Looking Back

I'd like to look back and relive the moments of the year that passed. This blog is on its third year and has been my springboard since I decided to share parts of life .... Let go back as I share my favorite Lifescape posts ....

June 28 - July 4, 2010: Celebrations: My last post for this section which documents the many affairs I attended that memorable week... from send-off, birthdays, anniversaries ...... Incidentally, this is the second time I would be using this title for a post in this section .....
July 21 - 27, 2010: Gutted: V.........'s plant burned to the ground which could alter her plan and I am saddened by the prospects of having another friend leaving me ....
June 14 - 20, 2010: Letting Go: My eldest daughter and I reconciled after a heated argument the previous week. In the weekend, we had to let go one of our helpers .....
May 31 - June 6, 2010: The Dreaded C: The big C is hitting so close to home and I have some apprehension .... Stressed out and frustrated, I quit manning chores at the music site. With no responsibilities at the site, I had a relaxing weekend going to the spa and watching movie with my second daughter.
May 24 - 30, 2010: Summer Rain: I started the week meeting up with a former HS teacher and ended it standing as a godmother for the newly-born of a colleague friend. I also made sure that Mang Boy, my iron work contractor gets the bird he ordered from us and had hubby made the arrangement that Sunday. We went out shopping with the kid for school stuff after settling everything .....
May 17 - 23, 2010: Take Time to Stop and Smell the Flowers: I had a new-found respect for a government agency I loathe going to in the past. My weekend was cramped as I pooled errands that Sunday. Even so, I managed to meet up with the parents of a child with ADHD who requested to meet me after reading my blog. I was glad I did as I felt light after my sharing with them.
May 10 - 16, 2010: We Made History: We participated in the first ever automated election. This is a memorable week for my eldest daughter who is a first time voter. Despite the long wait during the electoral process, the quick results more than made up for the lapses in that election. The results, though, is something else and we may have to grind our teeth again seeing a bunch of clueless clowns in our august chamber.
May 3 - 9, 2010: A Lesson or Two: The post deals with the essence of failures and why they have to happen in life.
April 12 - 18, 2010: Coming to a Head: This week I could feel the pressures put on me by the demands of the music site we set up. My old boss would return to the office which is making me uneasy.
April 5 - 11, 2010: Breakaway: My old and reliable helper took her vacation the very first day of the week as we were just adjusting to the new helpers. This would turn out to be one exciting week as my friends and I would bolt out of the old music site we hang out in when we could no longer bear too much restriction in the site. Immediately after, we set up our own site unsure what we got ourselves into. Like kids, we would get all hung-up with this new site.
March 29 - April 4, 2010: Battle of the Sexes: It was the Holy Week.  Just as we're gearing up for vacation, I was concerned about the coming vacation of my main helper, Kakay. Without much options, I was forced to accept a gay helper into our household to the consternation of hubby. The religious group in the village asked me if our home could be one of the stations during their traditional Station of the Cross on Holy Thursday. Bored by the long, holiday, my girls and I hied off with V........ to nearby Tagaytay.
March 22 - 28, 2010: Life's Two Faces: It's graduation time for most families and we my second daughter is also graduating. In the excitement of preparing for my daughter's graduation, my eldest daughter would tell me she sprained her foot. Despite this, the whole family attended my daughter's graduation.
March 15 - 22: Bruised: There was a sudden change of leadership in our Department which created a buzz early this week. Our pet helper quit unceremoniously and we were actually relieved. The very same day, we found a replacement. I grazed a parked car as I was making a turn at a road's bend while out on a weekend errand. By the end of the week, I discovered an ugly bruised on my upper left arm which I have no idea how I got. I would have a bit of explaining to do as it sure looks like telltale signs of a battered woman .....
March 8 - 14, 2010: Trouble in Paradise: Just when I wanted normalcy, I would have to deal with a problem with our then pet helper. By midweek, I had a private talk with him and later on hubby and I would be discussing the possibility of replacing him. While relaxing in the weekend, a friend would engage me in confide in me the state of her affairs. By simply listening to her, I would have the most stimulating conversation.
March 1 - 7, 2010: Damage Control: A short post about self-correction after being remiss for a long while. I carried my self-reflection until the end of the week walking beneath the starry skies. Home provided me refuge from whatever ails me ......
February 22 - 28, 2010: Coming to Terms: A trusted service provider is back to working on my home..... except this time he's got the dreaded C... I couldn't help but feel for him as he deals with it on his own terms. Meantime, I have to deal with my own reality, not as tough as his, but daunting enough to rouse me out of my lethargy.....
January 25 - 31, 2010: All Within the Family: After a long while, my friend V..... is coming home. There's some sort of irony in this homecoming because my joy might be bringing loneliness from V.... and the family she left again. In the weekend, we would have our much missed family reunion after recent events caused our family to drift apart..... In an important weekend, our water pump would break down and we are in deep shit .....
January 18 - 24, 2010: Strange Cravings: After some months of improper eating habits, I would lose so much weight that it has become noticeable. Lately, I have been indulging in strange cravings that would border on the bad and unhealthy ..... but that is me. As the week draws to a close, a speech I wrote seemed to have been ignored by my boss after I turned it over to her. More than bashing my work, the worst thing a boss can do is to not ay anything about my work .............
January 11 - 17, 2010: The New Becomes Old: This is a post I love reading over and over again because I was able to draw into my consciousness the exact emotional state I was that week. Just coming out of new year's festivities, I and maybe most of us were getting used to the new year and at the same time i was trying to shake off my lethargy ..... Some family issues cropped up too and old wounds reopened ......
December 28, 2009 - January 3, 2010: A Toast to a Brand New Year: An eventful week even if my lazy bones complained about getting to work at the start of the week. Like in previous years, we toast to a brand new year with our neighbors as soon as midnight stroke .....I think I mended fences with a bitter foe .... The week was capped with a luxurious day at the spa by MIL, MD, and myself .......
December 21 - 27, 2009: It's Christmas Time: The week of Christmas saw our family attending gatherings to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ with families and friends .....
December 14 - 20, 2009: Celebrations: The busiest week is the week just before Christmas. MY son's birthday lies smack into this week. Skeds can get crazy with so many parties to attend. In the weekend, we are going to have our Christmas party in the condo of our school owner. Hershey would somehow manage to steal the show from me by whelping just I was about to go to the party .......
November 30 - December 6, 2010: Joy Ride: A week of contrast starting with a joy ride to Subic and ending with a electrical problem that cut short my bliss .......
November 23 - 29, 2009: When Hell Broke Loose: A dark day in Philippine history when the ugly side of politics reared its ugly head. This post is dedicated to the the Maguindanao massacre victims.
November 16 - 22, 2009: Haunted by My Ghosts: I had been meaning to visit my parents in their resting place but postponed it until my brother and his family who just arrived from a long trip can go with us. The delay somehow made me equate eerie occurrences with being gently reminded of my lapse. When we finally was able to set the long-overdue trip to the cemetery, so much more was in store for us .......
November 9 - 15, 2010: And the Winner is ........... : A typical day when Manny Pacquiao would have a fight. People stay at home to watch the fight. This gave MD, V......, and I the perfect opportunity to shop at bargain haven, Divisoria....
November 2 - 8, 2009: Same Old Routine, Some New Twists: A week devoted to bargain hunting from selers of pre-loved items. I got to know an amazing lady in one of my errands this week....
October 19 - 25, 2009: Drifting: My birthday falls on this week. I decided to give myself a treat. Inspite of this, the day just didn't seem so special ......... Later in the week, I had a late celbration with my friend V.....
October 12 - 18, 2010: In Heat: My bitches are in heat this week and my sires are going crazy. My brother has to make an important decision this week......
October 5 - 11, 2009: Testy: Reeling from the onslaught of a major disaster, people tried to get back on their feet as some disappointing discoveries are unraveled....
September 28 - October 4, 2009: Aftermath of the Perfect Flood: We have just been through a calamity of major proportion. It brought the best and the worst in people. In other parts of the globe, disasters are happening left and right. I can't help but think if this is apocalypse as we gear for another super typhoon .....
September 21 - 27, 2009: Leak on My Window: What must have been the biggest typhoon in recent times came and we weren't even aware how devastating it was until I received a text message from a former colleague asking to be rescued. The sudden awareness jerked me and my entire family from our inertia. Suddenly, we were calling relatives and friends to find out how they are. Like the others, I suffered damages in our home. But unlike in the past, I am thankful for the damages we sustained from the typhoon. We can still do something about it while others lost everything ..... The tragedy reopened my eyes to what is essential ...
August 31 - September 6, 2009: True Colors: This week I would uncover the real person behind a superior in the office and a neighbor I consider a friend to my chagrin. I would regret laying a hand on my son and make conciliatory amends for that later.
August 17 - 23, 2009: Stop Sweating the Small Stuff: A gentle reminder to me not to over-stress myself about the trivial.... especially with what I would face this week. I'll be hiring a new helper out of compassion rather than qualifications. Another family would be tear apart and it would be so close to home. My son would be spending a night away from home for the very first time and I am worried sick and at the same time I would miss him.....
August 3 - 10, 2009: Making History: Despite a domestic problem, my kids and I were able to pay respects to President Cory on her funeral. My eldest daughter witnessed the event along Roxas Boulevard earlier in the morning. The cortege reached Sucat Road where we are stationed early evening. Tita Cory will be laid to rest in nearby Manila Memorial Park.... That pretty much was the story that made every major daily and news mag that week ....
July 27 - August 2, 2009: Snippets of Life in Two Nations: A friend and a family member would have a taste of the scourge of recession in the land of milk and honey. Back home, we would mourn the passing of an icon of democracy .....
July 13 - 19, 2009: Unconquerable Soul: I am reminded of a poem my classmates and I memorized in HS as a requirement for our English class. Back then, I simply mouthed the words without understanding it. But now, it takes on a special meaning as I am dealt with life's blows .....
June 29 - July 5, 2009: Undesirable Outcomes: My first post for this category and the week would turn out not too good. What was supposed to be a happy celebration turned ugly. I am still bugged by office politics. To top it all, I would not doing work I love doing for about 14 weeks .....

