Ika 17 ng Oktubre 2008

I thought my morning would be serene.... I wasn't hurrying.... I wanted a relaxed pace.... because I deserved it? Probably not but I want to and that how it is....
That was until..... I read my son's text message (darn celfone) saying that he needs his illustration board which he left in our study room. Oh oh..... There goes serenity for me.....

One of my helpers asked for a day-off today to go to the debut celebration of her cousin. I asked her to bring the illustration board to my son first. After thinking that I have done my motherly duty, I prepared for work. My eldest daughter who is on her semestral break came to me to ask permission to meet her HS classmates in a mall. I barely heard her as my mind was still on my son. We always allow her anyway since she hardly goes out. We sometimes have to prod her to socialize and have fun.

I bade my daughter goodbye and took off. I decided I would be working on my reviewer in the van...... that was until..... I was harried by consecutive text messages from my son telling me he needs the illustration board, he needs a lab gown, and for me to send money to buy a lab gown. I texted him to just tell the teacher that he forgot to bring the lab gown because my helper was on her way already. I was exasperated even as tried to concentrate on what I was doing trying to answer mathematical problems in between text messages. I called my helper and she wouldn't answer. I texted my daughter to tell her to be the one to bring the lab gown to my son's school. She said she doesn't have enough money for fare. After another call and some text messages, my helper finally replied saying my son got the illustration board already. He also asked her for some money but she does not have enough to buy the lab gown.

My daughter called shortly asking me if she needed to bring the lab gown to my son's school. Too beat to deal with this, I told her to text her brother and to take care of it. I told her to just borrow money from my other helper if she needs to go to my son's school. I settled after that even as the glaring sun was making me sweat profusely in an air-conditioned van trying to answer as many numbers as possible in the reviewer. I was unmindful of anything for the rest of the trip. Soon, I was in the office.

Barring any other emergency or call from the top, I don't plan to take anything rash the rest of the day. But come to think of it, I also have to take a quick trip to the bank to make a deposit for a check I issued to Manong Bus Driver this morning because I failed to withdraw money for this purpose last night...... that is because I forgot about it. So I know from whom my son took his forgetfulness and I shouldn't be fretting.....

PS: Kagabi naman, itong pangalawang anak ko naman ang gumambala ng kapayapaan ng aking gabi habang papauwi ako. Mga hapon nung una magtext sa akin. Ang mga sumusunod ang aming textsan na me kasamang analisis:

Anak: Ma (lugar) aq. {Ipinapaalam na nasa lugar na sila ng paglalakwatsahan na pinahaging sa akin ng nakaraan na gabi}
Ako: Ganon. Bkt? {Nag-iimbestiga at nagpipilit na maging mahigpit sa pamamagitan ng pagtataray ng konti}
Anak: Kakain (smiley) {Nagpapakumbaba sa pagpapaliwanag ng dahilan ng lakwatsa}
Ako: Me pagkain nman s bhay. Cno ksama m at pano k uuwi! {Medyo ginamitan ng panunuya. Patuloy pa rin ang pag-iimbestiga}
Anak: (Pangalan ng 2 kaibigan). Sbay (pangalan ng 1 kaibigan) {Sagot sa imbestigasyon sa pamamagitan ng pagrarason}
Ako: Tpos? {Patuloy na imbestigasyon}
Anak: Trike? (Sagot na patanong dahil gusto niya na magsabi ako na susunduin ko siya}
Ako: Ano oras k u2wi? {Patuloy na imbestigasyon}
Anak: kng kelan ddtng sndo (pangalan ng kaibigan) (Pangangatwiran na me halong pagkairita dahil sa kakulitan ko}
Ako: Eh d gabi na yan (Pagtataray na me halong banta}
Anak: D nmn {Pagbibigay ng malabong kasagutan para me lusot kung sakaling gabihin}
Ako: Mag ingat kyo jan at wag mga kerengkay ha {Pagpayag ng di halata na me babala}
Anak: Ahahahaha. wats kerengkay? Ahaha {Pagkatuwa dahil sa napayagan at pagkaaliw sa babala}
Ako: Mal_l_ _ d _ in oder words {Paglilinaw at pagpapaintindi ng di tamang gawain}
Anak: Ahahaha Ok! (Pagkakaunawa sa dapat di mangyari}

