September 28 - October 4, 2009: Aftermath of the Perfect Flood

Classes were suspended for the whole week....... initially just until Tuesday. After due consideration by the concerned authorities, it was deemed best to suspend classes for the whole week........ Some schools would be used for relief efforts. The break will give devastated families a time to recover whatever they can; to grieve for their departed loved ones and losses; and to try to make sense of why this calamity befell us.... I was hoping work would be suspended too ....... to give those affected a time to rise up and get on with life. To the lucky ones like us, it is a time to share whatever we can.... In the face of this calamity, we should give till it hurts......

I was off to work on Monday when I received a text message from an officemate telling me that there was no electricity in our building and employees from another office were sent home. I stopped on my tracks unsure what to do. I tried calling her but for some reason she was dropping my calls. I texted our boss who replied that if the other employees were being sent home, then we maybe we could go home too. Even with the uncertainty of that reply, I turned around and walked home as there was a feeling of emptiness gnawing inside of me. Reaching home, I kept tuned in to the news on the typhoon's aftermath both on TV and on the PC.

As victims tried to rebuild their lives and make a sense of what struck them, two other storms were a-brewing. As Tropical Storm Pepeng (International name: Parma)packing winds of 120 kph entered the Philippine area of responsibility, another weather system with the international name "Melor" was located in the Pacific Ocean east of the Philippines. Malacanang called for prayers as if admitting that the government burdened with relief efforts could not handle the another disaster.

In other parts of Southeast Asia, Typhoon Ondoy with international name "Ketsana" continued to rampage Vietnam, Laos, and Cambodia as floodings killed hundreds. A series of tsunamis smashed into the Pacific island nations of American and Western Samoa after an 8.0 magnitute undersea earthquake struck in American Samoa........ killing hundreds, destroying properties, and forcing inhihabitants to seek higher grounds. Sumatra in Indonesia would be struck by two successive earthquakes with magnitudes of 7.9 and 6.8 trapping people in clollapsed buildings and causing a black out in the entire area. Reports put the casulaties at 467 with many unaccounted for as scores remain trapped in the collapsed buildings.

Is God's wrath befalling us?

Images of the storm's aftermath continued to play over and over on TV. It's too much to bear..... Yet, I can't help but watch it. I rode a bus for the whole week to be tuned in to the news. One time, a bus was playing a movie video and I went down to ride another bus just so I could be tuned in to the news. One particular image which I kept replaying in my mind is that of a family on a roof sailing in rampaging floodwaters. The scene was like that we see in the movies but this one is for real..... One cannot help but agonize over the family trapped in that dire situation holding on to life. What the father and mother could be feeling at that exact moment is beyond anything I could have felt in my life....



I can actualy breathe misery and despair in the air these days. My faith is being put to the test....

Yet, it was the perfect flood to bring the best and worst in people. As usual, our government and their apologists were in unison in rationalizing their obvious unpreparedness in handling disasters putting the blame on nature's wrath. Help came alright, albeit late and inadequate. Private citizens had to take matters into their own hands. An email circulating tells of an account of a man who had to buy a boat and was actually the first one to arrive at Provident Village to rescue his brother and his family and their dad. Celebrities helped stars trapped in their homes. The private sector led the efforts in relief operations with scores of volunteers doing their part to make sure that the victims receive timely aid for their survival and sustenance in the coming days. Individuals scoured their closets and pantries for anything that could still be used by the flood victims. Even victims who felt blest enough to survive the floods shared whatever they can saying they were affected but otheres are in much direr straits. Yes, we are a compassionate people.........

Then, there was the mad scramble for relief goods in areas not easily reached by donors. There are the usual suspicions on some officials stealing relief goods to resell them to victims. There were the victims themselves selfishly hoarding the goods at the expense of other victims.

But Filipinos can managed to smile amidst his misery. Blame it on our fatalistic
attitude to blindly accept everything that happens as inevitable. Maybe. the eternal optimist in us can see the silver lining in downcast skies. We take such misfortune as part of life and strive to move on. Maybe we have been used to so much disasters that we have developed the capacity to look beyond what is clearly at hand. Maybe, there are no more tears to cry when your eyes are red and dry from crying from our so-called life..........

When news of Typhoon Peping came about, there was fear in everyone's heart. It's like waiting for doomsday. I had that eerie feeling as I went home early and hurriedly walked to catch the shuttle service provided by our office that Friday. Once inside, we all braced ourselves for a long journey ahead recalling similar experiences in the past where we got stranded for hours because of floods.