And that's how it was for me the past year ....

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June 28 - July 4, 2010: Celebrations

Note: This will be the second to the last post under Lifescape. I have been sharing my real soap opera that is the life I lived the past two years unabashedly in this section and One Day, Isang Araw . It's time to return to the familiar comfort of obscurity.....  I am not sure how it would go from hereon....... it would most likely be snippets of some facets of life worth sharing during moments of inspiration  ..... I'd go back to the events that transpired in a compilation of my favorite posts under Lifescape in my last post .     Thank you to all those who followed my journey the past year.

Lifescape is ending on a high note this week with a number of celebrations to look forward to....

The week would start rather slowly as if pulling it towards the end of the week like it wants to gear up for all the forthcoming events..... Like most days when I am uninspired, I would drag myself to work going through the motions of it all.....

The music site is running smoothly and I would man my slots on designated times in the day. No major problem there as things appear to have fallen nicely into place.

ED's birthday would fall on a Thursday and my big baby wouldn't be able to go home because of an examination the following day. The girls are so responsible when it comes to school work that I am put to shame recalling my nonchalance back in my school days. The birthday celebration had to be moved in the weekend.

Friday came. Since morning, I was looking forward to the send-off party for an official I worked for who retiring by the end of this month. He was like a father to me and I will always treasure the opportunity of working on one of my most challenging tasks in this office. He would raved about the work I did and I would know it from someone else. The project also brought me and a colleague friend who worked with me on this project closer to the staff in his office. We would always be invited to special occasions like this send-off even after the project ended.

As soon as we were done with our work, we headed to the despedida bash for our beloved official. We came in the middle of the presentation of the offices managed by this official.... a colorful and vibrant extravaganza of song and dance numbers. We partook of dinner. Once we found the opportunity, my friend and I went to the official and shared some light moments. When some guests took their turns to go to him, we gave way and returned to our table. What was supposed to be a short stay turned out to be longer than planned. I and another colleague who came with us to the affair were under the weather. The plan was to make a quick getaway after hobnobbing with the boss. But that was not to be so..... as we found ourselves dancing to the music of a live band. Several attempts to 'escape' were quashed by some guests who probably wanted company on the dancefloor. Even our boss was dancing which is also part of the reason we couldn't just go.  We have not seen him this light and happy.  When the last of the song was played, we finally made our exit after saying goodbye to our boss. I was sleepy but was pinching myself to stay alert driving home as I dropped off my colleagues along the way.

It was dawn when I arrived home. In a few hours, I had to wake up to prepare for the golden wedding anniversary of the parents of one of my best friends.... 50 long years and counting... one of those rare and pleasant events one wouldn't want to miss. My friend is in the US and couldn't come home for the affair but she made sure that I would join her family who have been like my own parents and siblings. Their home would be our hang-out with the rest of our friends back in high school. Their house was a few meters away from school. It also helped that Nanay shared their meals with us when we hang-out at their home. Being Kapampangan, her fares were gastronomic delights.

That Saturday morning, I woke up and had breakfast with hubby and MS.  I woke MD up who is the easiest companion in social events being careful not to upset her or I might go alone.  I started preparing  and she got up shortly, had breakfast and prepared too.  Soon, we were off to the affair.  It was early when we arrived at the venue.  The pastries we brought were just the right fare to the coffee which the early birds like us partook  while waiting for the arrival of the celebrants.  After several minutes, the celebrants arrived..... stunned about the whole affair.  Their children surprised them with a party of family and close friends.  Nanay C......  shed tears of happiness as Tatay C...... smiled widely.

The renewal of vows followed after the brief interlude.  I am always in awe attending weddings but a golden anniversary is something else and I can't help but think how many marriages would be able to stand the test of time.  I was a solemn affair marked by tears of joy by family members.  Theirs was story of triumph.  I've seen the sacrifices of Nanay and Tatay so as to provide a good future for the children.  Tatay C..... endured long separation from his family as he worked overseas to be able to provide for their needs.  Nanay C...... steadfastly performed the role of mother and father all the time.  The children have been brought up well; have all finished schooling and have families of their own now except for their youngest, the only boy who is entering priesthood.

I guess now is the time to reap the fruits of all their sacrifices.  And the children themselves said that the celebration is but a small token for all the sacrifices of Nanay and Tatay.  Close friends were crying with them as they relived the story of their lives.  I was overwhelmed and probably shed a tear or two ..........

Of course, the picture-taking was necessary for posterity.  The rituals of the affair made the celebration just picture-perfect .  I wonder how many more golden anniversaries I will be a part of ...... When it was time to say goodbye, a rousing thunderstorm stalled MD and me.  They say that rains are like tears that washes away life's cobwebs and renew the soul.  If that were so, the rains that afternoon must have been heaven-sent to punctuate the celebration of a very beautiful love story that continues to inspire ...........

Sunday was my youngest brother birthday and we sent our greetings though the mobile.  In the evening, we set out to the nearby Dampa market for ED's belated birthday celebration.  The seafood dinner was just the perfect end to this week.  After dinner, it was almost like a blur after a whirlwind week and I probably wanted it to stop as I do not like to start another work week in a few hours after my merry ride this week.......

That is how it was for me the past year and I'll be looking forward to many more celebrations in the years to come.......

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June 21 - 27, 2010: Gutted

I was expecting this week to be most mundane. Weekly roller coaster rides can be daunting at times.....

I had been waiting for an important email which could make my life miserable for at least three months if what I am dreading to happen will happen. Yet, what remains of my pride prevented me from taking the initiative of finding out for myself what is becoming apparent now. It's every part-time educator worst fear.... I and the rest of the moonlighters have no load for the term because night classes will not be offered this term..... shucks.....

While the money I make from teaching sure helps tidy me up on those times, it is not for this reason alone that I chose to work my butt for 7 or so more hours a week on top of the regular 40 hours. Being a mentor is not really the best way to make money.... I see the time I spent in school as a break from all the madness..... The money may not be great but the psychic reward is immeasurable. Whenever I am asked what I do, I feel a sense of pride saying I am a mentor. While my official designation is that of a public servant, I am quick to add that I help mold young minds and feel really good about it..... with this development, dashed dreams for the time being..... we were assured that by next term, things would be back to what they were..... hopefully........

