August 31 - September 6, 2009: True Colors

"Action speaks louder than words." This is one thing I learned from my facilitation seminar last week. It's not the words or voice that matters when you are speaking. It is not new knowledge but we were surprise that even in public speaking one becomes credible not because of the words you are imparting but because of your gestures and body language. Your audience will know whether or not you practice what you're saying.....

This week I would see this point.....

I had this email exchange with my boss recently resulting in my unearthing her real position on my issue. It seems she is also playing politics kotowing to what is popular. What is popular may not always be right. I have always been adamant about what I asked from the superiors of this office. It seems she has been swayed as well. By her own admission, resistance is so strong and she is is not as strong.... It appears I lost my grounds with her..... I am back to square one.

In the past, she made me feel as if she understood and she would be objective. When backstabbing is the name of the game, I'd concede readily. It's not my game. Who can blame her? She is a temporary replacement who is also unsure of her place here.... Save for her close association with a superior who has fallen from grace, her position is also precarious especially with the impending reorganization. One way or another, something has to give.....

At the homefront, I would also discover to my dismay the real person in the neighbor I consider a friend. My boy helper intimated to me that my neighbor instructed their boy helper to pull the vines that crawled through side of their property adjacent to my pocket garden and threw these vines in our garden. Their boy helper also pushed down my favorite bamboo plant destroying the new growths and some poles. It was raining hard when her boy helper did this. He was also the one who revealed to my boy helper that it was my neighbor's instructions. I was truly dismayed learning this. Even my boy helper knew exactly what to say as he told my neighbor's boy helper that they could have just told us and we'd be glad to clean up the intruding vines or bamboo poles.... As to why she would do this in our absence and in such manner is still a mystery to me. Besides, we agreed to keep that side of the property open because that is where we would exchange food fares during Christmas and other special occassions..... that is where we would usually share stories on those idle times...... The opening is also the passage way of her kids and her helpers whenever they have been locked out. I was also thinking that I can share with them the beauty and tranquility of a nice graden, my paradise.

There were other stories from my boy helper and my other helpers. My boy helper also told me that my neighbor would also prohibit his boy helper from giving camote stalks from their vegetable garden when my boy helper was asking for some to plant in our newly plowed vegetable garden. The same camote plant came from our own camote plant. My other helper on the other hand would tell me that my neighbor would not speak to them in a good way and would snub them always. This helper once went out with the former helper of my neighbor and spent the night in the barracks of the former construction workers of my home in another project. I wasn't mad because my helper spent the night as I believe she is responsible for her actions. I was mad because she did not ask permission to spend the night. I have forgiven my helper who to her credit have not repeated the same thing. My neighbor, on the other hand, let go of her helper. There have been several replacements for the her 'erring' helper since then. I am not painting any picture here. I am just trying to understand my neighbor's actuations towards my helpers. I may not understand why but maybe she still holds a grudge against my helper.

I would meet her on the road on the same morning that my boy helper told me about the incident while I was walking to go to work. I was trying to sense if there was bad blood between us. She pulled up and engaged me in a conversation like there was nothing. I still couldn't get over the bad feeling even after that conversation.

I went home early on the last workweek only to do something I regret later. MS was acting up and said something that got my goat. I hit him where I should not. Tearfully, he apologized attempting to tell me that physical punishment is not good. I said sorry to him too painfully explaining to him how bad his words were. We ended up hugging each other. I was jolted by what I did. MS was deprived of his computer privileges as punishment. He took it well saying he could live with it. What about me? I got my own punishment thinking about what I did and regretting it..... Guilt-stricken, I would tell hubby about it and I would get another scolding.......

Rains was dumped on us in the weekend. Laundry chore was definitely off. The new helper would be so preoccupied hanging the clothes and getting it off the clothesline. The other helper would cook mostly during this extended weekend. The kids would crave for champorado which we have not had for a long time. It sounded good on a rainy weekend and we had that for two days. I took care of dog grooming. Our boy helper would help me after tending to hubby's birds.

Hubby would host a meeting for his new pals, newbie bird hobbyists. ED and MD would go out to party with their friends. The rest of the weekend, they are either reading their books or surfing the net. I would tutor MS on the laws of exponents as part of reparation of an errant mum. I let him use the pc on a limited time to further make it up to him.......

I actually stayed home the entire weekend contemplating.........