Damning the Philippines

Raison d'être

Though past my youth and hesitant to admit it, I was inspired by the writing of somebody young enough to be my daughter to say what I have been wanting to say for the past 20 years or so that I gained realization of what our country is and is not. I am talking about Patricia Evangelista (a speech communications major at UP bested 60 contestants from 37 other countries to win the 2004 Best Public Speaker competition in London) who made us proud when she won first place in the international competition on public speaking held in London in recent years. In her articles for the Editorial of the Philippine daily Inquirer, that girl has the guts to say what’s on her mind and beautifully that it hits you in the heart. Many of her writings are about life in the country in general.

I am wont to think not much have changed about our government after all this time even after two bloodless revolutions which removed oppressive leaders from office. But this is not a reason to be satisfied with the status quo by simply taking things as they are and not desiring change. Change could start from within.

My Unsung Heroes

I draw inspiration from ordinary people living full lives making a difference in other people’s lives. There have been countless times when Filipinos of obscure origin have made me proud by their feat in international competition and even in the mundane lives they lead. I hardly remember their names but their accomplishments remained vivid – like the public school teacher from Iloilo, Ms. Biyo, who competed for scientific research in the US with formidable opponents from developed countries, with only meager resources. She had to borrow a laptop from a co-participant, but emerged triumphant in that competition. Surprise of all surprises, she refused to be blinded by that victory and rejected offers from prestigious international academic organizations to make use of her talents because she was worried no one will teach her students in her beloved Iloilo. Depriving oneself for the greater good when your options are so wide open, for me, is the ultimate sacrifice for the country and fellowmen.

There is the story of an old woman, a slum-dweller herself, who welcomes neighbors and strangers in need into her home and shares whatever little amenities and food she has. In such dire conditions, the generosity of this woman shines amidst those hypocrites who flaunt donations of their bounty or loot in the guise of charitable cause.

Years ago, there was this account in a magazine of a mother, an ordinary woman, who brought her children to remote areas to read books to children. Poor kids eagerly awaited their visits to hear stories which perhaps were their only taste of education as their humble backgrounds would bear. What is truly amazing is that the woman did not have enough material resources to share but she shared her skills, time and compassion to people largely ignored by most of us. And quite literally remained anonymous doing her mission in life except perhaps for that accidental discovery of her deed.

There might be some other ordinary people who have answered to a greater calling in their lives and doing kind acts anonymously. It is no surprise that most kindred souls I know or encounter have no desire of recognition for their philanthropic acts but do these deeds routinely because of higher and noble motivations than most of us. Their satisfaction stems from doing the act itself. That is why they think nothing of the inconvenience of helping other people. That is true happiness emanating from a life of service to other people.

Surprisingly, these acts of kindness hardly make headline news. These are the people that should be our role models and yet our society remotely recognizes them and often ignores their noble acts. Quo vadis. The same society is abreast with what is happening to the brightest stars of the entertainment field or the latest scandals involving the scion of a politician. These are the stories that we are fed with on a regular basis.

Filipinos’ awe, sometimes hysteria, in stars’ achievements in the entertainment industry is perplexing. I am amazed as to how someone like Jasmine Trias could sing her way to the heart of the Filipinos on account of her third place finish in American Idol that she deserved to be feted by no less than by our President. I do not belittle her feat but please the girl can’t even speak our language. I wonder if she has any real attachment to this country except that she has relatives here whom she made proud because of her celebrity status. Now, whenever the popular hit American contest opens season, Filipinos are glued waiting for a qualifier with even the minutest of Filipino heritage in his blood. We need to reexamine our priorities. Lest we remain eternally clueless because our celebrity-filled senses could not grasp the difference between what is skin deep and what is essential.

Oasis in Another Land

This leads me to another observation. A lot of Filipinos can conveniently dispense with patriotism when push comes to shove. We can easily pack our bags and head for the nearest or available overseas destination. In this day and age, we cannot really fault them for the choices they make. Self-preservation is a great motivation. According to economic theories, men are rationale beings after who who pursue their own self-interest.