Itong anak kong ito ang medyo lakwatsera. Pero sa panahon ngayon, di na rin pwede yun masyadong maging mahigpit at baka lalong mapasama ang kahihinatnan. Pero hanggang saan nga ba ang pagiging maluwag? Kung iisipin kaedad ko itong anak kong ito nung una kong natutunan ang aliw ng paglalakwatsa. Masaya makasama at makipagkwentuhan sa mga kaibigan. At sa high school ko naranasan ang pinakamasasayang bahagi ng pagkakaroon ng tunay na kaibigan.... mga kaibigan nandyan pa hanggang ngayon. Sa HS ko rin natutunan ang ilan kalokohan.... hindi naman kami natuto ng masamang bisyo, basta kalokohan na malinis pero paminsan minsan napapahamak pa rin.

Hindi naman ako mahigpit na magulang lalo na at nakikita ko naman responsable ang mga anak ko. Pero sa tingin ko, mahalaga pa rin na kahit paano ay nararamdaman din nila na interesado ka sa ginagawa nila at me pakialam ka sa kapakanan nila at kailangan din na magpaalala ka sa kanila.

Isa pang importanteng natuklasan ko na malaki na nga siguro ang puwang ng henerasyon. Iba ang ginagamit kong pananalita sa kanila kaya di naintindihan ng anak ko ang kerengkay. Tumatanda na nga siguro ako.....

Itutuloy......

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Ika 16 ng Oktubre 2008

Still, no word from the top official..... and I get more anxious this way. You know the feeling, you submit a document.... and you don't get anything..... Did she trash it? Was it perfect? Did she find me incapable that she had to tap somebody else for the job? Or did I do a magnificent job and she trusted my output so much that she went ahead in using it for whatever purpose she intended to use it. But please inform me! I don't care if you had to disparage me for producing a mediocre output nor raise hell in telling me I'm an idiot. I need a feedback ASAP. I'm an OC and I think too much......

Well, I should understand that the top official is a very busy person. The work is just in its initial stages. I was actually told that a task force will be organized and I would be a part of it. But still I freak out not knowing what happens next. I might need to reorganize my life once again if I will be working on this special assignment. While the new assignment fazes me, I am always up to the challenge of something new, something tough. And there are so many things to consider................ the kids, my pets, school, my social life, my regular work....... darn. That's a lot to think about.

Sometimes, I think normalcy might be good for me. It seems I am always pulled out to do something here. Counting this new assignment, I have worked for 3/4 of the top officials in this Department which entailed working closely as well with the one at the topmost in some cases. I am not sure if this means I must be doing something good or I couldn't function in a normal environment. Special assignments puts one on call anytime. There's no distinction anymore on what is working hours and personal time...... Depending on the boss, there are certain privileges. One allowed me and my colleague to do telecommuting which is good for me. At least, I can ensure that home is in order even as I work. I am believer that a worker functions best when he/she is able to put his/her home in order first.

Loss in this thought, I am still waiting for a feedback from the top official as I could't get past my OCness today.......

PS: Natapos ang unang review class ko kagabi. Bukas sana itutuloy pero humiling ang mga estudyante na sa susunod na linggo na ganapin. Madali naman ako pumayag at ng mabakante din ang linggong ito sa akin at baka biglang me malaking trabaho akong gagawin.

Kung ihahambing ko ang sarili ko bilang estudyante nung araw sa mga estudyante ko ngayon ay malayo ng pagkakaiba. Kami noon hindi kami basta makahiling ng mga gusto namin mangyari sa mga professor namin lalo na yun mga matatanda na sinauna ang ugali. Matibay at malawak ang puwang ng mga estudyante at professor noon. Hindi pwede yun basta mo lalapitan, kakausapin, at hihingan ng pabor.

Me mga alituntunin ang mga universidad o eskwelahan na napasukan ko sa pakikipag-mabutihan sa mga estudyante. Nasa alituntunin na ito ang di pagtanggap ng regalo o anuman pabor na galing sa estudyante. Hindi ipinagbabawal ng tahasan pero di rin inaayunan ng administrasyon ng eskwelahan ang pakikipagmabutihan sa mga estudyante sa labas ng paaralan. Pero bakit ang daming kaso ng nagiging magkasintahan o mag-asawa na guro at mag-aaral????