Before midnight on Friday, I got a text message from my nephew telling me that Typhoon Peping veered away sparing Metro Manila. Before that, several text messages came on preparations in case Peping hits and calls for prayers. Maybe heavens heard our call for help with the uneasiness of a distressed citizenry who hasn't quite risen up, over a government that cannot protect nor help us.

In the weekend, we all sighed relief as Peping's winds became just a cool breeze for Manilans. Relief efforts continued and will continue in the days to come. Northeren Luzon, however, was not spared by Typhoon Peping which continues to wreck havoc by the week's end......... Reeling from one disaster, a friend texted asking for prayers for her family in Tuguegarao as the storm battered them........

Lessons are best learned not through the minds but when our hearts are pierced.

Related Posts:
Pagasa: Typhoon ‘Melor’ dictating path of ‘Pepeng’
Typhoon Pepeng (Parma) Moving Towards N. Luzon
Villages 'wiped out' by tsunami after Samoa quake
Second earthquake hits stricken Sumatra

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September 21 - 27, 2009: Leak on My Window

I can hardly remember anything that happened this week that would forever be etched in my mind except images of the widespread devastation and the waterworld that Metro Manila and neighboring towns have become because of Typhoon Ondoy.

Well, Monday was a non-working holiday because of the end of Ramadan. I could not savor anymore the rest it gave me because many of my fellowmen have not had any rest since Typhoon Ondoy's started pounding us Friday evening. I guess the rest of the week was uneventful.

ED and I were supposed to meet up to go home together. She said, however, she wanted to go home and I need to wait some more time before I can go home. I told her to go ahead. I am thankful I did because by the time I went home, rains started pouring. I had a hard time getting a ride and when I reached the bus station, it was raining hard and a lot of us commuters were struggling to get a ride. ED texted that she was home after some time. I saw an officemate and we managed to get inside a bus as people scrambled to get inside. Rains continuously fell with relief at some points. I managed to get home taking advantage of one such lull.

I had dinner, changed clothes, watched TV and went to sleep. I was happy and felt secured that all of us were home safe on a rainy Friday evening. I slept soundly in my room with windows shut to be roused briefly by torrential rains and winds shaking our sliding door.

The torrential rains continued to rage till the next day. It dawned on me that with
the wind, water would leak through the sliding door and seep onto my bedroom floor. By midday, damage to my floor was apparent as water leaked through the sliding door soaking my hardwood floor. Water is the worst nemesis of hardwood floors. My boy helper would soon be alternately moping the water from the bedroom floor and the tiled corrigor outside my bedroom. My other maid would also be moping the granite floor in our living room because of water dripping from the front oversized windows. My concern was the hardwood floor. This wasn't the first time it got soak in water. It will happened when rains and strong winds would pound on the sliding door. I would later mop the problematic floors in my bedroom and corridor while cleaning my bathroom on a stormy day. This was to be the chore for the rest of the day.

We managed to go to our usual anticipated mass inspite of the increment weather. There were few people in the church..... probably too lazy or too distressed from all the cleaning they had to do. We went home and had dinner.

I was in bed watching TV while the kids were doing their own thing on the laptop or pc. Then, I received a distress text message from a former co-professor asking to
be rescued. She and her family which include a 6-year old child and a 5-day old baby were trapped in the second floor of their home and floodwater was about to reach them. I jerked from the bed, got up, and called ED who was tuned to the news on her laptop and asked for emergency or rescue hotlines. I told her that my friend and her family were trapped. ED, MD, and I would huddle together in my bedroom as I realized how severe the effect of the typhoon was. I switched channels and there on TV were scenes of the devastation of the typhoon. I told ED to call my niece in QC and to call rescue for my friend on the landline. I started texting the rescue hotlines on my mobile as I continued to watch footages of the typhoon destruction. Getting through the numbers was a mean feat. We couldn't call the landlines and it took some time before the text messages went through. Shaken from the realization of the fate of people suffering from the typhoon, I slept through the night expecting the worst..... We were thinking that electricity might be cut. Fortunately, no such thing happened.

I woke up on Sunday with the skies clearing up which gave us some hope. I was praying for the rains to stop. We monitored the events on TV and the widespread devastation, the loss of lives, and the anguish of the typhoon victims were too much to bear..... I cringed at the sight. I had to stop watching as I couldn't bear to see anymore.........