I am sure a lot of us have family members, friends, neighbors and acquaintances who left our country for better or worse to pursue their dreams and seek greener pasture in some foreign lands. Still, there are countless others waiting in the wings for their turns to leave pronto. What is appalling is how some of these people turn into – like they metamorphosed into totally different personas you have not known in your lifetime. I have first-hand accounts of how some of our fleeing countrymen made us who opted to stay behind feel less because they think this country is in a rut.

I have a sister and several relatives in the US, some more relatives in Germany, Netherlands and England. I have close friends and not so close ones in US, Canada, Hong Kong, Japan, and Italy. I have classmates spread out in different parts of the globe. From time to time, we hear news of people migrating to some faraway land – that is far away from the Philippines. I think mine is not an isolated case and we all have friends and relatives in different countries.

I do not mean to mock people who have chosen to leave for of lack of opportunities here or because a really good opportunity came up in another land. I will always respect people’s right of choice – be this in their choice of residence, profession, gender or way of life. I have no doubt in my mind that a lot more countries offer far better way of living with more job and income opportunities. What I lament is the way these people would treat or regard us who chose to stay. And I am talking about real people with real choices.

A close relative who was born and raised here for a good portion of her life seem so much detached from the realities here complaining about the heat, noise, pollution and traffic. She and her family came to my small house and brought with them stuffs ready to take over my refrigerator and counter space. The thing is I have most of the stuff they brought saved for some baby formula and foodstuffs. I honestly felt insulted by the gesture as if I was being made aware of the fact that since we are from a poor country, we could not probably afford to provide decent lodging and board for their family. Ouch, it hurts as if a dagger was shove through my heart. She even showed mocked surprise seeing my kids wearing designer jeans as if they are the only ones entitled to wear such outfits because they are from the US of A. Too bad that Filipinos are expected to be hospitable no matter how obnoxious their guests are. But I vow never to welcome them again into my humble abode for fear that my house would collapse under the strains of my ungrateful visitors’ presence.

In another instance, a college chum, upon coming home after a number of years of stay in the US complained loudly about the high prices of food stuff as if they were being duped. I am not really sure whether the prices are indeed high relative to prices in their country. But that is beside the point. There are various influences affecting inflation. Economic conditions greatly dictate the movement of prices in a country. It does not take one to be a great economist to see why prices are as they are here. Can’t we simply make little adjustments instead of boisterously complaining on the pretext of being a highly-regarded individual from a prosperous country in which everything is right. After all, she came here with full knowledge that the Philippines is not exactly the USA. I offer no excuse for our unscrupulous countrymen who take advantage of tourists and balikbayans. But anywhere else, these characters exist even in so called industrialized countries.

A friend and classmate, who has a good job here, director for a leading telecommunication company; whose kids are studying in a good public school (by choice because the school produces the cream of the crop); owns a house and some other properties in a decent subdivision, decided to migrate to a southern continent. First, her husband and some of their kids and soon she and the rest of the kids followed. No real problem with that. What I cannot comprehend is how she can have the nerve to despise a country that has given her so much in terms of opportunities, material wealth, services and decent living; giving me the impression that she has been wronged here and is never stepping foot again. All I hear her say is that this is not a good place to stay with the traffic, the government, and how living it is not safe here. She lived for probabaly half her life here, studied, worked, got married, had kids in the process. She and her family left this country whole and fully equipped to face the challenges of a new land. Where is the gratitude there?

Still, another classmate who used to be a friend, is another puzzle. Having worked for the government and a top country official, she intimated her great hatred for this country. I couldn’t even recall the reasons. But she told me she was training for a caregiver course to give her a headstart in Canada. I was dumbfounded, here she was working for the government and telling me there was nothing she could do about the way things are in the government. I wonder why? The government has very little resources to accomplish its gargantuan task of paternity to its citizen but as a public servant you can always choose to make a difference in your own small way. This same classmate wanted to know if I have plans of migrating. When I said no because I have a good life and job here. she probably thought I was crazy. After all, her brother who is an engineer and is married to a doctor, is also planning to leave. Talk about logic.