Sa akin, mabuti na rin yun me bukas na komunikasyon ang guro at mag-aaral. Nakakatulong yun walang puwang na namamagitan sa dalawang partido para mas magkaunawaan. Basta hindi lang aabusuhin ang kaluwagan na ito ay mas makakabuti sa pag-usad ng edukasyon.

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Ika 15 ng Oktubre 2008

I expected calm today after two days of chaos. This morning, the internet was not working. So there was relative calm and I was able to concentrate on what I needed to do. After lunch, internet service has been restored. Sometimes, I feel that technology has been cramping our already cramped existence. I often wonder how much help it has given mankind and what are the woes it brings. It's a matter of discipline one might say. But really now........left on our own devices, do we really spend productive time in front of our computers?

As I am groping for answers, I am again exposed to so many distractions..... websites to surf, bloghopping, looking for just about anything and I need to work on my reviewer for tonight. Some questions remained unanswered and I tried looking for answers in the net. Thanks to Wiki, I have completed my reviewer. This time technology works for me.

Still, I need to finish my final exams and my gray matter rather than technology would let me finish it. I am also wary of a call from the top official on my new surprise assignment. I submitted an output yesterday and I have not been called yet. You know the feeling of uncertainty when you don't know exactly how things will turn out and yet you can't make any move. That's how I feel right now.

PS: Matatapos na naman ang araw pero mag-uumpisa ulit para sa akin sa kabilang organisasyon na kabilang ako. Masaya pero mahirap din ang maraming trabahong dapat gawin. Di ko naman mabitawan dahil sa pangangailangan.... lalo na ngayon at me krisis sa buong mundo. Maswerte na nga ako at me trabaho pa ako.

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Ika 14 ng Oktubre 2008

Rainy Tuesday and I need to bring hubby to the airport. Well, he prepared well and put his headlights on auto mode. Last time I brought him to the airport, I left his headlights on and got his battery drained. It's good that his new car has this feature. I was supposed to go straight to the office but I woke up late and didn't have a chance to prepare for work. After dropping him off, I headed home.

Midway through my travel, the windshield and the glass at the back and even the window glass were frosting. After sometime, I couldn't see anything. I started to panic and couldn't think straight. I was looking for the defogger but kept pushing the wrong button. I had to stopped at a certain point because really there was nothing I could see. I nearly hit a street sign. I got out and wipe the windshield from outside. Maybe, the other motorists were wondering what I was doing. I got back in the car. I realized my stupidity when I drove off again and finally hit the wiper which cleared the windshield. I still couldn't see at the back. I called hubby but he wouldn't answer. Maybe, he was checking in. In my calmer state, I saw what I was looking for and hit it right. I drove the rest of the way back home.

Because of this, I was late again. As I left the house, I was thinking if the top official would be looking for me this morning. I didn't hear from her yesterday afternoon. But I have not received any message from her secretary until....... I got a text message saying the top official has some instruction for me...... and I was still on the road..... drats, drats, and more drats..... I texted that I brought my husband to the airport and that I was still on the road. I told the secretary that if the top official does not need to talk to me to just bring the document in the office. There was no reply after that. I texted her again as soon as I arrived in the office. She said for me to proceed to their office which is the office of the top boss since the top official is also the chief of staff of the top boss.

The top official wasn't there but the documents were left with the secretary. She told me that the documents couldn't be taken out of their office as these are confidential..... drats, drats, and more drats.....So I would be working there. That means I would be hob-nobbing with all the officials of our Department..... cool.

I started reading the documents which are financial reports...... OMG, that means I would be learning it as I do it. Anyway, it is helpful to me as well. Why? My reviewer for my class has some financial cases. By the time I am done doing this work, I would be adept in tackling the financial cases. Talk about hitting two birds with one stone.... and it all happen today.

PS: Maaga sana ako gigising pero pinapak ako ng lamok kagabi. Gustong gusto pa naman nila na sa me tenga mo sila magliliparan at maririnig mo yun pag bzzzzzzzzzz nila. Kailangan kong maglagay ng kontra lamok sa kalagitnaan ng tulog....kainis. Kaya nahirapan ako gumising at masakit ang ulo ko. Pag tag-ulan, isa yan lamok sa mga perwisyong dumadating. Nakakatakot pa ang banta ng dengue. Tuloy bago ako umalis nagbigay ako ng instruksyon sa kasama ko sa bahay na mag-ispray ng pampatay ng lamok. Mahirap na madale ng dengue at masakit sa ulo mapuyat dahil sa lamok.

