Incredible January

After the hoopla of the longest Philippine holiday, I was to get the shock of life delivered electronically via SMS by a top official of our department. I was on sick bay and trying to keep my mind off my ailment by staying on the net and talking with a friend on the phone at the same time. My celfone gave out that all too familiar sound of a text message received. I didn't check the message immediately as I was still on the phone, glancing at it only briefly and decided to put down the celfone as I wasn't sure what I read is true. I was probably hallucinating from the meds....

After I was done talking to my friend, I took a deep breath and looked at my phone again... and there it was ... a message that came like lightning in broad daylight... too far-out to believe... it sounded more like a joke... except that it came from a top official. I literally wanted to slap myself except that I was already fighting a bout of migraine... and any more toll could send me back to sick bed..... I had to put down my phone again...

After a few minutes and not wanting to keep our top official wait a minute longer for my reply, I texted back saying I'll see her the following day to talk about what she is asking me to be.... I didn't want to think about it that evening and slept early ....

Coming to work the following day, I was having mixed feeling alternating between excitement and ambivalence not knowing what to expect from my meeting with the top official. I was comforting myself thinking this is all just for exigency as they probably need someone to act as the alternative choice so that the actual choice would not appear too eager. I arrived in the office early and waited for the top official's clearance to go to her office. I cleared my mind as I was treading the familiar path to her office. There wasn't much funfare as she laid out what I knew already. I replied with a question asking who the alternative is. It's another director from another office, a good friend of my boss. Great, I thought for a while.... that means he's a shoo in. Except that the top official continued to talk about what needs to be done.... I had to ask another question... What's the alternative if I decline? There's none, she said.... crap!!! She asked why I would decline. I gave her the look saying you know why... At the back of my mind, it's like she's making me the cannon fodder in a fierce battle .... You know how top official with all their wisdom seems to make you feel like you cannot not accept what they lay on the table and make you feel guilty if you don't do as asked ..... saying she wants to test me given that I have not had that chance to shine in my own office ..... Well, what can I say.... I had to accept the responsibility reluctantly .... The only condition I laid was that it should not affect my request to be transferred... She said yes....

I came out of her office still in disbelief... .... I literally hit the ground running as I assumed leadership of an office because my boss had to go on medical leave with full knowledge that my boss's people hate me to death .... How can this happen to me??!!! As I ponder on this question, I realized that there are things to do and I should do it .... and they have no choice either.... they can hate me all they want but they still have to do the job.... I console my self with the thought that this is just a temporary set-up and I'll be back to my own world in no time .....

And that was how my life was transformed from being a recluse to one of being in the public eye ...and it was too an abrupt a change that it took sometime getting used to ... More top officials were getting in touch with me for so many things. In the first few days, I began feeling the weight of the responsibility... In fairness to the staff of this office, some of them delivered what needed to be done inspite of the animosity .... Over time, this animosity, would translate to poorly executed tasks in some instances with some of the 'mindless' members of the cult. I had to be very, very careful as I tread dangerous grounds .... just as they seem wary of the whole situation.... Even in her sickbed, the boss managed to make her presence felt with some distasteful messages sent to threaten or make life miserable. I cannot succumbed to such threats .... In some instances, I had to flex muscles. Otherwise, I just let it pass ....

The work was not the problem. There were loads but nothing that cannot be done using regular mental and physical exertion.... True that I moved out of my comfort zone but I had far more difficult and challenging tasks in the past ... Without meaning to belittle the assignment, it was no rocket science .... I am now wondering aloud how an office full of supposedly 'professional' staff can make such work appear so complicated requiring long hours at the office with some crankiness to boot on certain times .....

The problem was something else ..... and that was the reason I was hesitant about accepting this assignment ..... and our top official must have seen that in my eyes ....

A friend and former colleague of mine gave me a congratulatory message one day that sounded more like a jest.... After a few more bantering, he posed a challenge for me to prove to all that I have what it takes ..... And that was to be my life in the next 60 days or so ..... one tough balancing act ......