The sun shone briefly to be disrupted by rains here and there. I received a call from MIL's friend inquiring about her. She was in BIL's home in Marikina. I assured her that they must be ok although we haven't heard from them because the lines appeared cut. They are in a hilly portion of Marikina so I assumed floods did not reach their place. Besides, if there was cause for panic, I am sure that they would have evacuated to our home. My SIL in the US was also calling because she can't get through to MIL in Marikina. We also couldn't get through their and my brother's phones which we had been calling since the night before. I called my friend V....... to ask how she was and was glad to know she's fine. Like me, she has yet to hear from some of her relatives in the affected areas.

I tried to make things normal in the household but it felt different. I managed to go out to buy some stuff for my dogs while hubby and the kids went to the supermarket to buy foodstuff for the week. I would pass by a portion of a subdivision submerged in high waters......... the road was covered in muck with garbage strewn all over. Doors of houses were opened. Some people were cleaning while some were just sitting and staring blankly probably too distressed from enduring a night wading in floodwaters. The few vehicles passing by made our way slowly through the muddy road. The sight made me feel uneasy...... How much more where waters engulfed an entire town or city, I thought to myself......

I went home after buying the pet stuff. On my way home, I texted my friend V....... who lives along the route I was trekking. She was in the mall buying stuff. When I was near my home she would call and she was driving in the area. We agreed to meet at my home. We had coffee and talked reflecting on how lucky we are not to suffer the fate of those in the affected areas. Like me, she was not aware of the widespread devastation brought by the typhoon until evening of Saturday. She went home after some time. Hubby and kids would arrive and we would have dinner shortly.

After cleaning up, we would all retire to our bedrooms. Announcements were made on the suspension of classes.......... so the kids can stay late. I went to my bedroom and looked at my hardwood floor now swollen....... surely damage was apparent. I thought to myself thank You for only damaging floors because I realized my family was spared from the wrath of Typhoon Ondoy. We slept soundly through the night while others never made it home.......... some others were probably awake all night stranded in their homes fearful for their lives........ some others were swept by raging floodwaters in their homes........

Damages in my home always put me in a bad mood.......... This time, I am thankful for the leaks in the windows and the damaged floors........ These are gentle reminders that there are far more important things in life I should be concerned about. It would probably take sometime before the leaky windows and damaged floors can be repaired. There are doors, cabinets, peeled paint that need fixing too.......... Then again, many lost their homes, belongings, their life ..... What is left are just shattered dreams, broken spirits, and lives that will never be the same again..... Thank God I only have damaged floors..........

For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV
Related posts:
Typhoon Ondoy
Ondoy, You Fucking Asshole
Typhoon Ondoy: The Aftermath Photos
Metro Manila Flooding due to Typhoon Ondoy
Have You Tried Going to the Grocery after Typhoon Ondoy
About Damaged Hardwood Floors

The victims need to rebuild their lives. Please help till it hurts!

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Help for Typhoon Ondoy's Victims

Some are missing, some remain unaccounted for, dozens perished, some were hurt, many are in evacuation centers while others are still trapped in their homes. They need our help.......

I am posting this appeal for assistance for Typhoon Ondoy's victims from Barrio Siete. Please visit their site if you would like to donate to this cause.

My fellow bloggers, readers and lurkers; it breaks our heart seeing all these images and watching the videos coming from Manila – the wrath and devastation not only to properties but also to the lives of our fellow Filipinos. Tropical typhoon Ondoy is not only creating havoc but also bringing epic floods in the Metropolitan Manila area.

In the spirit of Barrio Siete, I invite you all to join our Bayanihan Fund Drive: Donate to Ondoy Flood Victims. Very simply:

1.) Make a donation to our Bayanihan Fund Drive: Donate to Ondoy Flood Victims. If you can’t, then help us by making this viral and create an entry entitled: “Bayanihan Fund Drive: Donate to Ondoy Flood Victims“. A link to this original entry will be appreciated where your readers can make a donation. Please leave us a note in the comment section if you are joining so we can list your entry, in case the pingback doesn’t work.

2.) Invite other bloggers to join our “Bayanihan Fund Drive: Donate to Ondoy Flood Victims”

3.) We will list the names of the donors in a worksheet, their organization and/or their websites, unless they prefer to be anonymous.