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Ika 13 ng Oktubre 2008

God never intended work to become the sole focus of our lives. When it does - when it captures all our emotional energy - then work becomes an idol, a god that rules us.

I thought so...... This must explain why I always feel this way about work. I don't idolize it, certainly it's not my god! But it pays for my bills.... that's why I have to do it whether I like it or not......

Interesting day so far...... that's why this post is about three-fourths-day in the making.....

I had the day planned out until I got a text message from my officemate telling me that one of the top bosses was looking for me this morning. I had mixed feelings of anxiety and excitement. I have been secretly hounding her for a problem and she must have the answer already. On the other hand, I have been coming to work late the past months and today is no exception. I must be getting it..... Oh no.... I was thinking of excuses already..... constipation, diarrhea, migraine, family problems, marital woes, money problems,...... something believable. Or maybe, she found out I have been blogging all the time. Have I blogged about her !!!!???? She could sue me for libel.

My plan was ruined because I was supposed to be invisible this morning from my remaining JPEPA tasks so I can prepare the final exams for my class tonight. Here I am thinking of the best way to approach this Monday morning surprise as I began praying. I texted her secretary to tell her I am late and I am aware that the top official was looking for me and I'll be at the office in about 10 minutes. She confirmed that the top official was looking for me. I could feel my heartbeat go faster.... At the office, I texted her secretary that I am already available...... the nerve of me. The secretary said the top official will see me in 15 minutes.

I tried opening my email and reading stuff to calm me down. After some time, I went to the office of the top official. It was rather anti-climactic as I was expecting her secretary to usher me into her room. But she was outside looking for some documents and I was the one surprised. She told me to go to an empty room. Oh boy, am I in trouble!!!!???? Why, I serve this office for a good part of my life for pete's sake (as my son would say)! I waited and waited for her..... after 10 minutes, she wasn't there yet....15 minutes.... nothing....20 minutes..... going...... I needed to go to the toilet. I told her secretary. I went back to my office and texted the secretary to tell me when the top official is available. I got no reply. So I went back to the office. The top official was outside and saw me. She was rather in a Monday mode as she looked busy. But since I have been gone and back, she was forced to attend to me.

She was straight-forward as she asked me about what I am currently doing and my just concluded work. Then, she asked for my background. She said she wants me to work on some priority projects, something on cement prices and competitiveness. Whew...... and I thought....... I asked about the work and how soon it is needed. And it looks like I am going to have another roller coaster ride as I was getting off one....

I went back to my office and worked on my final exams during my lunch. I was in the thick of it when a student called asking if the exams can be reset for next week. She and another student are going abroad tomorrow which is the reason why they are supposed to have the exams tonight. She told me they are both going to be back next week. Fine, I guess. I was perplexed and hurriedly preparing a final examination was the last thing I wanted to do. So i told her ok and gave Tuesday as the new schedule. Then, another student texted me saying if she can take the exam ahead of the others as it is her birthday next week. I told her I don't want to do two sets of exams. I told her to talk with her other classmates and pick a day next week except Monday and Thursday. After sometime, we all agreed on a Wednesday schedule.

I am almost at the end of the day, a bit exhausted, but didn't seem to accomplish much. Perhaps, I have too much expectation of what today would bring..........

PS: Kahapon pagkatapos ng misa, sinabi ng pari na pwede na namin pakawalan ang mga paru-paro na binili namin para sa isang makabuluhang dahilan, nakalimutan ko kung ano. Binigyan kami ng tatlong paru-paro kapalit ang bayad o donasyon na P50. Ibinigay ko ang isa sa anak ko at iniuwi ang isa para ang bunso ko ang magpakawala. Maari daw humingi ng kahilingan namin na dadalhin ng paru-paro kung saan man sabi ng nagbenta. Natutuwa ako sa paru-paro kaya ako bumili. Parang gusto ko rin paniwalaan na maatutupad nga ang kahilingan pag pinakawalan ang paru-paro.

Heto ako ngayon naghihintay kung kailan matutupad ang aking kahilingan....

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Ika 12 ng Oktubre 2008

Brainchild's break.......

It's a Sunday, a holiday of obligation for Catholics. My family is split in attending to our obligation. Hubby and two kids went on their way. I had to cook a special meal I saw on Giada de Laurentis's Everyday Italian Show yesterday. I decided to hear mass later so that my eldest daughter will have somebody with her. She spent the night at her classmate's condo to work on their school project. We have been seeing less and less of her these days...........