My Own Prejudices

So am I jaded or have I developed my own prejudices over the years? I hope not as I have always seen myself as the eternal optimist who chooses to see the good side of people and the positive side of things. Perhaps, I might be getting old as I am getting impatient dealing with these people. Of course, one might argue it is a matter of personal opinion. And lest this be mistaken as a hate piece for Filipinos who left or is planning to leave the country, I would like to point out this is not what this is all about.

Because we cannot help but encounter people like these in our lives, we may grow disillusioned and may even be swayed by their arguments. They come here every Christmas, holy week, all saint’s day, summer vacation, birth or death of a relative. Some of the people mentioned have remained friends inspite of things said and everytime they are here we still get together. There is nothing I can do about relatives even if they have gone astray and annoyingly critical. By blood affinity, I have to endure their rhetoric every time we get together in family gatherings. So be it.

Giving Back

Surely, there are also friends and people who have come and gone and always go back home to give back. One of my closest friends, an expatriate in Hong Kong, worked there for about ten years and even brought her family there but always seems raring to go back. She and her family never fail to come home every time they can. And always they bring back part of themselves that make it a delight to know that there are remaining overseas Pinoys who remain in love with this country and its queers – these can be through her pasalubongs to her delighted family and friends (myself included), her investments in a dwelling here, her bringing back her kids to study here, her plans to put up a business and her eventual plan to retire here. Of course, these plans might change depending on the opportunities that present themselves. There was a time they were planning to migrate to Canada and eventually the US. Nothing is certain. But the wonderful thing about her and her family is that they have remained Filipino at heart. And they make us feel that they are truly at home whenever they are here.

Another friend is a CEO and a managing partner of a foreign market research firm. She has been all around the globe for business and leisure. She is overworked and underpaid by her own admission. Her husband owns a small business. They own their house and she manages to send her kids to a good private school. She has relatives in foreign countries. One of her siblings is in a southern country. We bond with each other since we share a love for this country and are appalled at Filipinos who badmouth this country. She can easily leave this country because with her talents and attitude, she is an asset to any organization anywhere in the world. And she and her family have been globe trotting so how hard would it be for her to pack her bags and bring her family abroad. But no, she has clearly made her choice. She is staking her and her family’s future in this forlorn country.

A prominent lawyer whom I met recently, is another Filipino who wants to help Filipinos. I asked him pointblank if are he is one of those Filipinos who plan to stay in the Philippines. He said yes without batting his eyelashes… He basked in the klieg lights working for a top brass law firm in his prime. A successful lawyer who handled celebrated cases in the past, he has grown disillusioned and decided to leave the corporate world to become a farmer. Fortunately, the law’s loss is agriculture’s gain. A visit at his farm where they raise chickens, tilapia , even eagles, hawks, monitor lizards, iguanas, deers, aramayna, alligator-faced fish and other exotic animals is a commune with nature and a revelation of the continuity of the circle of life in such simple and serene surroundings. Advocated as going back to basics, this lawyer turned farmer has developed and is promoting a technology that make use of ecological balance in his farm. As a result, his chickens are bigger, heavier and can be harvested in a shorter period of time. Amazingly, he has given simple folks a decent way of life by giving a hefty salary (that would rival the package of salaried managerial staff who works in urban centers) to his workers plus generous benefits. The added perk is he treats his workers nicely. Which leads me to another observation, great people treat other people fairly.

Reality Bites

One might think that my choice is easy because I am one of the lucky few who are materially blest. Believe me, I am not. I am a struggling income earner who is in a quandary right now as to how I could earn enough money to pay the monthly amortization from a loan I hope to get in order to make my house bigger and more liveable for my growing brood of three children all studying in a decent private school. My two older daughters have been openly complaining about how small our house is. One of these daughters even intimated that they cannot invite classmates to do school projects at home because a group of five regular and some up-sized six graders would not be able to work conducively in our home. My salary is not enough to cover the monthly amortization. My husband’s salary is barely enough to cover our cost of living. Something’s got to give. As of this writing, I have returned to active service after a brief interlude with retirement so we could pay off our monthly amortization for our dream house.