4.) The listing will be updated regularly and will be posted here in Barrio Siete Dot com.

5.) We are only accepting monetary donations in currencies accepted by Paypal.

6.) All donations will be remitted only to the Philippine National Red Cross in Manila. (We have not made any contact with them yet.)

7.) If you prefer: You can make donations directly to the Philippine National Red Cross. Here is the link: Ways to donate

In Barrio Siete, this is where you can make your donation. We will in turn, turn this over to the Philippine National Red Cross.

God please help us cope up with this latest tragedy! God bless our nation.

Thanks for the tag Mahalia.


Related Posts:
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Typhoon Ondoy displaces 153 families
Typhoon Ondoy flood the streets of Metro Manila

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Woes of a Middle Child

Like a child, I read with glee the reply of MD to my retlet telling me she was so delighted with my letter and proudly showed my letter to her friends. Her friends think she took after me in the crazy department.

I thought that sibling rivalry is non-existent in my household as my kids get along pretty well..... Well, relatively.......... compared to me and my siblings when we were younger and even till now I guess. Although as toddlers, ED would manifest some insecurity after the birth of MD. As a toddler, I left MD with her Dad when I got a language scholarship for six months in Japan. When I returned, MS was born soon after. Among my children, MD would not sleep with me as long as the other two kids.

Inspite of this, MD grew to be a well-balanced lady, sociable and amiable; popular, responsible, and is often given a big responsibility in school. Contrary to the popular notion that the middle child tend to be less ambitious and confident compared to older sibling, MD seems to disprove this point as evidenced by her good showing in school. There would be ways where she and ED would differ. Between ED and her, she seemed to possess more leadership qualities evidenced by her holding responsible positions in their school. They went to the same school and comparisons cannot be avoided. Somehow, ED raised the bar for her siblings to follow in the smarts department.

Parents tend to be much more easy-going, less anxious, and less demanding with second and third children. Thus many middle children grow up with a more relaxed attitude towards life than their older siblings; though they have to compete for family attention against the milestones set by the oldest, and growing up in their shadow. Middle children have to try a little harder to “be heard” or get noticed. The middle child usually has to fight harder for the attention of their parents and therefore crave the family spotlight. They may feel that they do not get as much praise as the older children for simple firsts like tying a shoe or riding a bike. Those things just become expected.

In MD's letter to me, she was surprised that I am proud of her despite not getting the honor she deserved in her elementary years because of their dirty school politics. She figured in a controversy involving a classmate jeered by their entire class and she and another classmate were pointed to as the mastermind as reported by the mom of that classmate. MD denied she instigated the whole thing but admitted to being part of the class who jeered the classmate. Surely, she got it from me. In the aftermath, the teachers and the guidance counselor would gang up on my daughter and would make the incident part of her record. Upon knowing this, I would threaten the faculty members and the guidance counselor involved of reporting to the DepEd (formerly DECS) the impropriety of the action undertaken against my daughter and the other 'erring' classmate if the incident won't be stricken off my daughter's record. Prior to this, MD was a consistent awardee in both conduct and academics in all her elementary years except that last year. The teachers buckled but MD not landing in the honor roll was the repercussion. MD was ranked 16th. 15th is the last student qualified for honors and that would be the classmate who reported MD and her other classmate.

We have always told them them that the recognition is not the important thing as it is the manner by which they would strive to get the honor. In this, MD would always be an honor student to me as I told her in my retlet. It seems, however, that this unfortunate event would scar her for life as she related in her letter that she is trying her darndest best to land in the honor roll this time. She would stop short of apologizing for that 'finish' in her elementary years saying she's sorry she is not as good as ED. I think the retlet assured her that she will be the best for me no matter what.

It is not only with ED that she would compare herself. She would also apologize for not being as sweet as MS. Among the kids, MS would be very demonstrative with his affection especially when either I or Hubby is sick. Maybe, it's his being young that makes him more open to expressing his emotions. As children grow older, they become less demonstrative of their affection.

We have three children.......... we have an eldest, a middle child, and the youngest. I know but am not acutely aware of the differences in the my children because I thought we have always treated all of them equally... But maybe, we would favor the youngest one when it appears he's been 'bullied'. Don't parents all do that......... Come to think of it, even posts on my children are mostly about ED or MS. So I am guilty too.......

