't come with me earlier. I went ahead so I could register the pups telling hubby to just follow me at the wake and to bring the kids along.

I met up with my brother who accompanied me to PCCI. It was fast as there were only two clients including me when I filed the pups' registration. We went for a little detour to eat snacks before we proceeded to the wake. I am not very on keen on eating in wakes. We had to pass by a gasoline station to use the toilet because I also do not like going to the toilet in a funeral home unless accompanied. I also do not look at the dead inside the coffin. I have an irrational fear of the dead and anything associated with it. In my lifetime, I have only seen my parents and FIL in a coffin. I don't know why......... I grew up with this affliction.....

On the way to the wake, he would relate to me the latest antics of my braggart of an uncle, uncle in law actually, who loves fascinating people around him with his millions in inheritance and his rich kids and in laws and travels.

There were only a handful of people when we arrived. The wake is in Sto. Domingo Church. It was almost 6:00pm and I decided to hear an anticipated mass. I went back to the wake after the mass. My brother was gone leaving word with my cousin, brother of the deceased, that he would be back shortly...... Somehow I knew he wouldn't be back that shortly. I felt restless because throngs of people I don't know or hardly recognized started filling up the place. My cousin's wife invited me to take dinner. I refused many times but then realized I was being rude.............. so I relented the next time she asked...... My cousin's wife's relatives cooked the meal to be served on the last day of the wake. It was actually good as raved about by my cousin's wife. I got to talk with some of her relatives who live in the same place I and my cousins grew up in. My cousin lived there until his death. I have not visited the place for a long time and I could hardly recognize some old neighbors. I would be introduced as the sister of my brother who still visits the place and seems like a native there endearing himself to residents of the place. He could run for public office there and probably win.

Once we finished our meal, we went down so that another batch of visitors could eat. Soon, my SIL, my brother's wife, arrived with my niece and nephew. Some other cousins, aunts, and uncles would arrived. I would go upstairs with them as the place was really crowded by this time. Hubby and the kids arrived about this time and had dinner. My middle daughter coming from her outing had not eaten yet........... hubby, eldest daughter, and my son would still eat even if they had dinner at home. When they were done, we all went downstairs. Descending the stairs was quite a feat as I would have a good view of my cousin. I went down facing sideways............

I would be joined by a cousin on the bench ...... an unassuming and quiet lady and one of those I grew up and play with in those days. She remains very much the humble and quiet girl I have known. We talked about life, family, work, Like me, she doesn't look at the dead. Queers probably gravitates toward each other. Her sister would join us. There would be brief exchanges with other relatives as they pass by. A cousin in UK would call and talk to everyone.

My eldest daughter would approached us asking when we can leave. I said soon. I would want to leave also as talks by this time would be focused on who has the most money, has the highest position, the most successful business, the most accomplished daughter or son, latest cars, houses, travels, etc.......

Last time I was in the wake, my aunt telling me about her grandson being offered double his salary by a utilities company to work in the field (with actual figures cited) still undecided about the offer considering that he is not used to the 'hard' life and their bitter court battle with her husband's (the same braggart uncle) siblings over properties costing millions gave me the impetus to leave the scene. Ironically, her husband implied to my brother during my mom's wake that in our family, I would be the one they have to deal with on property matters. From then on, there was bad blood between that UIL and I.

They are not alone in this bragging business. Some aunts and uncles in the provinces would engage in petty family squabbles over wealth ...... really sad. An uncle and his children would go to the extent of offering what appears as alms to buy my mom's inherited land. When we refused to sell to them, that uncle whom I used to have high respect for, would make it appear that we are being proud for refusing their 'generous' offer.

I think about the summers we spent in my grandparents home which was a happy and big playground for all of us when money didn't matter. When my grandparents were around, we all used to stay in the province to be with my cousins, all the cousins, during summer and Christmas vacations. But when the old folks died and properties were divided, relatives showed their true colors. The family gatherings stopped..... From time to time, we would hear about family squabbles that have transcended to our generations. It's sickening.......... What happened to this this once closely knit family?

Time flies so fast and after some years we were changed..... I have changed as well but some things should never change. I am glad we didn't have so much money to fight over with. My parents instead gave us the invaluable inheritance of education, hard work, honesty, and pride. That should hold us in good stead many years later..... Now, it's time to pass that torch to our own children.

As more relatives threaten to invade the place, it's really time to go........... I would most likely miss the funeral as well......

PS: Ilan oras na lang at pasukan na..... Madugong linggo na naman sa kin at finals wekk namin sa paaralan. Kailangan ko na rin tapusin ang isang mahalagang bagay sa opisina.......