In the doldrums of the midweek, I was greeted with an unexpected bad news by V.......'s hubby.... The plant of the company where V...... is working was razed to the ground the previous night .... nothing was left. I have not talked to V...... the last few days. I felt that it probably was not the best time to call her right there and then. I called her after work and sensed she has not quite gotten over the whole thing. I asked if she needed anything or if we could meet. She said she just wants to sleep as she has not slept the previous night.....

Finally, we met up the following day..... Over margarita and nachos, we poured out, letting out just enough tears in an inconspicuous corner of a dimly-lit resto bar. What happened to V..... 's plant was so unexpected that her plans might just change abruptly.... She was planning on joining her family in Canada next year without certainty.... but now, there is just enough compulsion to do that soon. It might be what V..... wants, needs.... The company would have reason to relocate operations in a country that might be more conducive to investment since there is nothing left here anyway but human resources which is seen as dispensable by these big capitalists..... so I'll be left again by a friend.... and I couldn't hide the sadness.... but if that is the only option, then I guess she must do what she has to do.... We went home after we finished our drinks......

The weekend went on uneventfully.... with the usual chores and skeds....

On Sunday, MD would be going with ED to the condo because of an early class the following day. Hubby was out, too. MS was on the lappy all the time. With a house almost empty, I decided to give myself a treat at the saloon after bringing the girls to the bus station.... I was almost done when I got a call from V....... and she called at the right time. I was waiting for someone to meet up with.......

In a few minutes, we were at the cafe trying to enjoy what remains of that weekend..........

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June 14 - 20, 2010: Letting Go

Monday is a holiday as Independence Day fell on a Saturday. A holiday is always something to savor...... I did......

It was the usual workweek except that there were only four days for most. I had to squeeze in making grades because of a deadline imposed. This is one task that is too much of a chore for me. With just a handful of students, it should not really take too much time. What makes it taxing is the difficulty of adjusting certain portions reasonably just so certain students can make the cut....... I remember a time when my class was like a pressure cooker everytime that grades were to be given.... I had quite a reputation for being an executioner. I guess I mellowed down over the years......

I still have not heard from ED till the very end of the work week. MD, she, and I had a previous plan to meet up that Friday and do some shopping for clothes as we'll be attending a debut and watching Cats next month. I was certain it wouldn't push through...... Then, I got a text message from MD asking if she would come to the office. I asked if ED was coming and she said no. I asked if she knows how to come to my office and she doesn't. I told her I'd give her direction once she is on her way. I asked MD another time to ask ED........ still negative. I guess it's just going to be me and MD. MD had to take her lunch before she meets up with me. A long time passed and MD hasn't texted.... I asked her what's taking her long. She said that ED is going with us and she's in her condo waiting for her sister. I felt relieved and was secretly chuckling inside..... When they set out, it was ED who was communicating with me. I told them to meet me at the mall. They could eat if they had to wait for me. MD asked through ED if I'll shoulder the cost of their meal. There was no way I wouldn't......

They arrived at our meeting place ahead of me and went to a burger place... After finishing up some stuff in the office, I set out to meet up with my daughters taking the train to avoid traffic. I was still far and I could see them waiting for me outside the resto. ED came to me and kissed me. There was no need to say anything....... I was extra generous with my girls particularly ED. ED is not the clothes shopaholic, it is actually MD and I who are. So whenever ED fancies something, she would usually get it whether it's from me or it's from her dad. We were looking for bargains but some interesting stuff turned up. ED ended up buying the most among the three of us. The girls were tired and I was starving after turning up the place inside and out. We sought refuge in a nearby chinese resto. After dinner, we went home.....

The following day, I gave ED the stuff she was asking from me..... the subject of our altercation. It was something I'd like to keep for myself but I let go of it.......

We also had to let go of our stay-out pet caretaker in the weekend. I thought she wanted out......   A few weeks ago, she intimated to the other helpers that she would leave once her husband is able to find work. I talked to her one lazy afternoon about her plans. She confirmed what she told the other helpers. I asked her if I should look for someone already. She said yes. I told her there's someone waiting to work for us. We could already call him. She nod grudgingly.....

The replacement came about three weeks ago. Hubby let our stay-out pet caretaker to stay on so as she can train the new helper on the job and make for a smooth transition. We still maintained her a couple more weeks out of compassion. Her husband hasn't found work yet.

Hubby was in the supermarket with MD for our weekly shopping when he texted me to tell our stay-out helper that this is her last day.  He said he might not be here when our helper goes home. I didn't want to do it. Letting go of someone in our employ is one thing that I would have a hard time doing. I stalled and stalled until hubby and MD returned from their shopping. He asked if I told our helper. I told him I haven't .... He was motioning me to do it and I was shaking my head. I motioned that he should be the one to do it..... I saw how uneasy it was for him, too. He and MD were going out again and he had to do it immediately. He was pacing back and forth his car. Our helper was walking one of the dogs. Hubby approached her and talked to her briefly. I was near hubby's car and asked him if he told her. He said yes and that our helper said she understood. Hubby and MD left again. I was there uneasy as I have a soft spot for this kind of things.... I had to tell our helper she could assist in the dog chores in the weekend if she hasn't find a job yet...... She left shortly........

So that is my emotional rollercoaster for the week......

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June 7 - 13, 2010: The Hurt

I was immensely enjoying my free time from being liberated from a responsibility I was thrust into by fate. I didn't have to spend time monitoring the site which admittedly eats up so much time not to mention opportunity lost from spending quality time with family and friends.

However, I still check on the music site from time to time just to see how they are doing. From all indications, it appeared to be crumbling. The mess was even played out in one of the segments and I had to ask a friend at the site to remove the said post. It was removed belatedly and damage was done. I was thinking that in any undertaking, nobody is indispensable. Anyone could fill up a void. My absence could easily be masked as an unexpected break because of numerous competing concerns. But it was not to be....... My departure was followed by another one.... That proved to be the last straw.....

By midweek, I knew I had to help institute some damage control. I appeared at the site as a friend making requests so as to have a semblance of normalcy. The segment is being manned by one of my first friends in the old site. She was returning to vjeing chores from a long hiatus as her hubby who works outside the country was home for his annual vacation. My unexpected presence led to the two of us catching up and for some reason she hit my soft spot. Next thing I knew I was back in the site and taking control of things once again. I had to make an appeal to the other vj who left the site after I did...... It took more than a day before he would reply.......  We all heaved a sigh of relief after that.... and we took to our tasks like nothing happened. I, however, had to stressed to my friend the essence of teammanship and supporting each other ...... I guess she understood.........

So the rest of the week, I was back to the site manning my board, making friends, snooping around and thinking how we can make the site better. I guess once a music lover, always a music lover........

The week also marks the end of another term in the school.... I will have to go through the motions of deciding who should make the cut once again.......

In the weekend, a hurtful remark between ED and I coupled with poor timing turned ugly. She was teary-eyed and dashed to her room banging the door behind her.... I was hurt and mad..... Hubby had to ask me what made ED cry. I was like a fallen fighter on the defensive..... I told him I simply asked ED why she was mad....

I had to go some place and meet up with friends right after that.... My brother texted that he was coming over upon the invitation of MS. It was too late to change plans and I went on meeting up with my friends telling my brother to just come over... We spent a couple of hours catching up over coffee. I told them I was in a hurry because I will be seeing a movie with MD.... a plan I made last weekend thinking that I have more free time as I was out of the music site. Last weekend, I had a movie date with MS....

When I went back home, my brother and his family were in our home. ED was gone. She went back to her condo with nary a word. I felt a pinch in my heart. We quickly had dinner as MD and I were trying to go for an earlier sked of the movie. My brother and his family had to cut short their visit. They went with MD and I to the mall and we parted ways. MD and I went to see Sex and the City 2. Well, it was not quite what I expected. I like the first more that this one.... The song number in the flamboyant videoke bar was a bit tacky and overdone.... I hope they didn't have to do the singing. I was cringing in my seat. The clothes and styles were something else, however.... I think I will try out one of those hairstyles....

