Innocence, Pure and Simple

The chaos that came about because of the disaster that recently happened led to the suspension of classes. For the whole week, my kids were mostly on the laptop or pc doing various pursuits or watching TV and pigging out on whatever was available. The girls would be involved in some relief efforts organized by the school and would go there on some days. My son would go with them one time.

Knowing that MD would be going to school to help, I thought it would be a cool idea to have ED and MS join her. I asked if my son wanted to go and he said yes readily without giving it any thought. I told MD about it on the morning she was set out to go. Irritated, she told me that ED would be going but resented that MS would go with them asking me who would take care of him. I said he doesn't need to be taken cared of. She said she and her sister didn't have money. I said I would give money to MS. I tried to appeal to her compassion to let her brother join them. She was still adamant and told me that MS would be hanging with ED. I went to ED's room who was still sleeping and told her about my idea and she had the same reaction as MD's. I was my usual insistent self and I told MS to prepare and gave him money. I hurriedly went through the linen cabinets in the attic to get our spare pillows, pillow cases, and a blanket for them to bring. I left for work hopeful but not confident that the two girls would let their brother join them as he was preparing himself. I texted both ED and MD once again appealing to their compassion. MD would be the one replying to me telling me after a number of exchanges that MS agreed not to go with them. I didn't reply anymore and accepted their decision. In a while, MD would text that MS would join them. I was pleased.......... I know MS is a generous soul as he has shown a capacity to feel the pain of others and given the chance he would rise to the occassion. I am glad my kids were taking the initiative in helping the flood victims.

With a week to spare, my son would mostly be playing games on the laptop using the
facebook account I opened for him and some other games. I prefer that he uses the facebook applications rather than computer games involving fights or violence. On facebook, he tends to a farm, manages a resto, takes care of a dog and a cat, and buys and hires some friends including me. Facebook and another game, Fish Tycoon kept him occupied the entire time he was home......... until one morning as I was leaving for work he grudgingly told me that he couldn't open his facebook account anymore and is labelled an invalid user. "What!", was my suprised reaction to his pronouncements. I asked if he did something. He thought awhile and said he changed his birth year. "Why!", was my annoyed reply. He explained that he was uncomfortable with the information on his profile because it's not true. He added that he doesn't want to lie.

I was caught in a dilemma. I opened his facebook account for him. He was watching me as I was doing it. When it came to his birthday, I had to click on a year which makes him older than what he really is. He resented this even then. I told him some sites required a minimum age. As soon as his facebook account was ready, he became engrossed with it as he tried all the apps. I thought he had forgotten about my little 'lie'. Apparently, he didn't as he tried to rectify the disinformation.

In my effort to shield him from violence, I had to make that 'lie'. My intention was good but the means does not justify it. My son took matters into his own hands. He was visibly disappointed and even mad at the site creator for having such a policy. I had to explain to him that they could also get into trouble if they don't put restrictions in the site. He hasn't quite understood what harm could happen with children using social networking sites or the internet in general. I am glad he hasn't explored that far. Maybe, he is just really naive. He still has the innocence of a small child, one which view things as just either right or wrong......... no gray areas.

Protecting the innocence of children was once understood by society to be important. Now, children are being systematically attacked by a culture becoming more determined to remove the safe guards necessary to protect children from an adult culture. Childhood must be a time of safety, exploration, and discovery, not a quick transition from childhood to instant adulthood.

The prevailing atmosphere regarding children’s innocence is to move them rapidly toward adulthood indoctrination and further away from childhood sheltering. Why? The perceived desire is to evade hypocrisy (one of the last identified evils) by supplanting it with authenticity, truthfulness, and realism. Although this has an appearance of compassion, that of preparing children for a cruel unfair world, in truth, it exchanges the gift of innocence with the ruthlessness of reality.

Since he lost his facebook account, he avoids the topic like a plague and contented himself playing his own computer games. I asked him a number of times if he wants me to open him another facebook account. He would answer, "I don't know." and just shrug his shoulders. In my last attempt, he told me that he is uncomfortable faking his information. My all-knowing self wanted to tell my son that there is wisdom in being discreet about information in the virtual world. Then again, I thought about how refreshing it is to see childlike-innocence in my almost teenage son. He finally shut me off saying he would just wait till his next birthday coming in the next few months so that he can legally and rightfully open his own facebook account. My jaw dropped at my son's sacrifice to postpone gratification until the right time knowing how much he loves the facebook applications. Then again, adults like me should take heed and comfort in the wisdom of innocence.

For our children’s sake and for the future of our world, we must protect the innocence of children. Innocence is a wellspring of life. A child’s innocence reminds us of our own childhood. We long to be young again, and through the innocence of their eyes, we are.

Plato said, “Necessity is the mother of invention.” This might be true, but I believe instead, youthful innocence is the mother of invention. It is the curiosity, energy, and the innocent courage of the new generation that challenges and invigorates the older one. If these little ones curiosity and innocence were damaged or stolen, then they would be just like most of us older ones, tired, bitter, and worn-out.

No, innocence and youth must be kept together. We need innocence just as much as our children. A world without children would be a dismal place. What would restrain humanity from becoming totally depraved? It is because of the innocence of children that we are reminded of our humanity. And our humanity demands that we protect their innocence.

Even though some believe it is better to take off the training wheels of innocence for the sake of complete realism and authenticity, the reality is children still need their “wheews.” Therefore, it is our responsibility as parents, grandparents, and adults at large to provide that protection.

Related Posts:
The Doing Away of Childhood
Letting Go of Your Child’s Innocence
Teaching Children About Forgiveness - Honoring Your Child's Innocence
Innocence is Bliss