Middle children share the advantages of both the older siblings as well as the younger ones. They often become good mediators and negotiators. They are not the oldest, so they didn't have to live up to any expectations. They are not the youngest, so they are not bullied as much. They have the the best of both worlds.

MD's letter would somehow tell me that even in a fairly normal household, the middle child syndrome is a reality that parents must deal with. Unless we take heed of the musings of a middle children, they may take this a wrong signal from parents that not much is expected from them and they would live their lives feeling unimportant, neglected, and lonely. Such feelings can feed a feeling of inability to reach their full potential disabling them in reaching their goals.

The implications are much more great to the family and the society that they live in...... I am inclined to make MD not fall into the norm and make the MC syndrome non-existent in this household through thick and thin.

Related Posts:
What are the effects of ‘middle child syndrome’?
What is the middle child syndrome?
Is there Something Called the Middle Child Syndrome?
The Effects of Middle Child Syndrome
Birth Order

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September 14 - 21, 2009: In Sickness

Finally the sun was up.....

Early Monday morning, I was all dressed up to go....... ED was running a fever.......... MD was on a break because of their weekend retreat..... our new helper hasn't arrived from her day-off........ my boy helper texted my other helper that he would be late because he will finally see the dentist ........ The day was foreboding me to take a leave......... a migraine surely came in handy....Suddenly I had a migraine and had to call in sick......... It was good that I took a leave as the new helper took off after coming home leaving her and her daughter's clothes and salary advances.

ED felt better and went to school the following day.

The extra restday must have done me good as I felt gay when I reported to work the following day even playing up to kids who called me Darna...... or was it Narda because maybe they saw me limping. The feeling continued till I reached the office. It was the usual routine for this lowly public servant.... My boss followed up on some stuff.........

In the middle of the week, I was asked by the boss to join in the budget hearing at the Congress. The 3:00pm budget hearing was reset to 5:00pm. Upon arrival at the venue, we were told that the session will be further delayed and that we would start at 7:00pm leading a colleague to remark that our Honorable Representatives were on time with their delay when the previous session ended at 7:00pm. A colleague asked me to take down issues raised by the congressmen. While at it, I texted MD that I would go home late and won't have dinner there. She texted me that she and her Dad were on their way to the hospital. I asked why. She said that she was running a fever and that she was sent home from school. My heart went a-putter and I wanted to go home. Congress is so far away, however, and I actually do not know how to go home from there. I wonder why they had to locate it in a far-flung area...... to evade assassins.... The session would be finish around 11:00pm. The boss decided that we should have dinner before heading home. I was at their mercy and had no choice. So dinner we had.... after which we finally headed home.

My collegues were going to the wake of the mom of our boss, the one reassigned to another office. A colleague from the office where she is reassigned texted me in the weekend egging me to go to the wake. The funeral home is actually near my place. I told her I'd rather not as it would be awkward for both of us. I told her my prayers for the departed will suffice. My falling out with the boss is no secret....... When we reached the funeral home, my colleagues went inside while the driver brought me to my disembarkation point.

MD was asleep when I got home. I held her and her temperature was high. I rubbed metholated oil on her back and chest. Then, I went to bed.....

MD had to skip her classes the following day and even after that. She not only was nursing a fever, she had diarrhea too. I myself am not feeling well but went to work anyway. By weekend, I would feel worst. MD is still not back to her old self. Thank goodness, this is another extended weekend with the celebration of the end of Ramadan. We could both rest.

In this state, I attended a kid's party with MS at Jollibee on Saturday. It's been a while since I had a burger at Jolibee.... I was kinda excited..... MD begged off as her stomach was still upet. ED decided to stay home too. Hubby's weekend is now devoted to his bird club activities.

The rest of the week, I took things easy but still managed to do my chores. MD took her college entrance exams at Ateneo on Sunday. Missing our usual Saturday anticipated mass, ED, MS, and I went to Church on Sunday afternoon. MD would soon join us. Hubby went home as he was able to go to mass earlier.

I thought that this was going to be one pleasant week when sun finally shone on us.... I had to deal with illness in my household this week.....

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September 7 - 13, 2009: Deluged

Rains continued to be dumped this week.

Monday provided a breather with a surprise announcement by Malacanang declaring the day as a non-working holiday to observe the national mourning of the erstwhile INC leader Ka Erdy Manalo who will be interred on that day. I am wondering aloud how many more holidays will declared for departed leaders of religious congregations.... I guess it will depend on the number of voters, I mean followers. So will Brother Eddie V..... with his 5 million and growing exponentially through the power of networking......... get the same honor when the time comes? Let's see....