After we went back home, I hurriedly set up the lappy on my lap table and propped myself on the bed to man my board. I was hoping to receive a text message from ED like she used to do everytime she goes out and reach her destination..... nothing.... I thought to myself, "fine", if that's how she likes it..... but I was hurting.... With tears in my eyes, I manned our board just like I used to.........

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May 31 - June 6, 2010: The Dreaded C

Early this week, I would learn about a classmate condition.... The guy, a casual friend, has the Big C. He is supposed to be at the prime of his life..... with a wife and growing kids surrounded by family and friends. He has his own business with a great potential. The sad news also brought to mind the condition of two of my uncles who are also struggling with the dreaded C.

Both my parents succumbed to the Big C at their prime age. With all the news I am getting lately, I can't help but think I might be next....... I hate entertaining the thought but the possibility is not entirely remote. It sucks to know that.......

Another friend's dad died unexpectedly early this week.... Our friends, son and daughter-in-law of the deceased, will be coming from the US on Thursday. V..... and I immediately made our plan to visit the wake towards the end of the workweek.

Vexed by the demands on my time by our music site and the lack of commitment by some of us in keeping the site operational, I quit my role at the site by midweek. It felt liberating......

On Thursday, V..... and I went to the wake of our friend's dad.. Our friend, son of the deceased, hugged us tightly to probably hide his tears upon seeing us.   He and his wife, both are friends way back in college, though obviously grieving, were only too happy to see us.  Even for a brief moment, we put a smile to his face while we were there.  We had to leave shortly because V..... had to visit a sister in a hospital.

Even with all this, I managed to put together people who hardly knew each other but were drawn to one another because of their love of music.. On Friday, I finally met up wih my musically-inclined cyber friends.... Food and singing were the staple that made the evening...... There were not many of us but we had one memorable night that made new friendships in that eyeball.

Some college chums were bunched with us to discussed what we could do to make the burden of our cancer-stricken classmate lighter. There are some issues though...... Later, S......., my friend who just planed in from HK, arrived and joined the group.

After we bade goodbye to our friends, S...., her hubby and son; and a couple of friends and I went for coffee at a nearby Mcdo. We discussed the plight of our classmate and agreed that we would pool resources to help. We went home around 4:30am......

In the weekend, with no more responsibility in the site, I was able to go to the spa with my friend V....... and to see Shrek with MS......

Ah, what a life.................

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May 24 - May 30, 2010: Summer Rain

The heat is killing me and it couldn't be more intense than it is this week.........

On the first day of work, I wasn't keen on working but was anticipating our meet up with our high school teacher later that day.  In the evening, a friend and I met up with Mr. B....... , our math teacher who is now  based in Canada.  He would always tell me to gather our batchmates and meet up with him.  We started this tradition about four or five years ago.  When we meet up with HS friends and teachers, the pleasant memories of the past would always give way to our youthful follies.  There would be occasional sprinkling of current preoccupation or relations which is seen more as a way to catch up but always the past is reminisced with a tinge of bittersweet nostalgia.  Like the giddy teeners we once were, I and my friend would dig into the bag of goodies that Mr. B..... had for us everytime he would meet up with us.  Funny how even if we could now afford to buy these things, gifts like this still warm our hearts.  In time, the evening would end in kisses, hugs, and goodbyes........  uncertain when the next one would be ........

Too much heat gave way to some showers on Tuesday.... a pleasant and awaited occurrence by people in the metro.  But as soon as the showers are gone, the temperature would rise giving us the feeling of those delicious Chinese dumplings..... and it doesn't feel good at all.....  Could this be the harbinger of the rainy season?

The little nuances among our househelp helpers are beginning to show..... Our pet caregiver told her fellow helpers that she would leave once her husband finds work. I am beginning to really feel uneasy about our gay helper.... Kakay would tell me her shenanigans when we're gone.

There are alternatives fortunately. MIL actually told me that a townmate of her helper would like to apply for the pet caregiver job just last week. MIL's other assistant also told us that four ladies looking for work will be arriving from a southern province.  That would give us enough options if anyone from our employ decide to leave us or if we let them go.  However, I don't want to fire anyone just to accommodate a new  person. We actually wanted a male helper because he can do odd jobs around the house. Although there are also disadvantages. Hubby said that our new pet helper is actually tidy in our kennels compared to the last employee, a male helper. But what can we do. I do not want to beg her to stay. There have been complaints about her. I personally witnessed her rough handling of my dogs that I had to sternly warn her of the consequences if any dog gets hurt. We couldn't manage without help for the pets because of their number. We work and the other helpers are also stuck with other chores.  I would see how things turn up in the next few days......

Kinkee, the last of hershey's litters was rehomed which is a good thing because she went to a nice family.  Since Meiji gave birth to two male pups last weekend, I was actually praying that the remaining pups be rehomed soon.  Another pooch, Missy, is due to give birth anytime.  With numerous pets coming in and getting out of our life, I still can't help feeling blue when a pup leaves our home.  My heart sank learning that Kinkee appeared distressed when she was taken away..... awwww

A friend would inform me about the passing of the dad of a classmate.  After my class on Friday,  I would navigate the long road to visit the wake of my classmate's dad with my youngest brother in tow.  As expected and dreaded, parking was a problem.  I smiled as soon as I saw a new structure beside the funeral home, a multi-level parking.  I happily entered the building until I navigated an incline, probably 45 to 50 degrees, and my engine would cry and my tires were screeching.  All in all, I managed about five of these inclined passageway giving me a new level of driving performance which unfortunately my vehicle was not used to.  I was complaining to the guard in the level where I parked and he told us that the engineer made a mistake in his calculations...Huh,  should I even leave my vehicle there?  well.....   Another friend was in the wake.  My brother and I were surprised to be greeted with music and a little dancing as we entered the chapel where my friend's dad lie in state.  It was a pleasant surprise and the light mood somehow betrays the tears behind the passing of a loved one.  Pardon my irreverence but I actually enjoyed the music we were treated to.  They are a family of singers......  My classmate said that they wanted to celebrate her dad's life instead of mourning his death..... which makes sense.  We bade goodbye after some time.....

The weekend was my usual..... dogs, music site, organization, monitoring, clean up, errands, vegging, eating and all those niceties....

I had to attend a baptismal on Sunday where I was one of the godmothers.  Can you imagine that :-)........ A friend unexpectedly but pleasantly gave birth to a bouncing baby boy a couple of months ago.  She was a few years younger than I am which is young, I guess........ MD tagged along with me on this affair.  We arrived at the church early.  It was a long travel and we had to find a restroom assisted by a former officemate who is also one of the godmothers.  Since we couldn't find any, she suggested going to the nearby restos.  MD and I had to eat snack so that we can earn the right to use their bathroom.  Actually, it was not necessary but I thought it was fine to linger in the resto since the affair hasn't started yet.  When we came back the baptismal was in its full celebration.  I managed to be part of the altar ceremony only to be told by an elderly lady that I should pull up my V-cut neckline.  I didn't realize that my clothes would cause such a fuss.  I didn't realized further that a church in a province would have more stringent rules that churches in the metro where people don't mind what the parishioners are wearing.  I didn't feel offended though as I and the entire entourage laughed off the incident.  I pulled up my neckline and pulled it down as soon as I was away from the altar.  We went to the reception after the church ceremony where I guess my attire would not be a matter of concern.  After a hearty lunch, we left with some other guests when it was time to go.......  

I had another business to take care of this Sunday......

As soon as we reached the village, I saw Mang Boy's familiar green car made a turn just as we were passing that road.  He would pick up his birds and other bird stuff which he ordered from hubby.  I love seeing this good man enter my gate because he makes things alright for me.  He has been my iron work contractor since our new home was built about four years ago.  But he is different now, darker and thinner, from the treatment for the cancer he was diagnosed with late last year.  He has been in treatment since.  He was in one of his recuperating periods when we communicated about my balance on the last job order.  After settling the issue of balance, he told me he wants to get birds from hubby to be paid with my balance.  Of course, I said said......  Driven by compassion for this man, I told him I'd give him a pair even without consulting hubby.  He can't say no....  I think that hubby shares my compassion for this man.  I told hubby about Mang Boy's request.  He worked on it and finally the cages with all the stuff needed and the birds are ready.  I would have delivered it to him but Mang Boy said he would like to pick it up.

