Letter to My Daughter

I had this task which I had been postponing for the longest time. Today is the last chance I get to write this letter for my daughter on their retreat. The retreat was supposed to be held last month. Due to unforseen event, it was moved to tomorrow and will be until Sunday where the parents are supposed to participate in the culminating activity.

About three weeks before the retreat, I got a call from a student assigned to call
the parents of retreat participant reminding them to prepare a retreat letter to their daughter or son who will be participating in the retreat. These letters are supposed to be secretly given to the guard posted at the high school gate which will be turned over to the advisers of the senior classes. I had this in mind but kept procrastinating telling myself I could easily whip up one in a jiffy.

My son had his own retreat last month. I was better prepared with this. His retreat letters were sent to his adviser on time. This daughter would sometimes hint that my son is my favorite. I have always protested this insinuation. But with this miscue on my part, how could I defend my position..... Because I was late in preparing the letter, my daughter had to bring her own letter to the retreat...... sigh.... my irresponsibility....

It is not because the letter is simply a school requirement. It is not because it is meant for a loved one. But to be honest, it is easier to write a letter to a friend, a colleague or an acquiantance than say what I really want to say to my own daughter. What do you say to someone you see everyday? It's not because I take the relationship for granted. I don't..... We may be casual in expressing affection ........sometimes feeling awkward in showing too much sweetness..... as it is just not our way.

The chance to reveal what is inside of me comes very rare for this mum....... I am not saying we do not encounter problems. We are a fairly normal family with our own unique problems. Most of the time, however, we would be too preoccupied with the issues of the moment and objectivity had to be exercised most of the time..... No time to be emotional or we would always feel so hung up. In this environ, it's not easy to express affection that is assumed to exist unnoticed in a family... like the air we breathe which we take for granted until it changes.... like when someone farts.... then everyone scampers....

I realized now that the retlet, as my daughters would call it, is one letter that is not so easy for me to prepare. I want it to be poignant without being cheesy. I want a certain lightness that would not be mistaken for not being heartfelt. I want to connect and communicate without being preachy. I want it to be upbeat without trying too hard.........

But really all I want to say is that I could not ask for a better daughter because I got the best one........ Of course, I say this to all my three kids as if each one is my only one........

Have a meaningful retreat, MD..... Mummy will miss you....

Postscript:
To all readers of this post, here is the actual letter to my daughter shared in a later post, Real Deal.

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