By midweek, it was obvious that nothing much can be done about chores that require sunshine. Laundry became a chore that had to be ditched momentarily...... lest we end up with soggy and smelly clothes. Even the house smells like dogs as they cannot take a bath in the midweek.

Thursday provided a relief from the tortuous rains......

My boy helper would call in sick because of a sore tooth. In pain, he dropped by the house to feed the birds. This is the second time he has this problem. The first time he had this toothache, his face swelled and the pseudo-doctor in me advised him to take antibiotics. I ensured that he bought the medicines and that he took it and advised him to have the problem tooth extracted as soon as the infection was gone. I guess the advice wasn't followed strictly as the problem is back. He said he is afraid of dentist. I had to be harsh this time and explained to him the consequences if he let the problem persist. There are people who having experience temporary relief think that the problem is gone even when the real problem has not been solved. They settle for instant gratification when you could delay it a bit and opt for the real solution. Much like a poor person having money........... the initial response is to consume........consume it all on things that satisfy the baser needs rather than spend it on something that would have a multiplier effect on living the rest of his life.

With the respite from the rains, my new helper was finally able to do our laundry........ only to be halted again the following day. It was another rainy Friday that would close the workweek.

The office is the usual crazy place that it is........ people busy or acting as if they were busy with stuff.......... reports, presentations, meetings.......... the things that pretty much make work a drag....... but must be done to make the bureaucracy work....

I was thankful that the weekend was close by with a four-day workweek. Can't wait for the next long weekend.....

More rains poured in the weekend ......... Chores dragged........ laundry is mountainful........ The new helper asked to take another day-off to see her other children on Sunday........ that is something that I had to give a thought...

By late morning on Sunday, the rains stopped.......... My boy helper and I strained to give all the dogs a long-deserved bath..... The sun would peep precariously behind dark clouds......

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Letter to My Daughter

I had this task which I had been postponing for the longest time. Today is the last chance I get to write this letter for my daughter on their retreat. The retreat was supposed to be held last month. Due to unforseen event, it was moved to tomorrow and will be until Sunday where the parents are supposed to participate in the culminating activity.

About three weeks before the retreat, I got a call from a student assigned to call
the parents of retreat participant reminding them to prepare a retreat letter to their daughter or son who will be participating in the retreat. These letters are supposed to be secretly given to the guard posted at the high school gate which will be turned over to the advisers of the senior classes. I had this in mind but kept procrastinating telling myself I could easily whip up one in a jiffy.

My son had his own retreat last month. I was better prepared with this. His retreat letters were sent to his adviser on time. This daughter would sometimes hint that my son is my favorite. I have always protested this insinuation. But with this miscue on my part, how could I defend my position..... Because I was late in preparing the letter, my daughter had to bring her own letter to the retreat...... sigh.... my irresponsibility....

It is not because the letter is simply a school requirement. It is not because it is meant for a loved one. But to be honest, it is easier to write a letter to a friend, a colleague or an acquiantance than say what I really want to say to my own daughter. What do you say to someone you see everyday? It's not because I take the relationship for granted. I don't..... We may be casual in expressing affection ........sometimes feeling awkward in showing too much sweetness..... as it is just not our way.

The chance to reveal what is inside of me comes very rare for this mum....... I am not saying we do not encounter problems. We are a fairly normal family with our own unique problems. Most of the time, however, we would be too preoccupied with the issues of the moment and objectivity had to be exercised most of the time..... No time to be emotional or we would always feel so hung up. In this environ, it's not easy to express affection that is assumed to exist unnoticed in a family... like the air we breathe which we take for granted until it changes.... like when someone farts.... then everyone scampers....

I realized now that the retlet, as my daughters would call it, is one letter that is not so easy for me to prepare. I want it to be poignant without being cheesy. I want a certain lightness that would not be mistaken for not being heartfelt. I want to connect and communicate without being preachy. I want it to be upbeat without trying too hard.........

But really all I want to say is that I could not ask for a better daughter because I got the best one........ Of course, I say this to all my three kids as if each one is my only one........

Have a meaningful retreat, MD..... Mummy will miss you....

Postscript:
To all readers of this post, here is the actual letter to my daughter shared in a later post, Real Deal.