While waiting for hubby, I engaged Mang Boy in conversation.  He told me he is still undergoing treatment and would be subjected to CT scan after completing his treatment.  Depending on the results, another treatment program might be made for him.  He also said he could feel new growth in his neck.....  Soon, hubby emerged....  We led Mang Boy and his grandson to the aviary.  I could see the excitement in his eyes as soon as he saw the birds.  He and hubby talked about care for the birds and other things.  After a while, hubby would load the cages in Mang Boy's car.  Hubby was looking at me as Mang Boy was leaving telling me he bought the pair I gave Mang Boy.  I gave him the look that said  let it go.......

Late afternoon, the kids requested to go to the mall to buy stuff they would need for school which will open week after next.  In the evening, a dog client who has become a friend would get another of my male pups, Fury which they renamed George.  Kinkee was taken by the sister of this dog client.  They have been dog lovers since getting a pup, Keana, early this year.  I guess we would have a very long relationship........

That how it is for me this hot rainy week.........

Related Post:
Coming to Terms

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May 17 - 23, 2010: Take Time to Stop and Smell the Flowers

By this time, most of the elected officials have been proclaimed. Many of the losing candidates are noisily proclaiming they were cheated. By this time too, my election fever is on the wane. I am just interested in the outcome of the vice presidential race. And little by little, my hope is being dashed......

I took a leave in the middle of the week to take care of my car registration........ one of those things I dread doing based on previous experience with the LTO. For the past years, my car registration was taken cared of by a neighbor working for an insurance company inside the LTO. I just give him the money and with a little extra payment, I am spared from the hassles of going to that government agency.  Last time I went there was during my birthday last year when I renewed my driver's license and ED got hers. It took us the whole day.

But I am a month delayed in registering my vehicle and it's such a hassle driving an unregistered vehicle. Everytime I drive my car, I could feel my heart skip a beat when I see a traffic officer. And I couldn't bring it too far. And I have an affair to attend in the weekend. The last reason compelled me to finally register my vehicle.

My neighbor told me that the new process requires that the vehicle be brought for emission testing with a picture taken..... arrgh. I told her I'll have that emission testing in the weekend but would still have our neighbor register the car. But the emission testing center was closed in the weekend. Hence, I would be forced to bring my car to the ETC on a workday.

I was expecting the worst that morning I decided to go to LTO and got the shock of my life....... Here's my story....

Upon entering the LTO compound, a guard took my ID and gave me a number like they do in villages or subdivisions.  That's new but I complied sensing that it is probably a new rule.  I asked the guard for direction. A few meters away were a group of men in orange shirts. When I passed the tent they were housed in, one directed me where to go and followed me. He assisted me in the ETC. When I got the results a few minutes after, he took me to the area where the insurance people and the cashier are housed. After that, he told me to bring my documents to the evaluation and processing units. Surprise of all surprises, there were hardly any people. After a few minutes, I was paying my dues. The only bummer was I had to shell out an extra thousand bucks as penalty for late registration. I vow that this will never happen again. The whole process was over in less than an hour.

I was so pleased I told myself I'd buy pastries for the kids after I finished the registration process. Another bummer would happen which will be revealed later.......

I went home and had lunch with the kids.  I was restless so I asked the kids if they want to go out.  ED and MS would not want to go out.  These two are certified veggers.........MD, ,my constant companion, and I set out.......

I decided to do some make over with MD... eyebrows, hot oil... and buy some stuff afterwards.  We were having our eyebrows trimmed when I realized I forgot my ID at LTO.... sucks. I was planning on going some other places but I have to adjust as I would have to go back for my ID card...geeesh. After our hair waxing treatment, MD and I went back to the LTO compound and got my ID.  Funny but the guard asked how I was related to the ID holder.  I said that's me.  He laughed saying I look better in person.  My pic in that ID was taken when I had a really bad hair day.  Maybe, I should have just left that ID card with them.......  With some time shaved off my desired sked, we went to the mall to buy stuff and just went home.

By the end of the week, I remembered my promise to a former high school that my friends and I will meet up with him before he goes back to Canada.  I stalled on this for the past weeks and I realized that my teacher was going back soon.  I immediately made arrangements with some friends and our teacher.  We fixed our date the very first day the following week as our teacher is leaving by the end of that week.

The workweek came and ended..... Like clockwork, things happened as they should. I came home on Friday, tired, sleepy, but hopeful about my weekend. I am not entirely savoring doing the chores but look forward to extended vegging out....

My weekend wasn't planned out concretely but I have some ideas how it would go. The dogs have to get their shots. Recently, one of my dogs bit a our water delivery boy. The importance of the dogs having updated vaccines couldn't be more appreciated. I had a bit of an explaining to do with the employer of the water delivery boy. However, after getting my dog's record, I didn't see the water delivery boy again. Another helper was assigned to deliver water for us. The employer nor the boy didn't asked me for anything. I am not exactly happy because I know we were wrong. I could have spent for his medical expense if needed even if I am short on funds lately.  I don't know why the boy didn't go to the doctor to have the dog bite.  I wasn't too worried about rabies because the dog that bit him has anti-rabies shot.  Then again, his wounds should have been treated.  I don't understand why he seemed to avoid going to the house when I am there and would show up when I am gone.  I guess nothing bad happened to him..  the dog is fine too.

An event, the baptismal of the son of my friend and officemate, was reset for next week. I thought that my scheduled talk with a reader of this blog who was interested in my experience in handling the difficulties of having a child with ADHD could happen this weekend instead of next as we originally planned. He and his wife were cool with that and we set Sunday afternoon as our meeting date.

There was also the planned dental appointment with hubby dentist-friend. I am trying to fit all of these events this weekend.

I called the vet on Saturday after the dogs had their bath and grooming time but they couldn't be accommodated that day. So we set it morning of the following day. I also sent a message to the parent of the ADHD child I am meeting and he and his wife agreed to set the meeting on Sunday. We still don't know yet if the dentist appointment will push through the following day. which means that we might have a cramped day on Sunday.....

The kids and I went to our usual anticipated mass on Saturday. Hubby went to his birds meeting. After the mass, there was an announcement on H1N1 vaccine to be administered sometime in June. MS and I registered for the vaccination. The girls said they will avail of free vaccines at their university. Going out of the parish office, I saw my 'suking' banana vendor waiting for someone at the parking area. His one and a half year old son just died. The boy is their only child. I asked him if the child has been buried yet. He said he was waiting for a priest and they might have the burial the following day. He was sullen and sad as I asked him about the circumstances of the death. He said a doctor told them of a disease which he couldn't make out. He and his wife found the child already cold one morning. He said he's worried about his wife and is bent on bringing her to a doctor after the burial. I felt his pain and I couldn't just go. My kids who were walking ahead of me, went ahead and I am certain are getting impatient. But I have to offer an ear and some support. My kids would emerged with those faces of impatience as I was searching for my wallet to give him some help. We parted ways after I told him to stay strong but to cry if he needs to and to look after his wife. I had to explain to the kids I have to stop to give comfort. Their impatience was gone and we would discuss the child's death in the car. I could not remember exactly what the vendor told me about the cause of death as I was telling the story to the kids. ED, whom we see as the closest thing we have to a medical mind, would have her theories.

On Sunday, hubby told us that our dental appointment will push through as we were having breakfast. I have things planned out actually. I waited for the vet while I was on the lappy manning our music site. Soon, the vet and her assistant would arrive. The appointment lasted several hours. It was lunchtime when they finished with all the dogs.