I have had my taste of living abroad for short periods of time. Yes, it was wonderful to see Tokyo’s magnificent and architecturally aesthetic clean city, Taiwan’s progressive industry, Thailand’s amazing infrastructure and booming industry, Singapore’s well structured buildings and clean as a whistle roads, Hong Kong’s tapestry of lights as you descend its skies at night and even Nepal’s cool and magnificent mountains. Yes, I’ve been to all these places and had fond memories of my stay in these places. I have developed friendships with people of different nationalities and it’s truly gratifying to have such ties.

Now why am I telling this story about my relatives and family to all? It is not just because I want to criticize people nor uphold some which I emulate. It is not because I want these people to change their perspective in life because I know I cannot do that. What is in it for me, really? I have no straight and definite answer. As mentioned, a bit of inspiration steered in my direction that I was able to squeeze my creative juices for this piece. If in the course of writing this piece, there would be people who would care enough to read what I have to say and hopefully show some concern for our country, then I have attained my objective.

This country will be in a rut for as long as there are people who think so. I cannot make miracles and single-handedly lift this country out of its sorry state. I cannot ask all Filipinos to stop leaving the Philippines. But I have chosen to hope and try to attempt to change people’s perspectiv my way. Still a tall order for a nobody like me but there is no harm in trying. I want to do this because I do not want to end up regretting that I did not lift a finger when I still can.

Making a Choice

The choice between leaving and staying might not be available for all as there is really no choice for some. Let us recognize and respect that. It is about respecting choices, being responsible for your actions and LOVING YOUR COUNTRY.

Not once have I been asked if I want to migrate in another country. So far, my answer have always been consistently negative. My family is deeply rooted here. I am enjoying what I do even if sometimes my job sucks. Who knows? That answer can also change. I am bothered why such response could not elicit encouragement or satisfaction from the inquisitor. Some people could not even hide their doubt as to the sincerity of my response. A couple of classmates had to point out that there are far better opportunities in another land as if I didn't know better.

At the heat of the discussion, arguing would do no one any good. To some, the Philippines is a goner. And there are a gazillion reasons to think that way. The ills of this country is so glaringly clear. What is hard to admit is your part in making this country as such - what you did and what you did not do. I do not mean for people to become heroes or martyrs but simple acts of courage can make it a good place to live in – whether this be in the words you say to others, how you treat your household members, how you assisted someone in need or simply leading a life grounded on values. Your wealth or status in life becomes immaterial. By these simple acts of patriotism, people feel better after an encounter with you. A favorite quotation sums this up, “ Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, they send forth a ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, this ripples builds a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”

Didn’t the great John F. Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.” Time and again, we hear that there is no better time to say this than now when our country needs us. It does not matter whether you are in the country or not. Love of country is non-negotiable wherever you are.

Just because people think everything is wrong in this country, please don’t expect that I should change my views. I will admit that I have had my shares of woes and will continue to experience some difficult times ahead. Frankly speaking, I have been disappointed with our government, some of our authorities and other known personalities and at times find some Filipinos pathetic. But you see life has a way of balancing things for me because my best experiences also happened in this country. I am not popular, rich or exceptionally intelligent by any standards but my school life, my work life and most importantly my family and personal life, though peppered with the usual ups and downs, have been gratifying. I have chosen to turn these personal experiences into valuable lessons so I don’t go on living with excess baggage. I am not being melancholic but have found my contentment and peace here. Simple pleasures derived from simple living. I cannot ask for more.

A Question of Loyalty

Before you pledge allegiance to any country, think long and hard. Allegiance entails loyalty. If you cannot even be loyal to your motherland, how can you pledge loyalty to another? It might be able to provide you with what you desire now. What about the future? Do you vow to stay loyal to a country even if it could no longer provide opportunities to you? Can you honestly answr this question?

Let me end this piece with the following quote, “Beware the lure of the distant and of the difficult and deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.“(John Burroughs). I am currently on a personal mission to encourage friends to stay for the good of the country. Success has not come easily but I am making small progress. Two of friends with plans to leave are now reconsidering those plans and talking about their future here. Another friend told me very recently she was touched as she heard me talk passionately to one of the subjects of this article on the need for more Filipinos to love this country and doing the ultimate sacrifice of staying when the going gets rough. So it seems that all is not lost when the only hope still rests with us.