We Are What We Are

Many times we find ourselves asking the question "Why are we stuck with some of the people we have in our lives?" We have them by affinity, association, or consanguinity. Certainly, life would be a lot better if they are not part of it..... Of the 6,800,000 or so people in this world, again I ask, "why, oh why, must we be stuck with them!".

Unfortunately, we don't really have a choice in some cases. So grin and bear, we must ... We have to share this world with them even if we feel that the world would be a better place without such creeps....... Some are not really creeps but just the same, they get into our nerves.

I have quite a few such associations.... and it's irritating to have these kind of people in your life particularly when they are so close to home. It can start harmlessly...... some casual conversation could actually lead to more sharing of thoughts which could be misinterpreted into 'closeness' that could lead to unsolicited advising.... which I loathe especially from people whose opinion I don't value and most especially because they are not well-meaning people. They love to know every tiny little detail of your life, nitpick, and over-analyze even the most inconsequential. They have an interpretation for anything. People with nothing better to do, do this all the time....

In a seminar on midlife crisis I attended last year, the resource person said that we will lose friends and some other people in our lives simply because we would outgrow them. I think that if I have not outgrown them, I am simply tired of their ways....and they cannot probably come to terms with that fact that they have been outgrown. They remain in the quagmire that they have always stayed in without any hope of ever getting out. They are envious, gossipy, resentful,and always on the look out for anything that can destroy people.... Some of them are supposed to be our elderly........ One such person would tell me that ED is like an elderly for being reserved and would show irritation over MS because being a kid, he was all over the place. The same person would proudly tell me that a grandchild was reassigned in the field and would be getting a raise. She added, however, that this grandchild is not used to working hard (the exact term in the vernacular is "di sanay mahirapan")...... I think the person just meant to say that since they are wealthy, the kid does not have to strive and work hard. If these are the kind of values they are teaching their youngsters, I am proud of my introverted and hyperactive kids who know the value of work and sacrificing to get what they want and certainly know that money is not everything.

Another variation to these type of people are those who want to talk about themselves painting for them a picture bigger than who they really are and catapulting themselves to a place that they think is rightfully theirs.... They like to feed on their own low self-esteem that constantly need affirmation.... They talk about their enormous wealth, travels, and latest acquisitions in front of a captive audience. There's nothing wrong with that except when that is the only thing that they can talk about. Let me tell you it's tacky and uncalled for...... Wealth is something that is best not flaunted. Flaunting wealth is evident among the so called "new money". My son has the right term for them.... boasts........ They boast to anyone, willing or unwilling, thinking that everyone is impressed by the object of their conceit.

My family is not used to this kind of cheap talks where a boast would monopolize a conversation in a captive (or is captured more apt) audience. We cannot be found in a table of suckers and victims forced to listen. Or in the unfortunate event that we find ourselves caught, we will find a way to get out of the situation as quietly as possible. Because we cannot be part of your captive (captured) audience whenever you want to boast, doesn't mean we are rude. We will stay as long as we can but not forever. Quite frankly, we don't mind nor care about the color of your fleet of vehicles or how much you reward your kids with an insane amount of money. Don't feel slighted when we leave the floor when we couldn't stand your insensitivity and rudeness for holding people captive as you brag. Don't make an issue out of it and talk about us like we wouldn't know because you pass on your concocted story to people like you who will keep on passing it to make sure it reaches us.

We are what we are.........because we are real....You're not forced to accept us for what we are, warts and all, .......... but live and for once, try letting others live in peace......

It's sad that wisdom does not necessarily come with age.... or wealth. Even with the experiences afforded by getting older, not all become wiser. Even if resources are available to improve one's mental and emotional being, some do not simply have it in them to learn the ways of the wise.

If you feel you are being alluded to by this post, you are probably right. Yes, it's you and you know who you are.... If I happen to hit a sensitive chord in you, apologies but I am not taking anything back..... If you happen to feel insulted and decide to get out of our lives..... good riddance...... It's probably for the best. Try to breathe because you are gasping for being so full of ourselves..... For once, stop living in your Nirvana and be real....
Apologies for the the anger in this post..... It's just that I have to ventilate...

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How to Deal with Criticism and Critical People