After lunch, we set out to go to the dentist. The plan was to pass by the pet store to buy dog food; have our dental appointment; and go to the grocery. I timed my meeting with my readers around the time we were doing the grocery. I was texting the dad of the child on the meet up. Just as arranged, he would text me while we were in the supermarket. I brought MD along. Finally, I met them in a resto. They offered to buy us food but MD and I couldn't take anything for the next hour or so or our dental ordeal would have been a waste. Our sharing was fruitful to say the least. Before we met, I told them I am no therapist and I hope they won't expect professional advise. It would simply be sharing of experiences having passed through the ordeals they might be experiencing now.  We still do occassionaly........   It was just that... an open and spontaneous exchange of experiences. There were points I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I told them that everything I written on my blog is what exactly we experienced as a family and I as a mom. The mom of the child with ADHD told me she actually felt what I went through and could relate well to my experience. She and her husband were just glad to talk to someone who has a first hand experience in this misunderstood condition of a lot of boys and girls out there. The time passed so quickly and soon hubby's text message to MD telling us that they were done shopping came. The mom and I kissed and I shook hands with the dad. We exchanged home phones and they told me that they would give a call again. I said anytime. I felt good and light after that meet up.

Considering I didn't plan out this weekend, it turned well..... more than what I expected. It was worth dropping the usual things I do and taking time out to ease someone else's pain.

This week I felt I also restored some order into my life....

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May 10 - 16, 2010: We Made History

For Filipinos, this is one important week as we elect our new President. In fact, it was to be the first order of the day for us and most Filipino voters as we will see later on the very first day of the week.  There is excitement in the air as we all want to see a change.  This is going to be our first ever automated election too.  We don't know what to expect but we are all hopeful that we will elect our new President peacefully.

I was closed to shock seeing ED up so early in the morning on a holiday. But there she was in the study room with her dad and MS, talking ordinary stuff.  I wasn't quite ready to start my day as I brought a laptop downstairs so I could do some stuff on the net and monitor things at home at the same time.  It seems that the helpers are having a heyday whenever I linger in my room tinkering on the laptop and go down late.  I have to do something about it.

I was just starting things ........ writing on my blog, posting songs on our music site, harvesting on my farm...... when ED and hubby went upstairs.  I was not involved in their discussion like I am non-existent.  I was looking out for them all the time sensing that they were getting ready to go to the polling center ......and the network won't cooperate.  It would quit on me or would be too slow.  I was able to write a prayer for a peaceful election on my blog and post a song but was not able to share the prayer I wrote in our music site.  I told a co-admin that I have to go out for a while to vote.  ED and hubby were ready after sometime.  I asked for them to wait for me .  I would be getting a dressing down for not getting ready soon enough.  But they waited for me.......

We were in our polling center in no time.  It was hot and hubby has no umbrella in his car.... just great.  As we neared the gate, there was a long queue already..... chaotic is the best way to describe what was instore for us.  We have to have a game plan.  We took turns standing on the line as we left hubby to get our polling booth details in the designated area.  As soon as he got it, we found out that we and ED have separate polling booths..... problem compounded.  I didn't want to leave ED because it's her first time to vote and with the thick crowd, something wrong could happen.  Hubby prevailed upon me.  So we went inside leaving ED in her line.  Inside, more chaos await us.  There were lines everywhere and people did not know where it led to.  We looked for our precinct number and easily found it.  But the route was teeming with warm, confused, and mad bodies.  We asked where the line led to and the people lined up only knew that it was going inside.  After that throngs who lined up, people converged by the room's entrance.  There was no crowd control.  I asked a PPCRV volunteer and she told me that there is no line.  I was getting dizzy. Hubby and  I stayed at the back.  Later, a guy joined me in suggesting that the volunteers should simply collect our precintct slips and call out names.  The lady volunteer proceeded to tell their leader.  He took some slips but left out some.  We insisted that he get all.  Still, the crowd remained at the door blocking the passageway to the room.  I told another PPCRV volunteer to exercise her power and get those people off the passage way.  Soon, the PPCRV leader were calling out names..   We clapped in agreement.  We were done ahead of the others who were still crowding the door.  It took a little more than an hour.

We rushed to where ED was and their line hardly moved.  She was inside the polling center but the line stopped moving.  I stayed with her as hubby roamed around.  It was taking so long and the snoop in me couldn't resist doing something about it.  First, I probed what could be the reasons after I heard one voter said that there were problemes with the pcos machines.   I verified with the volunteer controlling the entrance of people.  He said he doesn't know.  I told him he should know.  If he would allow me, I would find out.  He allowed me and I got in.  I went to ED's classroom.  The room was almost empty, maybe about 3 voters in there.  The queue wasn't too long.  I asked the volunteer assigned there why the line wasn't moving and if the pcos machine is working.  She said the machine is working fine.  I told her that there too few people voting inside the room adding that in our classroom, there were about 15 voters voting at the same time.  So it was fast.  With this information, I went back to ED.  I told the volunteer controlling the entrance that there was nothing wrong with the machine.

While waiting, another volunteer would try to explain the delay telling us that the line to where ED would be voting is circuitous.  I contested the statement as an untruth.  I told him I was there and there was a line but not long.  I told him they were allowing only 3 persons to vote which is the reason for the delay.  He wanted to insist but I told him we could go together and he could see for himself.  He vanished in thin air.  Soon, they would be calling voters for ED's room to get inside.  My snooping and bitching worked once again.  ED got in and queued in her room.  I waited at an area where I could see her.  Hubby would join us in a while.

The other voters still lined up in the queue ED left hasn't moved a bit.  I think the pcos machine was malfunctioning in their room.  The voters were restless.  I wanted to meddle because I know that voters should be allowed to vote even if the pcos machines are not working because there is an allowance for manual counting.  But I meddled far too much and I am tired. I was just happy that ED was in and is assured of exercising her right to vote.   We waited for probably less than an hour.  While waiting, we would be hearing complaints from voters who just casted their votes after four hours of waiting.  So we must be luckier.  ED was in her polling booth and we were about two hours there since we arrived.  Soon, ED would emerged.  We were done in exactly 2 hours and  45 minutes.  Thanks to my bitching.......

In the aftermath of the election, I would learn that the average waiting time was four hours.  There was an account I overheard of waiting for 7 hours.  Some were so distressed, they just went home and not voted..  A friend told me that she andd her dad, a senior citizen, had to get home as her dad couldn't bear the heat and the thick crowd.  There might be a number of voters disenfranchised due to all the confusion and chaos in the precincts.  With the automated election, Comelec decided to increase the number of voters per precinct to 1,000 from about 400 in previous elections.  We surely felt the difference.  Election used to be a breeze.

With all the attendant problems associated with the maiden implementation of the first automated election, it was a successful election nonetheless.  It was not perfect and there is still much room for improvement but we were gratified about converting from the antiquated manual voting to automated voting.  While we blabber about waiting, it was all worth it because the election results were delivered so fast.  By evening, result would come in trickles......

The results, though, is another matter.  By midweek, a trend would be established.   Noynoy Aquino looks headed for an expected win.  The surprise is Erap still commands a following as he tightly held on to the second spot.  I am just glad he is a far second.  The vice presidency is hotly contested between Binay and Roxas.  I am hoping that Roxas can still make it although he trails Binay in both counting by Comelec and PPCRV.  It looks like a goon is going to join a simpleton president.  Are we in trouble?

From the looks of it., we have not learned as we kept most of the NPA (non-performing assets) in there.  Bong Revilla, the leading senatorial candidate, has the gall to tell us that the electorate probably saw his performance (sic) in the senate..... huh.... what the heck is this bum talking about!!!  All he did was sit himself pretty all the time without saying or doing anything.  Well, if he counts his privilege speech protecting a fellow actor from public humiliation as a result of her tryst with another entertainer as his biggest accomplishment, we all know what we can expect in the current Senate.  Another thug from the same industry shares top spot with Mr. (Non) Performer. An aging clown from a familiar trio is also assured of being a lawmaker.  A brainless reelectionist actor is yet to be proclaimed but will complete the ensemble of the eerily silent headless and clueless bunch.

The House of Representatives will be a spectacle when it convenes in July with the stellar appearances of stars.  The Champ will be there to dazzle his fellow Representatives with his jabs and hooks.  The beautiful martyr wife of reelectionist Mr. (non) Performer will also be there.... maybe sitting pretty too......Another beautiful wife of a famous actor made up for her husband's lost when he attempted to try politics some years back.  A lesser known actor who made a successful bid as a local official in a southern Luzon province likewise made it.