Related Posts:
Letter to my daughter
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A Letter to My Daughter

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August 31 - September 6, 2009: True Colors

"Action speaks louder than words." This is one thing I learned from my facilitation seminar last week. It's not the words or voice that matters when you are speaking. It is not new knowledge but we were surprise that even in public speaking one becomes credible not because of the words you are imparting but because of your gestures and body language. Your audience will know whether or not you practice what you're saying.....

This week I would see this point.....

I had this email exchange with my boss recently resulting in my unearthing her real position on my issue. It seems she is also playing politics kotowing to what is popular. What is popular may not always be right. I have always been adamant about what I asked from the superiors of this office. It seems she has been swayed as well. By her own admission, resistance is so strong and she is is not as strong.... It appears I lost my grounds with her..... I am back to square one.

In the past, she made me feel as if she understood and she would be objective. When backstabbing is the name of the game, I'd concede readily. It's not my game. Who can blame her? She is a temporary replacement who is also unsure of her place here.... Save for her close association with a superior who has fallen from grace, her position is also precarious especially with the impending reorganization. One way or another, something has to give.....

At the homefront, I would also discover to my dismay the real person in the neighbor I consider a friend. My boy helper intimated to me that my neighbor instructed their boy helper to pull the vines that crawled through side of their property adjacent to my pocket garden and threw these vines in our garden. Their boy helper also pushed down my favorite bamboo plant destroying the new growths and some poles. It was raining hard when her boy helper did this. He was also the one who revealed to my boy helper that it was my neighbor's instructions. I was truly dismayed learning this. Even my boy helper knew exactly what to say as he told my neighbor's boy helper that they could have just told us and we'd be glad to clean up the intruding vines or bamboo poles.... As to why she would do this in our absence and in such manner is still a mystery to me. Besides, we agreed to keep that side of the property open because that is where we would exchange food fares during Christmas and other special occassions..... that is where we would usually share stories on those idle times...... The opening is also the passage way of her kids and her helpers whenever they have been locked out. I was also thinking that I can share with them the beauty and tranquility of a nice graden, my paradise.

There were other stories from my boy helper and my other helpers. My boy helper also told me that my neighbor would also prohibit his boy helper from giving camote stalks from their vegetable garden when my boy helper was asking for some to plant in our newly plowed vegetable garden. The same camote plant came from our own camote plant. My other helper on the other hand would tell me that my neighbor would not speak to them in a good way and would snub them always. This helper once went out with the former helper of my neighbor and spent the night in the barracks of the former construction workers of my home in another project. I wasn't mad because my helper spent the night as I believe she is responsible for her actions. I was mad because she did not ask permission to spend the night. I have forgiven my helper who to her credit have not repeated the same thing. My neighbor, on the other hand, let go of her helper. There have been several replacements for the her 'erring' helper since then. I am not painting any picture here. I am just trying to understand my neighbor's actuations towards my helpers. I may not understand why but maybe she still holds a grudge against my helper.

I would meet her on the road on the same morning that my boy helper told me about the incident while I was walking to go to work. I was trying to sense if there was bad blood between us. She pulled up and engaged me in a conversation like there was nothing. I still couldn't get over the bad feeling even after that conversation.

I went home early on the last workweek only to do something I regret later. MS was acting up and said something that got my goat. I hit him where I should not. Tearfully, he apologized attempting to tell me that physical punishment is not good. I said sorry to him too painfully explaining to him how bad his words were. We ended up hugging each other. I was jolted by what I did. MS was deprived of his computer privileges as punishment. He took it well saying he could live with it. What about me? I got my own punishment thinking about what I did and regretting it..... Guilt-stricken, I would tell hubby about it and I would get another scolding.......

Rains was dumped on us in the weekend. Laundry chore was definitely off. The new helper would be so preoccupied hanging the clothes and getting it off the clothesline. The other helper would cook mostly during this extended weekend. The kids would crave for champorado which we have not had for a long time. It sounded good on a rainy weekend and we had that for two days. I took care of dog grooming. Our boy helper would help me after tending to hubby's birds.

Hubby would host a meeting for his new pals, newbie bird hobbyists. ED and MD would go out to party with their friends. The rest of the weekend, they are either reading their books or surfing the net. I would tutor MS on the laws of exponents as part of reparation of an errant mum. I let him use the pc on a limited time to further make it up to him.......

I actually stayed home the entire weekend contemplating.........

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