It's been such a long day..... This post has been drafted the whole day.....

I had to cook because leaving it with the helpers spell disaster.
In between, I needed to groom our dogs.
My brother and his family came for lunch.

I am so beat up but still have to do some work...

My bathroom is only half-cleaned. I'll do the floor tomorrow.
And then, I have to prepare my final exams for tomorrow.

Oh well, I just need to put closure on this post.

PS: Mahirap din magpalit ng suking tindahan lalo na kung meron ng binibilhan na regular. Pero paano kung malaki ang diprensiya sa presyo? Kahapon dalawang tindahan ang mukhang magiging regular namin bibihan. Isa dito ay ang tindahan ng pagkain ng aso at ang isa ay ang tindahan ng prutas.

Kahapon matapos namin dalhin sa vet ang mga tuta namin ay nadaan kami sa isang tindahan ng mga pagkain at gamit ng aso. At dahil mauubos na rin ang pagkain ng mga aso, tinignan namin kung meron dito ng binibili namin pagkain. Mas mura.... kaya bumili na kami.

Nadaanan din namin ang bagong tindahan ng saging at mukhang maganda ang saging dun. Huminto ulit kami at nagtanong. Mas mura din at pwede pa manghingi ng mga nakalas na saging para sa mga hayop namin.

Ngayon umaga, me gumagambala sa amin. Dahil sa bumili na kami ng pagkain ng aso at saging ay hindi na kami bibili sa aming mga suki. Yun tindahan ng prutas, mga dalawang piling din pag bumili kami dun ng saging at pati mga aso namin ay kumakain ng saging. Kaya ng bibili na kami, sabi ng asawa ko sabihin ko daw nakabili na ng saging ang balae ko. Yun na nga siguro sasabihin ko. Pero naisip ko parang me mali dun sa magiging rason ko. Tinanong ko siya kung ano ba yun balae at di ko matandaan ang ibig sabihin. Matapos kong mawari na mali ang balae at ang ibig sabihin pala ay biyenan, bumaba na kami ng sasakyan at nagpunta ke manang. Tinanong niya agad ako, "tondan?" Sabi ko bumili ang biyenan ko. Lusot na siguro.... pero malungkot siguro si manang at kokonti ang nabili namin prutas sa knaya. Medyo nagiguilty din ako at nagsinungaling pa ako.

Tapos mamili ng prutas, punta naman sa suking tindahan ng apagkain ng aso para magbayad ng utang nung nakaraang linggo na kumuha ng pagkain yun asawa ko. Ganon din, inunahan ko na lang. Sinabi ko papuntahin ko na lang uliy un kasama ko para kumuha ng pagkain pag ubos na. Syempre hindi na ng linggong ito yan.

Mahirap magkaron ng relasyon at kailangan pangalagaan para tumagal. Pero sa kasong ito, mas naging matibay ang economiya ng desisyon para bumili sa iba.

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Santana

Santana is one of my all-time favorite band. I put on their music as I was waiting for my helper to remove all bed linens and instantly, I am in the mood for just about anything.......... Most of their music that I love are dedicated to a woman which might explain my affection ..... love songs that speak volume. The instrumental renditions are always great, almost perfect........ particularly the guitar. Rolling Stone named Santana number 15 on their list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time in 2003

1. Stormy



This would in fact make it to my top ten favorite which I have been wanting to write about for the longest time but couldn't find the time to sit down and do it. Ironically, the song stirs in my head like fresh breeze even if it suggest the opposite . ..... It's composed style has that calming effect on the nerves even as it speaks of a longing for love long gone......

2. Maria, Maria



Cool Latin music...... so crisp, haunting, enticing, seductive ...... I can go on listening to this song forever

3. Smooth



........ indeed so smooth...... if I may add so sly....yet I love its roguish touch so much....

4. Game of Love



A collaboration with Michelle Branch, another great young artist, ......... nice beat.........danceable, singeable....... I could flip.....

5. She's Not There



An oldie but goody........ a song of regret and hurt hidden in an enraged song ..... great instrumental interlude which is really Santana's signature.....

6. Black Magic Woman



Another oldie that I love since I was young...... it seems to hold back but unleashes its force towards the end...... nice beat, tempo..........

So what's your favorite Santana song?

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