Several celebrities also made it to various local positions.  The most prominent would probably be the Star for All Seasons who won her reelection bid in her second-time senator husband's hometown.

I am not judging these people because they are celebrities but on the basis of their capabilities.  How can some of them aspire for these positions when they have no inkling whatsoever what they are supposed to think, do, and accomplish.  A string of them already showed their true colors in their previous positions.  What more proof is needed to show us that these people can do absolutely nothing!  They want to serve the people.... Geesh, get real!!!!!

Until the end of the week, reactions on the election were still the burning issues of the day.  By weekend, we are clear about who made it to this election except for the vice presidency.    Like most Pinoys, I have accepted the fate of my country with the results of the election as clear as the blue summer skies but remain optimistic about restoring sanity in the government if my favored candidate steals the thunder from the leading candidate in the hotly contested vice presidential race.....

I managed to do my chores while manning our music site in the weekend and even sneaked a snack with MD and my friend V....... in one of my errands.  I also managed to squeeze in a long overdue saloon trip.  On Sunday evening, I dreaded the thought of another workweek coming shortly.

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May 3 – 9, 2010: A Lesson or Two

What do you know..... We would be celebrating our monthsary in the music site we put up.  Quite a feat considering what we went through the last 30 days.  Meant just to be a site where we, the boisterous friends, can post songs and freely express ourselves, the site now boasts of 380 subscribers in just a month's time. A far cry from the original site we used to hang out with but far from our expectations too.  Unlike in the old site, the interaction of tuners in the site is spontaneous and natural.  There is no need to be fancy as one can be his or herself.  It's easy to become friends.  That is why the hours where we usually converged have to be manned because I think that the friends who go to the site on those times expect some kind of an interaction.  In fact, we have become friends with a number of them, formerly just Facebook acquaintances.  Some of the subscribers are our real life friends, many of whom are contented being lurkers and stalkers.  The new friends are the ones we interact with often.

I was getting into the hang of things at the site. We have settled into a relatively comfortable pace especially with two additional administrators of the site. We agreed on a sked that would fit everyone’s sked. But the worst has to happen to me this week.  We would have no internet connection in the office……. Oh no!!!!!!  While we have cope up with my occasional internet disruptions, to be totally disconnected is something I did not expect.  As the week progresses, I would learn that we have been removed from our connection from the building server.  That means we will be connected to the old server which blocks a number of applications including Facebook and other favorite applications...... sigh.  I was listless the whole week but what can I do but accept my fate.  That means we have to readjust the schedule again to reflect this latest development.

Being disconnected, however, enabled me to keep up with many of my pending tasks.  I updated my blog and even came up with a relevant election post.  I cleaned up my folders.  Most importantly, I was able to do school stuff which I have been putting off.  We just had our midterm examinations and it is the season for evaluation...... a season of grief for the students.  They are particularly worried about how they fared in my class because I am handling subjects that make their noses bleed according to the description of one student.  It's a combination of mathematics and quantitative analysis.

But I must do what I should do.  I did the grades as I would usually do..... grade all evaluation tools, plug these grades into my special excel file, work out the formula, and presto, I have my computations.  As usual, I would not finalize it until I sleep over it.  I was done by Thursday but since I would submit it on Friday when I have my class, I held printing the final grading sheet until before I was about to go to school.  It's not a pretty sight as two students failed in two subjects.  And I have to fail them for being remiss….. In the old schools where I taught, I have quite a reputation.  I once failed probably half of the class in one subject.  I have failed a number of graduating students which stalled the realization of their dreams.  I've managed to come alive out of a classroom after being stalked and threatened by a student I failed.  I withstood crying sessions from a student who wanted me to change her grade so she could graduate.  I don't want failing students but I think that failures have been put in there for the lessons it bring.  I got a very good explanation in the briefing that ED and I attended when she entered college a few years back.  A parent asked during the open forum why failures can still happen to students belonging to the cream of the crop.  The facilitator said that it is better that the students who would be doctors know how to deal with failures and frustrations now than when they are already practicing their profession. He added that not all patients will come out alive after getting treatment from doctors.  A doctor cannot come out wailing or emotional after a patient dies on his or her watch.  I think it makes sense.  Maybe, I should add that failures can teach us humility and persistence.  And it doesn't really matter if one fails for as long as he can rise above it........ cliche-ish but still so true any time of the day .............

After accomplishing everything I needed to do this week,  I am looking forward to another long weekend with the glee of a child............

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April 26 – May 2, 2010: Back to Normal?

On Monday, I was walking the old familiar road on my way to work.  The heat does not really do good to my sagging energy at the start of the workweek.  But there was much to look forward to today......  Kakay's return as she promised.  Even if we were able to cope up during the three weeks that she was away, we are eagerly awaiting her return..  My daughters were probably thankful for the last minute replacements as they would have been the substitutes for Kakay.  The thought is somehow scary as our home would be a total mess by this time if that happened.

I was back late in the evening because I have classes and everything was quiet.  I asked ED who was on her laptop if Kakay arrived.  She said yes but they have not seen her.  ED, MD, and MS went swimming again in the afternoon.  And it's likely that Kakay rested once she's home.  I would see her the following morning back to her old routine.  She gladly served my and hubby's coffee during breakfast.  She looked darker but refreshed.  With that, it's back to normal for my household.  There were switching of responsibilities and maybe some miscues.  One of the changes that immediately followed Kakay's return was Mandy's lingering in their room longer than usual in the morning.  Once again, I had to call attention.  The lethargy doesn't only affect Mandy but it seems everyone else is slacking off.  It usually happens after every vacation.  Probably, the long break could be affecting energy levels and there's also what I would call the 'vacay aftereffect' where one would still feel a longing for a vacation mode even after being back from one.  What's worst is it rubs on everyone else.   I would show irritation at times but still would try to understand.  Anyway, I guess this is normal and I know they would snap out of it soon.

The first rains fell in the intense heat of summer.  While there was temporary relief, the ensuing heat after the rain was gone was just too much to bear.  PAGASA said that the heat would only be more intense in the coming days...... oooh la la....

A quick reality check on my new responsibility as one of the admins of our music site would reveal that it is hard to mix my current role in our music site and my professional and personal life without one suffering.  I am again faced with too many things on my plate.  I can hardly chew.   Luck would still be on our side as we managed to get two friends to share manning chores with us.  This would ease our burden a bit and give us a breather…. But it was not without a problem as skeds are still giving us a headache.  By now, we’re getting into the hang of it and are more comfortable... there were lesser squabbling.....

We're anticipating a long weekend ahead and it is good.......  I need a break......

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April 19 – 25, 2010: It's Getting Hot in Here

As we gained more experience on the site, we learned to relax and not overly stress ourselves.  But the demands of manning the site is too overwhelming at times.  Since I work too, I felt like I am spreading myself too thinly at times.  In one instance, I felt like being pulled in different directions as I tried to get a work assigned to me by my boss done while I was trying to work on old midterm exams to give them a fresh coat.  Midterm exams are scheduled this week.  Because of pressures at work, I had to call off a scheduled make-up class this week to finish a work that my boss has been hounding me about.  Since, we're both trying to start anew, I didn't want to be the cause of a reopening of the old 'wound'.  At the same time, we, founders of our music site, have to maintain our site as there have raised expectations among our friends.  There would be bickering at times.

The temperature is also soaring to the point when even tempers fly.  I find myself getting irritated too easily when things don't work out as expected.  The kids are complaining about the heat.  I could only sympathize.  Use of airconditioning equipment has to be controlled because a soaring electricity bill could aggravate the our problem.  Enrollment is coming up pretty soon.  The kids beat the heat by taking a dip in the village pool every so often.

We would learn about the extension of Kakay’s vacation as related to me by MIL.  She told one of our helpers that she was sick after having her tooth extracted.  It is no really big deal now.  By this time, our helpers have pretty much adjusted to the routine.  There were few irritants every now and then but things are well.

I managed to squeeze in a dinner date with my friend V........ in our favorite korean resto just before the weekend.  Over korean bbq and soju, we talked about the mundane and the silly.  By the end of dinner, we were just the right tipsy and light mood to get home.

In the weekend, I kept my new weekend routine..... man the site very early in the morning, chores until late afternoon while posting songs every now and then, hear mass, some more errands outside...... family bonding time, eating together, with some rest.  It was over in no time........

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April 12 – 18, 2010: Coming to a Head

By this week, we were all too consumed by the demands of our music site. We realized that manning this site will take its toll on our life. There were some bickering among us, founders of the site. I think it is understandable that this will happen sooner or later. We were unprepared for the demand for a lot of our time and attention by the site. We did not exactly know each other. I almost gave up a couple of times. In the end, reasons prevailed as cooler heads intervened. The site holds too much promise and meaning to us to just let go. We want this, after all.

The other site, on the other hand, continued to maintain a protective stance for their site. We were trading barbs…… the other site ramming into the throats of their subscribers that they are the only intelligent choice as against our branding of our site as being the easy and convenient alternative. It turned ugly at certain points. We are supposed to be rationale people who would just like to have an alternative media and let’s admit it, a cheaper and accessible, form of entertainment. About this time, a fan of the other site went to our site to subscribe just to lambast us for wanting to gain credibility through the site we put up. Needless to say, a couple of friends interceded in our behalf, and I gave my own dose of food for thought to our intimidator. Immediately, after, she deleted all her comments.

Personally, I was struggling with staying sane with the demands of my work and household as well as our music site. To top it all, my old boss came back. I was wary because I have an old issue with her. I don’t know what to expect. Although during the Christmas season, I felt she was reaching out to me. She gave me a gift pack through one of her staff. I was taken aback as she has not done this for a long time. What is more surprising is that the pack contains Chinese ham which I told colleagues I'd rather have than the the ham loaf given by the Department to all staff. So someone must be delivering messages to my boss. Of course, common courtesy dictates that I had to express my gratitude. And it's Christmas, the season of love. I sent her a text message thanking her for the gift pack. She immediately replied. I sent her two more text messages of greetings during the long Christmas break. She replied back with greetings. After the Christmas break, there were few times we would bump into each other and we were not exactly mushy but were cordial to each other. Beyond that, I do not know what's in her mind.

My mind was practically on the music site we set up the entire week. It was like a tug of war on manning of the site. I found myself drawn to it almost the entire day that I ended up covering for my friends when they cannot man their slots.

This is the second weekend that I failed to do some of the house chores I was supposed to do. I managed to oversee the bathing of the dog. This is also the second weekend that sleep is lacking. The other site continues to be adversarial but we learned to take things with a grain of salt. It really doesn't matter what they think..... we are happy and free in our own site. However, I might be spreading myself too thinly......

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April 5 - 11, 2010: Breakaway

On the very first day of this week, my main helper, Kakay, went ahead with her planned vacation. This was expected but I am at never prepared for this scenario. I am just thankful that with recent problems with household helpers, I was able to find replacements just in the nick of time. I have been looking for a long time for a replacement for another helper who left our household months ago. It’s not easy but the turn of events made it unnecessary to get another helper for awhile

Since the new helpers were just recently employed, we are actually still into an adjustment period. I have to go to the office not knowing what to expect. Kakay was still there when I left as she was leaving sometime in the afternoon. When I arrived in the evening, that’s when my realization finally set in. We have enough help in the house as MIL decided that she and her assistant would be staying in the house while Kakay is away. MIL gave her blessing to tap her assistant for some housework. It was agreed that her assistant would be in charge of cleaning the rooms upstairs. There is Mandy, our new helper, who told me she knows how to cook and who I put in charge of the laundry as well as cleaning the ground floor. Cheryl, another recent hire, is the one in charge of rearing the birds and the dogs. MIL’s assistant would assist her on those days when she has to bathe the dogs and other pet stuffs. Mandy took care of the fishes in the pond and garden and in the aquariums spread all over the house. They would help each other out on some chores like clearing and cleaning the garden, the service areas, and the garage and other areas outside the house. Dish washing is also a shared task. All in all, there was a good plan in running the house even without my main helper except that there are some expectations not met. I still have to monitor things and put some controls to enable them to establish an acceptable routine.

Sometime in the week, there are some irritants that I had to address. Being new, Mandy, committed mistakes in cooking a number of our meals and some other chores that seemed to earn the goat of hubby. He would complain endlessly and I can sense that he was just nitpicking. I had to put my foot down one morning while we were having breakfast as I pointed out to him that we are left with no option. I asked if he wants Mandy to go but told him at the same time to find a replacement. After this, I no longer hear complaints from anybody. Well, I had to tell Mandy about the mistakes as it could turn out costly if it keeps on happening.

The most exciting occurrence this week was when my new friends and I bolted out of a music site for being too constricting. We used to hang around that site practically the whole day listening to music as we go about our business. It was a novelty in a sense that the founder of the site made the music that we love in our youth, available 24/7, like a radio station in another platform. The good thing about it is it is interactive. It was no surprise that the subscribers of the site are mostly baby boomers and some gen x because we share a love for the music of 70s and 80s with a sprinkling of 60s and 90s, generally a love for music. In time, we would develop friendships within the site such that we would converge at a certain time and have fun while sharing music. It got to the point that there was comforting ease that we were boisterous, cybercally. Perhaps, to the extent that some fans of the site and we learned later, some of the administrators were not very pleased with our presence.

This is what we do not understand. Why those fans or admininistrators minded that we were interacting in the site as we develop friendships. Isn’t this a natural consequence of the interaction encouraged by the site? Besides, there is always a choice – if you don’t want the interaction, you can ignore it, period. And go straight to the music. But not us…..we want more than music. At first, we tried to let things ease up a bit without necessarily putting a stop to the interaction. It is something that cannot be controlled among people who found common interests, situations, and peculiarities. I tried to avoid being in the slots of those admins who do not welcome these interactions. It came to a blow one morning when a new admin, who we would discover to be a brother of the founder, got our ire by his careless remarks towards the end of his slot. This led to comments posted by a friend and myself expressing exasperation over the uncharacteristic rudeness of the new admin in the last song he posted in his slot. After a few minutes the entire post was removed by the site administrator. I guess they saw apocalypse coming. We were gone about the same time and have not returned to the site since.  Surprisingly, the new admin no longer mans a slot in the site.

The following day, the more cooler heads of their admins appeared to be making appeals to get back to the site with an invitation to have more open interaction and fun. But we were too hurt and not biting the bait. But we needed an outlet for our songs and further the friendships started.

Initially, we were mimicking the admins of the site by posting songs in the walls of two friends and made sure that the admins of the site would see what we were doing…….. mean but we were mad. Sure enough, we got a reaction when one of the admins sent a sarcastic message to one of my friends . So we’re sure they were seeing what we were doing. We also can see what’s happening to the site. As soon as we left, it was like somebody died in there. They want it quiet. They surely got it.

With a yearning of a child who was robbed of his candy, we gave birth to our very own site, aptly called 24/7/11 ministop Fun Hot Muzic, on Thursday without any plans or program. When we first thought of the name and agreed on it, it is a spoof on the old site but essentially describes the environment we want in our site that there is a lot more to enjoying music than music itself. In no time, we were joined in by some other friends from the old site who might have missed our noise. They would shuttle back and forth the two sites. We found no problem with that but soon the other site’s admins appeared to have been affected as they branded their site as the Intelligent Choice…..whoa! My reaction was so intelligence is needed in appreciating music???!!! I don't have to overanalyze my music and simply clear my mind and closed my eyes to enjoy it.

Unprepared with the responsibility of managing a site, we were fumbling in the weekend on manning chores but managed just the same. It’s a good thing it was a long weekend as Friday was a holiday. Friends gave a lot of encouragement as more people joined the site, some are our friends who told us that they enjoy the music, some are unknown who might have stumbled on the site and liked it. We barely made it through the weekend with very little sleep.

Personally, I missed doing a number of chores due to this new development. But being a hardcore music lover, I needed an outlet and perhaps, it’s worth the sacrifice. There is still a lot to think about but for now, let me just enjoy sharing music……….

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